INFJ Personality Type Secret

JOEL MARK WITT: Hey, welcome to Personality Hacker. I’m Joel Mark Witt.

ANTONIA DODGE: I’m Antonia Dodge and today we’re going to talk about the Myers Brigs personality type INFJ’s. We’re going to do a little bit of a riff on it. We’re not going to go super deep dive, but we just kind of want to talk about a bit of an overview of this type and some of the things that they deal with.

JOEL MARK WITT: So, in the Myers Brigs System, this is INFJ and the genius system that we use, it is perspectives harmony.

ANTONIA DODGE: Now, we did a podcast on INFJ’s that went pretty granular and talked about a lot of the pain that they experienced because of their unique ability to absorb other people’s emotions. Now, what’s really interesting is that the only other type that even comes close to this is the ENFJ, but even they don’t hold a candle to the amount of what we call psychic garbage that INFJ’s pick up and it’s pretty amazing how they do this. In fact, some of them have gone into professions like being a medium, or reading other people’s auras because they pick up so much from other people.

Even INFJ’s that maybe don’t feel comfortable with that component, they know that when somebody else is around, and is experiencing something that is a very strong emotion, the INFJ will sort of absorb it as their own. They might be feeling one way one second and say, in a restaurant, somebody walks in feeling grumpy and all of a sudden they might feel grumpy and they might not even know the person or even had acknowledged that a person who’s grumpy walks in and they’re like, “Why am I feeling grumpy all of a sudden?” They’ll look around the restaurant and sure enough, there’s that dude. He walked in. He’s really grumpy and then all of a sudden, I’m feeling it.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah.

ANTONIA DODGE: So, this is a really unusual ability that they have and it’s not shared by any other of the 15 Myers Brigs types.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah, and this sensitivity, you know, can lead to ESP and understanding things like that, but also, the healing arts or the helpful arts. You know, counselors, people who coach, people who are able to be therapists and understand the human condition, understand how people really emote, how they’re hearts work. I think these people really get this at the core level.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah. They lead with an intuitive process. Now, when you look at the breakdown, and say, the car model of the INFJ personality type, or what is technically called their cognitive functions, when you look at that, they actually lead with their intuitive process, which is why they pick up so much unconscious pattern recognition. This is a big part of why they pick up other people’s emotions as well.

But, they lead with an intuitive process, so their decision making process, which is a feeling process, is actually supplemental and the car model that would make their intuitive process the driver and their decision making process a feeling their copilot.

Now, behind the copilot sits the 10 year old of their sort of mirrored thinking process and what that basically means to put it in Layman’s terms, is that their feeling and their thinking process is a little more balanced than maybe somebody that is leading with a feeling process, like an ENFJ leads with their feeling. So, for INFJ, sometime they can type out as thinkers, which is really interesting. SO, if you have…if you are an INFJ and you’re like, “Oh, I’m really close on the thinking feeling,” you’re right, you are…

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah.

ANTONIA DODGE: …because you’re feeling process is called the copilot or the supplemental and your thinking process is what’s called technically your tertiary or in our system, your 10 year old process and both of those are very conscious for you. So, INFJ will sometime kind of feel and weirdly enough, kind of cold and like a thinker and they see that and are really in touch with that component of their personality type.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah. You’ll see INFJ’s as accountants or people that are very down driven sometimes. They have a tendency…

ANTONIA DODGE: In tech.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah, technology, like coding or something like that. I have a friend who is an INFJ who loves coding.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: He’s really into coding. So, this can show up and it looks sometimes, like you said, like a thinker in a lot of ways.

ANTONIA DODGE: …and they’re really connected to that part of them, but really when it comes down to personal development for them, the further they get away from that sort of cold distance analytical component and more get into their feeling component of harmony, even though it’s painful, it’s actually the key to their personal development.

We use the phrase, the way out is through and the more you master that feeling component if you’re an INFJ, which we call harmony, the more you master that piece, actually the better it gets for you. So, one of the really great things that we recommend people do, is that they go to the personality hacker website and they take their genius style assessment.

If you’ve done that, there’s premium content on the INFJ or the perspectives harmony personality type that gives you all of this and really zooms in granular level and we were highly recommended if you’re an INJF, especially if you want to get to the next level of who you are and figure out how to deal with maybe some of the pain points that come along with picking up other people’s emotions.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah, it’s a leverage point for you. It’s going to feel scary to go to that place and grow, but if you go there and you begin to grow and your personality, it’s going to feel really good because you’re going to begin to understand how to create boundaries for yourself, how to grow and not let other people’s psychic garbage come in as much.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: We really believe that this could be really helpful for you if you’re an INFJ.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: So, please start with the assessment. What would you say is one of the things that most people wouldn’t know about an INFJ, a secret that you think people would be…you know, INFJ’s kind of know this, but other people would be like, oh, that’s interesting. I never thought of that as an INFJ. Or maybe they don’t know about themselves.

