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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode Joel and Antonia answer a question about cognitive function exercises that can help you figure out your personality type.


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Showing 15 comments
  • G.M.

    Joel and Antonia, thanks so much.

    Richard, I’m so there. This has been my experience as well, and it’s absolutely maddening. I am, however, quite obsessed with finding out my true type, so no matter how angry I get and threaten to throw the whole system out, I ALWAYS come back.

    What’s also frustrating is the fact that I’ve been able to type all of my family and friends, they are absolutely content with their results, and the type descriptions seem to fit each pretty much like a glove. So, this is feedback to me that the system is valuable and effective. I find it ironic, in my case, that the one person most interested in using the system is the one person having the most difficulty with its use.:p

  • G.M.

    Thank you, Charis. I HAVE actually looked at ENFP, but disregarded it because of descriptions such as, “bubbly or Wildchild”. I can be quite serious actually, and I thought for a short time that I might be an NT. Temperament-wise, however, I do feel pretty confident that NF fits me.

    The fact that I’m perpetually diving down rabbit holes on this topic does seem to narrow my choices to INFP or ENFP. I have three very close introverted friends, ISTJ, INTP, INFP, and our way of presenting ourselves to the world is definitely different. In my opinion, the three though of different temperaments, seem much more alike than me. I basically “run the show”. I ask all the questions, I share my daily happenings, blah, blah, blah they sit and quietly listen, or not. By this logic, my answer SHOULD be an obvious – ENFP.

    Unfortunately, I can’t find closure in this either because of how serious I can get when I’m locked onto a particular topic of interest. I can go days barely noticing others around me, so lost in my head, I will sometimes walk into tables that have been in the same spot for years! Because of my comfort with being SO inside my head at times, I assumed I was an introvert. And because I’ve never personally met an INFJ, but had read they can be both introverted, yet very outwardly social, I assumed I was an INFJ. Sadly, those pants didn’t fit for very long either.

    Oh, and don’t get me started on my YouTube escapades – watching the “Guess What? I’m a ___!” videos. Ugh…Trying to match my type that way has all but driven me completely insane.

    So, I have question. I saw in a reply that either you or Antonia sent to someone stating:

    “Si (tertiary) = do you have to fight landing in a comfort zone and not pushing yourself”; ”

    “Fe (tertiary) = fight caring about your image and courting approval/ disapproval of others in order to present your truth”.

    Now, of course, because I am, after all, ME…these both resonate:0/. Perhaps, I’m alien. At any rate, could you tell me what Te (tertiary) might look like?

    I’m not sure if this will even help me, but it might, so any help you could offer (besides, suggesting I find a therapist) would be absolutely fabulous!


    • Charis Branson

      The beauty of the verification process is you don’t have to buy your Starter Kit once you are verified. We gift it to you! 🙂

      As for Te tertiary, This will show up when you are feeling defensive and it doesn’t feel very good to use it. Do you sometimes have the tendency to manipulate others to get what you want? Or when you feel out of control do you have a tendency to lash out violently, maybe by punching a wall or by slinging strong verbal insults?

      ENFPs have charisma and their co-pilot keeps them balanced with kindness and honesty. But if they choose to ignore that introverted process they can use those social skills to take advantage of others.

      Does that help?

      • G.M.

        Thank you, Charis! Yes, that was very helpful!

        I don’t think I tend to manipulate, I would say I tend to sling verbal insults, and as a woman, I’ve been known to stomp my foot for effect rather than punch a wall. Thankfully it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I’m as surprised by my reaction as the people in my line of fire.

        So, it looks like INFP (Authenticity/Exploration) might be it!! Oh, can it be true?

        • Charis Branson

          Glad it helped.

          Sounds like you are smarter than me. I have punched a wall or two in my wild and woolly youth.

          Here’s a podcast on INFPs:

          See if it resonates with you.

          • G.M.

            Well, sadly it does not really resonate. The idea of being so in touch with my feelings is quite mystifying.

            Though, in most cases, I believe, I know how I feel, I often seek outside assistance with my feelings to be certain that they actually “make sense”. For example, “I’m feeling this way about x,y,z does this make sense to you or am I overreacting?”.

            “Self-punishment” is also very foreign, I’m more inclined to toward gratification in order to cover up my worries about something – “I’ve just had a lousy day, don’t like myself today. Hey, let’s have something good to eat tonight.”

            I very much want to be understood, and believe people can understand if I clarify enough.

            Lastly,I’m pretty optimistic. When I’m frustrated I might lament that things won’t get done, but over all if someone comes to me with concerns, I usually try to look for the positive in their situation. If there isn’t one, I turn to the person with encouragement about their own strength to get through it. I had one lady actually get angry at me for smiling too much, she said, “Every time I see you, you have a smile on your face. Nobody is THAT happy all of the time!”. And she was right, I’m not happy ALL of the time, but I was then, so I just smiled wider. I suppose that wasn’t very charismatic.

