questions from readers

I recently received a question in the comments section of our podcast Personality Types in Personal Development:

“I never quite thought of the auxiliary function (the co-pilot) as growth state, or at least in those words, but moreso as implementer of the primary function (the driver), which at the end of the day is actually growth! Would you elaborate a bit more on how you see growth from the co-pilot standpoint? Do you see it as merely the implementer of the Driver or as something more, or a combination of the two?”

– Julian

the Car Model yet, please read this post for a more complete picture.>

In order to be a well-rounded person, we need to be able to do four things successfully:

1. We need to be able to get in touch with our ‘inner world’.
2. We need to be able to get ‘outer world’ feedback.

AND

3. We need a way to take in new information.
4. We need a way to evaluate that information and make decisions.

If we’re missing any of those four things, we end up being lopsided. If we can’t get in touch with our inner world, we become overly reactionary to outside stimuli. If we’re out of touch with the ‘outer world’, then we ignore vital feedback that keeps us in touch with ‘reality’.

Similarly, if we don’t take in new information we become highly prejudice. And, alternatively, if we can’t evaluate new information to make decisions we do nothing but tread water.

Awesomely, our Driver and Co-Pilot processes help use perform all four, since each of 8 cognitive functions are either Extraverted or Introverted as well as being either info-gathering or decision-making.

If your Driver process is Introverted, your Co-Pilot will automatically be Extraverted (and vice versa). And if your Driver process gathers new information, then your Co-Pilot automatically evaluates to make decisions (and vice versa).

personalityhacker_driver-and-co-pilot-graphic

personalityhacker_driver-and-co-pilot-2

(If you use the graphic for reference, remember that all the Sensor and Intuitive processes learn new information and all of the Thinking and Feeling processes evaluate information to make decisions.)

This is why we call the combination of the Driver and Co-Pilot your ‘genius’ – you can’t be in your genius if you’re missing two necessary components of personality. The stronger your Co-Pilot process, the more balanced you become as a person and the more in your genius you are.

As an aside – It’s not uncommon for people to assume that if you’re, say, an Intuitive you need to focus more on your Sensory process, or if you’re a Feeler you need to become more Thinker. It feels like a common sense approach to becoming ‘balanced’. Unfortunately, this only ends up diluting the talents of your Driver and Co-Pilot.

It’s called the ‘cost of specialization’ – you are going to, by definition, become stronger at the things you place your attention on and weaker at anything not within that sphere of attention. Since time on this planet is short, if you try to be good at everything you become good at nothing. My observation has been that the people at the top of their game haven’t tried to be more Intuitive if they’re Sensor or more feeler if they’re a Thinker. They’ve, instead, focused on developing that Co-Pilot process (whether they realize it or not!).

Back to the point.

Each personality type LOVES their Driver process. If you ask someone to describe themselves, even if they know nothing about personality types they’ll end up spending about 80% of their time describing that process. Using our Driver process is a pleasure, often puts us in a flow state, and we naturally allocate a lot of time to it. We clock our ‘10,000 hours’ using the Driver process because we just like it so much.

The Co-Pilot process… not so much. For a couple of reasons.

First, it will be in the opposite attitude of our Driver process. “Attitude” is in-speak for “Introversion or Extraversion.” Meaning, if our Driver process is Introverted, then our Co-Pilot is Extraverted (and vice versa, as mentioned before). The world in the opposite attitude of our Driver is a less comfortable place for most of us.

As an Extravert, I can attest to the ‘inner world’ being far less easy for me to manage than the outer one. And I’ve yet to meet an Introvert that doesn’t regularly need alone time to recover from the outer world.

So, our Co-Pilot process forces us to visit that ‘other’ world. This is GOOD for us, but not always comfortable.

Second, it will also require us to either be more thoughtful about our decisions or it will require us to make a decision. For those that have a decision-making process as their Driver, it’s sometimes difficult for them to slow down enough to take in more information. And for those who have information gathering as their Driver, feeling pressured to make a decision can be torture.

personalityhacker_comfort-zone-graphicAgain, this discomfort is good for us. All growth happens out of our comfort zone.

So, while our Co-Pilot is a natural gift and preference, the exercising of this process can represent discomfort. If we’re used to indulging ourselves psychologically and emotionally, we just won’t go there.

I should probably make a note about the difference between using and exercising a process. It’s easiest to do so with an illustration.