ANTONIA DODGE: Well, I would say that what we’ve been talking about, that’s something to keep under wraps. The fact that they know a lot of stuff about other people.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah.

ANTONIA DODGE: …including what the other person’s emotional experience. I think INFJ’s usually keep that to themselves, which is part of the pain points.

JOEL MARK WITT: So, you’re kind of sitting there, what are they really thinking?

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: …like they know something and they’re not letting you know that they know something about you is basically what you’re saying. They know stuff and it’s like, just say it.

ANTONIA DODGE: Well, I would say that most people don’t even know that they…that the INFJ knows this about them. They don’t recognize that the INFJ has access to a lot of information that even the INFJ themselves don’t know how they know. So, it ends up creating a lot of one sided relationships and I think that’s probably one of the biggest secrets that INFJ’s have.

Something they don’t really reveal is how many of the relationships are actually one sided and how much…That’s kind of dissatisfying, how much dissatisfaction they have in a lot of their relationships. So, feeling profoundly understood, oh my goodness, there’s no faster way to get to an INFJ’s heart than to sit down, listen, walk through their experience with them, as opposed to just dumping all your stuff on them, which is what they’re used to.

JOEL MARK WITT: Yeah, and if you listen to our full podcast on the INFJ, both Antonia and I had moms that were INFJ’s so we kind of have a special place in our heart…

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: …for the INFJ personality because our moms were INFJ’s…

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: …and we saw some of the struggles and some of the challenges and some of the celebration of the joy they experienced in life because of their personality type. We think it’s a beautiful personality type and if this is your type, let us know how things are going for you. Give us some feedback and kind of communicate. Let us know about your experience.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah.

JOEL MARK WITT: We’re very interested in it.

ANTONIA DODGE: Yeah, so thanks for joining us on this overview of the INFJ personality type of the perspectives harmony type in the genius system.

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Showing 4 comments
  • Martin
    Reply

    I just want to comment on INFJs being into tech, and the example of coding you gave. I have been working in the past as an editor and cameraman, and I must say it was tiring, if not damaging, in the long run, especially editing. INFJs should not be working in a field where they are isolated from other people, it’s a way to avoid their feeling function (I see the tech thing as xSTP), making decision for themselves (figuring what you need and want) and can lead to losing touch with the outside world.

    Thank you for the video, it was spot on!

  • Ellen mickelson
    Reply

    Being Infj is so painful! I hate being in pain when someone close to me is suffering. Without becoming desensitized I would like to know what kind of boundaries I can put up to save myself so much grief .☹️

  • Kate B
    Reply

    Something that came to mind when listening (as an INFJ)… It seems to be really difficult for people I’m close with to understand that as insightful as I am with others, often I’m clueless about myself. It’s been incredibly healing in my life as people in close relationships with me have begun acting to shine the light back on me. Even if they have to chase me around with the spotlight… 🙂

  • Jonathan
    Reply

    Your video made me smile more than once. :o) You’re right when you say that feeling deeply understood is a rare and deeply satisfying experience for an INFJ, if I may speak for my type at large. Having said that, I quite sure that I’m not an empath (yet, at least) because I don’t actually feel other people’s emotions as they’re feeling them, but perceiving other people’s mental states in an intellectual way takes up pretty much all of my energy when I’m around other people – as well as anticipating their expectations (another unhealthy behaviour, it would seem). I agree with what Martin says above, as well: I worked for a few years as a translator and editor, and it really burned me out. This was combined with working anything up to 20-hour days, because I had no boundaries. Turns out I’ve been running down the check-list of how not to be an INFJ. :oP But the emotional discomfort of setting boundaries is overwhelming, and I even feel quite deep discomfort after certain interactions that have apparently been positive. Clearly this state of affairs has quite deep roots in my own past, which needs to be dealt with. But, I wonder how many other INFJs have their Ni process dominated by fearful (if not entirely unfounded) imaginings as to how and when the world is going to collapse around their ears? I find it difficult to imagine how this function could even operate in a different way. (Sorry for the overshare, but this is the feedback I have to offer at the moment :o).

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