            Charis, thank you again for all of your help. I’m going to keep trying for a while longer, but if I’m not successful, I’ll purchase the verification process discussed in the podcast.

            And come to think of it, when I was younger, I had been known to hit a wall or two, and once kicked a large hole in our apartment wall out of anger. Needless to say, management was not thrilled. Ha! I completely forgot about that :p

          • Charis Branson

            Ok, so you’re comment about using self-gratification to cover over stress really resonated with me. I do the exact same thing. “I’m stressed. Let’s Eat!” “I wanna celebrate! Let’s Eat!”

            I am an INFJ with Extraverted Sensing in my inferior position, behind the driver. You said you looked into INFJ and it didn’t resonate. Have you explored INTJ? Here’s a really good article describing that type:

            ENTJs and ENFJs have extraverted sensing in a tertiary position behind their copilot. Here are the Starter Kit purchase pages for both. Read the highlights and watch the youtube videos and see if either one of them fits.



          • G.M.

            Charis, thank you again for all of your help. I really appreciate it. I took your advice and delved a bit deeper into INTJ, ENTJ, and ENFJ, but those were not a fit either.

            The only thing in which I have 100% confidence is that I am an NF.

            To be frank, when I first began my study of MBTI, I typed as INFJ. But I think when I began to study MBTI, I was in a very stressed state of mind.

            I started studying MBTI and Jung, because I got tired of relationship misunderstandings. I tend to outwardly be a happy-go-lucky type of person, and inwardly, I know that being in a positive state of mind is very important to me.

            With people I’m just meeting, I can be very chipper, enthusiastic, I give compliments freely, I love to see people smile. I do this daily, with pretty much anyone I meet, cashiers in particular can be fun, seeing if I can turn a scowl into a smile by giving them a nice compliment.

            People who get to know me a bit better seem to enjoy this in me as well. I’ve been told by many that they love my “right-brained” attitude. Ok, so score!

            Problems arise, however, when inevitably, the person who enjoyed my “right-brained” attitude begins to treat me condescendingly, or when they get to know me better and find That I’m more free about expressing my true feelings on certain topics, and if I disagree with them that I’m not willing to be so happy go lucky as it pertains to that issue.

            Their reaction, of course and understandably, is a feeling of dismay – that who they thought they knew is a lie. The thing is, I am the same person, I love to try to keep a positive attitude, I am silly, I love to crawl around on the floor and act like a kid, play loud music and dance like no ones watching :p…ha! I could careless if they are watching. On the flipside of that coin, I resent that just because I can be so free that somehow that makes me some kind of an unknowing ditz.

            This happened to me enough that I felt I needed to prove to myself that I’m mature and intelligent, and just as capable of being serious as anyone else. So, I shut people out and began to consume as much information as I could on personality types, and in this process tested as INFJ. Initially, INFJ fit well, but I kept having doubts. I then found that I kept jumping through the other intuitive types as well. Every time I found one I thought fit, it would stick for maybe a day, then I’d find myself doubting my accuracy again, and move on to another type. Now that I think of it, it’s almost as if the constant searching is the most entertaining part of this process.

            I avoided ENFP because when I thought of ENFP’s, I thought of Robin Williams, but never considered any other archetypes. But now that I’ve watched a few YouTube videos on ENFP’s, it keeps coming back to me as a real possibility, at least more than any other type I’ve found on this journey.

            Also, authenticity is very important to me, whereas for some reason I can’t seem to fully grasp Harmony. If someone were to say, be “authentic”, I know exactly what that means to me. If someone were to say, “try to get everyone’s needs met”, I know I would ask, “Well, how am I supposed to do that?”

            Ok, so I’ve rambled enough, sorry about that. Not sure why, but I get the feeling as soon as I hit send, I’m going to want to take my guess of ENFP back, but so far, of all the types, (at this point in time, LOL)it does seem to fit.xD

            Thanks again, Charis!


            P.S. Regarding the Se and eating, I have to admit, for some reason even though I do like to get something to eat when I’m stressed, I tend to always eat the same things, not sure if this is Si or if I’m just boring as…:p

          • Charis Branson

            Hey G.M.! Okay. After this message I am inclined to agree with you. You definitely sound like an ENFP! Authenticity is the one function that can mirror a lot of other functions (I read that somewhere on here. Can’t remember where :/ ) Also, I have been around other ENFPs that do exactly what you described – act like a kid, enthusiastically engage with total strangers, give cashiers (or drive-thru people) a hard time, physically expressive, etc.

