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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFP personality type.
In this podcast on INFP Personality Type you’ll find:
- Why are INFPs misunderstood?
- The cognitive function is a mental process that helps you learn information or make decisions.
- The 4 letter code tells you how your brain is wired. It’s like an entrance on how you learn processes.
- Authenticity – Is a way that you (as an INFP) make your decisions which is more inclined what resonates with you the most as a person.
- INFPs understand emotions on a whole different level.
- Questions to ethics become very intriguing to INFPs. For example: “what determines an ethical or moral action?”
- Authenticity is very in touch with the subjective human experience.
- Authenticity is where we humans find conscience. Because that’s when we ask, “how do we honor people’s individuality?”
- Oftentimes, INFPs become masters of human experience in general.
- The ability to determine that something resonates is a maturity of the Authenticity process. As it matures, it understands that not everything they experience is the same as everyone.
- Do INFPs truly want to be understood?
- Nobody could be 100% understand them apart from themselves.
- INFPs feel being marginalized and dismissed way more than being misunderstood.
- INFPs seek validation.
- We want to acknowledge that they have a specific type of pain based from their personality type.
- Authenticity type should be balanced with Exploration. Exploration (the co-pilot function) is about advanced pattern recognition in the outside world – thinking behind the curtain.
- If you want more description or definition, check out our episode “Introverted Intuition VS Extraverted Intuition”.
- Your superpowers are developed when you learn to master your co-pilot.
- Art is one of the places where INFPs thrive.
- Art is a communication of feeling and INFPs simply flourish in this context. They create art that’s impactful.
- For INFPs, they tend to recall how they felt/reacted in the past.
- They have the ability to mirror emotions. They don’t need to mirror emotions in real time. For example, the can look at an art piece and mirror the emotion to themselves.
- Authenticity people tend to recall how they feel/how they imagined they would feel and then instantly replicating the emotion inside them.
- The emotional language can be transferred in long extensive periods of time.
- In order to be authentic, you need to have a mature and vast understanding of how the world works.
- Intent: The Darker aspect of Authenticity. INFPs tend to try to give a reason that’s combated with logic.
- INFPs tend to defend their intent, because they see a wide array of positive and negative intent. They understand how people can easily go and slip into bad intent.
- Healthy INFPs view everything has positive intent.
- Being able to understand that darkness is universal and part of the human experience will help you accept yourself.
- How to go about making a living as an INFP?
- Getting something done can sometimes be very challenging for INFPs.
- INFPs have the desire to make an impact and be an inspirational leader. Oftentimes, they will disregard the passion they have. Passion is extremely important.
- Authenticity people can have the tendency to marginalize people. Make sure you do what you’re passionate with. Check in with yourself what you really want.
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215 comments
I test as INFJ with the personality hacker test, but with the tests from other sites, I come up INFP. After listening to this, I feel that INFP is probably correct for me, although I can definitely relate to descriptions of both types.
One thing that struck me when Antonia was discussing how sometimes an INFP will suddenly make a strong stand on a seemingly unimportant issue such as which restaurant to go to, but not be able to explain or justify to the rest of the group why they want to do so. The examples that she gave as to reasons, were all very practical, such as they had changed their diet , etc. However, I think that in a situation like this, the true reason would probably be emotionally based. If it were just about the food, that would be an easy explanation to put forward. I am guessing that there were probably indications to the INFP that one or more people in the group were experiencing feelings that would be aggravated or relieved by certain environments. When someone gets really skilled at reading emotions and group dynamics, at times they can anticipate how things may play out. Often this really is of little importance, overall. But if an INFP (or INFJ I would think) recognizes that either themself, or another member of the group may be feeling vulnerable, and just doesn’t want to deal with any drama right now, they may be pushed to stand up and make demands. However, it probably wouldn’t go over very well to try to explain that: Joe is grumpy and tired, the restaurant they are suggesting has many televisions which will be showing the sports game which will feature Joe’s favourite team playing Bill’s favourite team. Bill seems really exuberant and is obviously in a very competitive mood since he is already teasing Nancy about how his new car is so much superior to her new car. Joe is not going to respond well if Bill starts teasing him about his team. Plus, Sally looks a bit down. This particular restaurant is quite dim and noisy and will probably not elevate her mood. But if she gets quiet, Bill may tease her, and then grumpy Joe will be even more annoyed with Bill, and Joe might think that Sally may be mad at him for some reason, since he really likes her and is hypersensitive to her opinion. Personally, the INFP has had a rough week, just wants to have a fun, relaxed time, and does not want to spend the rest of the weekend fielding texts and phone calls from all the individual members of this group who are trying to figure out if so-and-so is mad at them, or if they like them, or if they said too much or not enough to someone, etc. So the INFP is simply trying to steer the group to a place that they are pretty certain will keep the individuals most likely to have the strongest emotional reactions happy, so that the INFP can relax and enjoy the evening/weekend as well. And yes, INFPs really do go through all that information in just a few seconds, even imagining how each of these people do and could feel, so they are already feeling slightly overwhelmed before they even get to any restaurant! To top it all off, Joe, Bill and Sally may not even be fully aware of their emotions, depending on their own personality types and self-awareness, and may become very defensive or even feel personally attacked if the INFP mentions it. This is one of many reasons why INFPs have trouble articulating the reasons behind their decisions at times. Delicacy is required when talking about peoples emotions, and if the sole reason behind a decision is based on someone else’s feelings, it may not feel right to bring it up. It could be an invasion of that person’s privacy. Just because the INFP/J is picking up on these feelings, does not mean that that individual wants them to be made public.
