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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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306 comments
Hey, my name is Alex (20) and I literally just fund out that I am an INFJ Type A. This podcast is the most accurate thing I have ever listened to! This is the validation that I have been looking for my entire life. It is very hard for me to put into words how I am feeling right now because like you’ve said, there has been so much pain attributed to being this personality type. My very close friend who is a sociology major recently asked me to do the “16 Personality” test, and I found out that I am the “Advocate.” I have always avoided these kinds of tests because I have always thought that they were just trying to sell me something because thats how I perceive the world.
I have been on a self explorative mission the past few months and I have never truly found what I am looking for until now. I began doing more research online because I was absolutely shocked how I could be compared to Gandi and Martin Luther King. I looked up the most accurate personality tests available and came across you two. I took the test and boom; Advocate. To answer the question of what INFJ’s do to cope, I would say art and music. Not only have I had the stress of being an INFJ for my entire life, but I have also struggled with many other tribulations including my father’s severe stroke, and a hand injury where I completely severed 9 tendons, 2 nerves, and an artery on glass. I have always felt that I have experienced more pain than anyone should have to suffer and so I make it my personal goal to make sure that no one I care about feels the pain that I have gone through. As a consequence though, I have always forgotten to take care of myself until fairly recently. For me, art has been such an amazing way for me to get me out of my mind. Since I am a perfectionist, I do not stop working until I am fully happy with my own work. It is my medium for getting my pain out and if you can appreciate art, then it speaks for itself (@art_by_alto is my art instagram). I pride myself on my ability to sense empathy within people and I have subconsciously tried to surround myself with people who value me. I am still processing all of this information but I want to say that you are SPOT ON with how you described me and it is quite crazy how you seem to know me more than quite literally everyone I have come in contact with to date.Hey everyone, my name is Sahana, well thanks for your podcast it was really helpful and I really learnt a lot of myself. If it wasn’t the Myers and Briggs then I don’t know what would have happened around me and the world.
I don’t have any idea was born or made of to be an infj; either way my life was torn apart.
I always feel misunderstood by everyone, when ever I hear a response, it often comes like to hurt me, or to insult me even if know that’s silly.
To make matters worse I found that not only me but my parents are also tormented in some way which I realised after a long search just months ago.
My mom, a victim of depression and my dad captured by narcissistic personality disorder, unfortunately though a weird and worst combination of you ask me.
So I am in a situation where hatred and grief, in short it’s like fire and ice hurling words at me.
This makes me even less chances for me to share about myself to them no matter I die hard trying to.
But now after all those incidents it has made me a hard person and independent too.
Now I am in a real dilemma, I also noticed that I am an ambidextrous person even the doctor and my parents agreed with me.
I have a confusion now, I did some light reading of the 16 personalities so far, I have
analytical emotions and logical feelings, (I couldn’t put it any better than I can).
I am not really sure whether I am an INFJ or an INTJ…or something else that suits me.
So I seek some light on the matter.
Plus I always just think hours about the future of my life though I have just finished my tenth grade. Can you please tell me a solution to over come this?
I thank you spending a considerable amount of time for reading and looking at my life.
Great to hear that there are some unique people like me.
Shadow I’m not a professional in this matter but I see that there is no reply so I’m going to give it my best shot. First and foremost I want to say that you are a person you have a name and an identity and you occupy a space in this earth that no one can as long as you are standing in it. (In other words validate yourself as a living breathing thing) and just for that you need to be acknowledged and respected but it has to start with you ( in other words set boundaries) I could cry right now if I let what I feel connecting with you take over but it wouldn’t do any good to you so I continue. (It’s a burning sensation in my chest that I recognize as pain and debilitating anxiety) I was there where you are when I was 15-18 yo and I’m 42 I thought my life had no purpose or meaning people used me and discarded me at will. I felt like an object rather than a person. This concept that I’m about to share with you saved my life. In general you cannot give anything you don’t have example: You cannot give someone an apple if you don’t have one to begin with, you cannot give a homeless a penny if you don’t have one (you get the point) those are tangible things but let’s apply that concept to intangible things like; you can’t give love if you don’t have love for yourself, you can provide peace if you don’t have peace in your life, you can’t give an advice if you have not used that on your own life and know for a fact it works. My advice to you is, be selfish and work on yourself first, say no to others in the process is ok. If you have to drop friends and family from your phone do it while you work on you(trust me they will survive without you) once you have all those things accomplished for your self you will see that it’s easier and more enjoyable and rewarding when you give them or share with others. So much so that you would feel more fulfilled and no longer drained lonely and depressed because you still have some left for you. (In other words no validation needed)
Such a great podcast. I’m going to have my ENFP husband listen to this. Just so he can sort of understand. He’s my safe place where I can rest so this will help him know why.
Being an Infj is also why living in Las Vegas for two years was the worst two years of my life. I could not shut out the energy that just pulsed off of that place. I’ve never been so happy leave leave somehere.
Hey erm my names Bradley (everyone calls me shadow though) I took my personality test and it said im an infj-t and I’m (how to put this err) I’m an outcast and I need help I try to help everyone but they just throw me away when they’re back on their feet and I just can’t do it no more I’ve been stuck in my room for three months now I’m only 15 and I just don’t know what to do anymore can anybody help me…plz cuz my minds reeling back and forth my thoughts are everywhere and I’m just a wreck rn idk anymore everything’s just woof for me at the moment… Help plzzzz…thanks