            If you don’t like thinking of Robin Williams as an ENFP, think of Joel. He’s an ENFP, and it sounds like you and he would have a lot in common. 😉

          • G.M.

            Yes, Joel is AWESOME! Robin Williams is great too (so sorry he’s gone), it’s just that I thought in order to be typed as ENFP, I should be closer to his level of “hyperactivity”. Of course, I neglected to consider that he was a professional comedian and actor, and that his public face would most likely be different than his private…duh:p.

            It will definitely take some time for me to accept this conclusion about my type. Damn this perpetual uncertainty! Getting your feedback helps though:o).

            Anyway, Charis, I could give you a ol’ big hug! You’ve been amazing!


  • G.M.

    P.S. I have seriously considered your Type Vertification product, and may have to go with it if I can’t find closure (Thank you for the link). What I planned on doing after I was able to confirm my type was purchase your Development Starter Kit, and from there, coaching.

  • Sri

    I’ve been MBTI-ed repeatedly over the years often by the coroprations by which I was employed. Test results have teeter-tottered between INTJ and INFJ, but the past three or four passes have come up INFJ, so I think I’ll stick with that. Dominant: Introverted IntuitionAuxilliary: Extraverted FeelingTertiary: Introverted ThinkingInferior: Extraverted SensingKinda pointless to argue the validity of the analysis for the most part, it describes me rather well I *am* systematic and intuitive. I *do* define and refine my priorities, but operate on an intuitive basis that is entirely spontaneous Suselogic.Dunno how uncanny my insight into people and situations is situational analysis is as much a skill as an art or a gift , and if one perceives without prejudice, the moment (or person) will very often reveal itself. I have learned to trust my instincts I don’t believe in a 6th sense, but if I let the standard 5 do their bits, I’m usually good. To borrow from Malcolm Gladwell, I blink . A lot.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the comment Sri! I just bought Gladwell’s Blink because you are the second person to bring it up today. I loved Outliers! So thanks for the reference. 🙂

      One of the keys to really discovering who you are is to explore the copilot (auxiliary) function and see how it makes you feel. If you are an INFJ, you will feel profound gratitude and happiness when you can accurately meet the needs of others and you love connecting with other people on a spiritual level. INFJs find offending others more distressing than offending themselves.

      If you are an INTJ, you will feel awesome when you get things accomplished, check things off the to-do list, and create systems that function effectively. You have an ability to place people in the rolls that best fit their strengths and don’t have a hard time making the tough calls when data and metrics clearly trump the human element.

      Which one of those sounds most like you?

  • Rob P.

    I too had quite a hard time in the beginning with type verification. In the end I had to let go of the behaviors and dive into the functions. Before, I was typing what I wanted to be, not really who I am; the functions that I desired to be better at. I believe that came from my carrer and my carrer mentor who is an ENTJ. In a way I was afraid of judging what I would find to be unworthy.
    Now I feel confident, even though when I read certain descriptions I find some of the “behaviors” to be things that go against personal values. But it’s because I weigh these descriptions first that I’m pointed towards IxFx. Once I kinda settled on Fi (Authenticity) I looked to see if Te (Effectiveness) was something that both I really wanted to do well and, if I’m being true to myself, stink at. Turns out that was a BIG YES! So in a way I typed myself based on my inferior 3yr old because it was so easy to see.
    Next I learned the difference between Si/Ne and Se/Ni and started to try to relate. I am overwhelmingly a kinesthetic learner; I simply have to do it if I want to learn it. I do pattern recognize and have many moments that are “ah ha” moments, but they are sparse and not all like my wife (INTJ) who seems to know what’s going to happen in any moment a week beforehand.
    While we all remember the past, I rarely use it to make a decision and I don’t explore the possibilities from reality in front of me, but yet enjoying living and experiencing the moment. So this leads me toward Se(Sensation)/Ni(Perspectives) and away from Si(Memory)/Ne(Exploration).
    To be fair, I also examined Fe/Ti. While I can understand Fe, the more I dove into it and was honest with myself, the more I realized that emotions and feeling we’re coming from inside of me, not from others around me. Ti is like an alien planet – I can make sense of it and I do like for things to be “accurate” but my world is much more of a warm subjective place than the frozen tundra that I see in introverted thinking.
    So, after all that, BOOM, I’m an ISFP. An ISFP that finished college in four years who only had 11 others in his class graduate on time with him. An ISFP that is outspoken and willing to share his opinions with anyone who wants to talk about them. An ISFP who lives in a world of other artists, and even though is a musician and performs, doesn’t view himself through the artist’s lens, but rather a teacher. And through teaching others music and how better to express themselves within an ensemble and pushing themselves to be better musicians and members, finds the core of what he feels to be his art.
    Don’t worry about the box. Be yourself and you will find who you are. I wish you the best success!

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