The above could be the thought process behind a mature, self-aware INFP demanding to change plans, or sticking fast to a decision that seems odd to the others. An immature, or not so self-aware INFP would probably just think “Oh, please God, no, not there!!!” without having a clear understanding of why they feel so strongly. They just feel that it is very important that things go a particular way.
Emotions can be a very delicate topic to discuss at the best of times. INFPs know this very well. So, often, even when an INFP does know exactly why they have come to a particular conclusion, they may struggle to find a way to explain that will be accepted, but not offensive to any personality types who do not want to deal with the topic of feelings. Trying to discuss emotions without mentioning feelings…No wonder FPs struggle to explain things coherently.
I might also mention, that if the INFP does give in and go to the restaurant that the others want, and things progress as the were afraid they would, it is likely that the INFP will have to put up internal barricades to separate them from the surge of feelings that build in the others around them. They will probably end up seeming quiet and withdrawn, as they attempt to shield themselves from emotions that they do not feel equipped to experience that evening. This can easily be interpreted by the others as the INFP sulking over not getting their way. This can be very painful to the INFP who was only trying to protect themself and their friends from unnecessary stress and drama.
As INFPs get older and get more experience in how other personality types, especially those in their circle of friends and family, expect to receive information in a way that will actually persuade them, we can use these methods to aid us in our arguments. Unfortunately, it can feel very inauthentic to do so, since the ‘data points’ that need to be used to explain, are not truly what we are basing on our decisions on. Individual INFPs would have differing views on how comfortable they would be using these techniques. Does the end justify the mean?
I want to thank Antonia and Joel for this great pod cast. It really helped me to understand the INFP personality. I really thought that I was an INFJ since I am always feeling buffeted about by peoples’ emotions, even when I don’t know them. But through this podcast I truly came to see that I am simply experiencing the emotions that I know that I would feel, if I were in their place. Or, reading their clues, and guessing what they are feeling, and then experiencing that feeling. I really need to work on reminding myself, that not all people feel the same thing about the same event, and teach myself not to necessarily react so deeply to what I suspect others are feeling.
Stumbled onto this site over the weekend and am glad I did. This really captured the sense of being an INFP. I generally test as INFP and did so here as well. However, I tended to find the type descriptions from a lot of sites and books less than helpful. If you read the type, the INFP is supposed to be this totally idealistic crusader who is also a gentle reflective soul who takes times between noble causes to drift through the woods writing poetry while dressed like an extra from Lord of the Rings. Um…not quite me here. In fact, have so not connected to that image that I found the ENFP more akin to my world of being hyperactive and involved in lots of things. Part of it is the E vs I…some folks talk about it being energized among people or not while others say it is about an internal mental process about reflecting before doing. The description here of I being that the inner world is the main world makes so much sense. A lot simpler. In fact, I suspect one reason why the descriptions seem a bit off is because they are often not written by INFPs.
The sense of the type being governed by hard to define emotion is right on. I married into a family of strong E’s where folks know exactly how they stand in .0006 seconds. By the time I can even start to define sorta how I feel about something, they have moved on to 3 other topics. That may be why we are talked about as processing before acting…it takes us a while even to know how we feel about something let alone know how to respond. The intensity of emotion is right on as well. I will be placid and easy going until I become Mt. Vesuvius and erupt in an overblown way that is embarrassing…leading to more shame for letting it happen. The last thing that may tie into this is not exactly idealism but identity as the main motivation. It is about finding who we are and how we see ourselves. That can be an ideal but it might also be a sense of connection to a “tribe” of some sort. Full circle to introvert/extravert: I find myself loving joining groups for a sense of identity…esp if they come with symbols and bling to express it…but then get anxiety when folks me to attend meetings. Um no thank you. Can I just pay the dues and keep the lapel pin?
Hey! I like The Cure. One of my favorite bands. I’m going into my room, lock the door, turn off the lights, and listen to Disintegration! ????
I think I’ve been using my inferior functions a lot as a way to translate a “simplified” version of what I mapped out with my Fi. I know that nobody can understand the inner workings of how I came to a conclusion, and I don’t need them to…but if I can present it in a way that another person would be able to relate to (i.e. on their terms), it’s so fulfilling. I think this is part of the “emotional aikido”. I have been doing a lot of mediating and helping out with communication issues between family members, as well as friends at work. I can see where each individual is coming from and why the other/s do not understand them. And I almost wonder if this mediation work is me using all my functions as a working unit, with Fi-Ne goal of wanting my loved ones to feel validated but at the same time using Si-Te to be able to pull out concrete examples and situations to get my point across and come up with practical, actionable advice.
Brilliant guys you got this so right.