If you pick up a golf club and hit a golf ball with it, that’s using a golf club. If you dig a 4.25 inch hole and attempt to get the golf ball into that hole from 290 yards… now you’re exercising that usage. You’ve set a measurable goal and can observe improvement. Exercise isn’t simply usage, it’s increasing skill and competency.

We’re all going to use both our Driver and Co-Pilot processes. And unless we’re very unhealthy, we’ll exercise the Driver process because it’s fun to give it challenges and watch it improve. However, our Co-Pilot isn’t as intrinsically rewarding to push toward excellence, so it often is in a diminished ‘supporter’ role.

As I mentioned before, the people at the top of their game – gymnasts, musicians, mathematicians, engineers, etc… – are sometimes so balanced you can’t tell which process is their Driver and which is their Co-Pilot!

(There are some that are so unhealthy you can’t tell their Driver process, either, but this isn’t due to Co-Pilot development. They’re usually too invested in their 10 Year Old process or ‘forced’ into their 3 Year Old process synthetically.)

So, to answer your question: YES. The Co-Pilot process is the key to the whole enchilada. The more developed it is, the more a person actively exercises the process, the more they’re in their Zone of Genius. (I’d copyright that, but it’s not that good.)

Hope that helps – thanks for the question!

-Antonia

Want to learn more?

Discover Your Personal Genius

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33 comments

  • Matt
    • Matt
    • June 13, 2018 at 11:10 pm

    Hi, INFP here, authenticity driver. Thanks for this article. I did felt discomforted while reading it! I understand your point when you talk about getting out of the comfort zone. However, I doesn’t feel authentic to force me to be something I’m not (extroverted energy). It’s true I saw some benefits in the past as the result of using exploration. But when I balanced the risk-benefit relationship of the equation I realized I ended up feeling drain, my energy was gone when trying to embrace the extroverted energy of exploration. I felt empowered for like a second and then I needed 2 days a 11 hours sleep to recover from those experiences. Besides, the term “growth” is a individual/subjective one. Growth does not mean the same to me as it would for you. And the only moment when I can produce without distraction is when I am being authentic and driven by my values. I’m unstoppable that way, so I don’t see much point in being extroverted. In fact the word “flow” or “state of flow” has a positive connotation by itself. And “to force” something sounds more like being a masochist who feel placered by torture. Believe me, I tried. I tried SO hard to go out and to put my authenticity to the test, only to come back home feeling utterly frustrated, with my energy completely drained, my chest sore, and fully depressed. I no longer expect people to understand my. They don’t need to understand me, but to love me and accept me the way I am. If so, I will do the same with them, possibly even more. Apart of that, who on earth invented that frase that “you should get out of your comfort zone”? Where is this frase came from? I hear it a lot nowadays. Why on earth I would think it is convenient to get out of my power, my authenticity? To it seems I am not being true to myself and I am not loving myself if I force myself to do whatever. I need to want to do that. I must feel right first.

  • Mia
    • Mia
    • April 17, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    ISFP- What you have said is true. I’m not that comfortable using extraverted sensing. It feels like I’m losing myself or becoming something very ‘unlike’ myself. It feels as if I’m trying too hard to be something I’m not! An outgoing person. I’m a home loving girl and I don’t like hanging out with people much. But I try to get out of the house once in a while or I’ll go crazy. What should I do to make the process of exercising my Co pilot less stressful and more comfortable?

  • Antonia Dodge
    • Antonia Dodge
    • November 14, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    I’d recommend finding your type on the site and reading the articles, listening to the podcasts and watching the videos. This article is intended to support a concept, those resources are intended to be more targeted. It would be kind of silly to address all 16 types in a single article.

    That would make sense, right?

    A

  • Deborah Dahl
    • Deborah Dahl
    • November 14, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    You seem to prefer to keep presentation materials brief, but your value proposition is all about tailoring personal growth goals to your particular personality type. In that respect, this would be much more satisfying & meaningful for clients if the conceptual framework were developed to provide specific examples and illustrations of how this lesson module plays out in real time with my type.

  • Helen Thomas
    • Helen Thomas
    • July 8, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    INFJ – this is so crystal clear in terms of how to grow and move outside of my comfort zone. So, I need to focus more energy on extroversion and on Harmony decision making. Feels very challenging because I SO love my comfort zone!! :)

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