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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode Joel and Antonia answer a question about depression and personality test results.


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Showing 5 comments
  • Dustin Peck

    I am part of a facebook group made for ENFPs and INFJs. It is very interesting how well we all work together. I know the theory is that we are a power couple, but this group brings substance to that theory. I am an ENFP and my wife is INFJ. We are both psychology majors. We could spend hours analyzing ourselves. I also find myself drawn to INTJs. I wonder what it is about ENFPs and our obsession with the rare types.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the feedback, Dustin! Sounds like a great Facebook group. I have tried some INFJ groups in the past and found them obnoxious. But I think the ones I found were of a younger demographic. I will see if I can find the one you are talking about.

      As for why you resonate with INTJs and INFJs, you will probably find they resonate with you as well. People who are authentic are always going to attract introverted intuitives because they don’t have to invest a lot of mental real estate trying to figure you out. You don’t wear any masks. You are who you are. That is refreshing in a world where people often hide who they are.

      Also, in the car model, your 10 year old process (extraverted thinking/effectiveness) is the same as INTJs co-pilot. So, you are probably going to find some symbiosis with INTJs as you resonate with that cognitive process. As it is an extraverted process you are going to find it more appealing than your co-pilot process Authenticity, even though it isn’t a well developed part of you. That being said, INTJs have to consciously work at developing their Effectiveness co-pilot, which may also resonate with you.

      At any rate, those are the two things that came up for me as I was reading your post. Hopefully, it shines some light on your interpersonal relationships.


  • Andrea

    I wonder if this has happened to me. I first took an online MB test in high school and came out INFP. It was a time when I was pretty aware of myself and not overly stressed, even though it was high school! In college, I took the same online test and came out ISFJ, I think I was developing my Si and had to be organized so I thought I was a J. Then a few years later, I had a child and experienced some depression, and it was during this time that I took the “real” test and came out INFJ. I think in that time of depression, I was very dissatisfied with my real self, and wanted to be an ISFJ or INFJ. However, it has just been recently (like just a week ago), that I’ve been revisiting INFP, and it truly is like coming home. I’ve also been doing some work with the enneagram, and learning that I have strengths and it is ok to be myself.

    • Charis Branson

      Congratulations on finally finding your best fit type! There is nothing like that feeling you get when you finally come home.

  • Josh

    INTJ here. In response to Lori (albeit 9 months late) – I have a male INFJ roommate, and I think we both experience the same sort of “depression” that you described. Based on your wording, I’m going to assume that you are an INFJ and that your situation is similar enough to mine to be relatable.

    First, I concur with your statement that it doesn’t have to do with a negative self-image. To me, it’s just a constant tiredness that develops over a long period of time, with symptoms roughly similar to how other people describe depression. There are a couple other key differences, as well:

    1) It’s not caused primarily by a single (or small set of) traumatic event(s). Nor is it caused by you being misunderstood, but rather by you understanding when no one else does. While this certainly does cause nearly everyone in the world to misunderstand you, it’s more that it’s “lonely at the top” (or something to that effect). Not that you’re “better” than other people, but just that your particular gifting has set you apart from those around you.

    2) While I am also not a licensed counselor, and cannot make legally defendable recommendations of what you do with your life, I did want to offer some perspective (again, only based on the limited insight provided by your comments).

    Nothing against counselors, but they’re human, as well. When they encounter someone they don’t understand, they may have mental blocks that prevent them from realizing that they (and not the patient) are the one that’s misunderstanding the patient. In a way, their experience and/or training can become — in their own mind — an authoritive resource on counseling, and they may make a number of assumptions based on their experience with “the majority” that do not apply to people who aren’t part of the majority.

    While they may have a large set of tools at their disposal, some people have a tendency to just impose solutions for irrelevant problems because it’s their job to bring solutions (and it would look bad to admit they don’t understand or can’t readily help one of their patients). Supposing that’s the case with your counselor, you’re at a disadvantage because your ability to perspective shift and empathize may have you agreeing with some of their wrong assessments without fully realizing that they’re trying to counsel someone else (not the real you). [Not sure if that’s only an issue with INTJs, but thought it worth mentioning as an example.]

    Sounds like you spotted this with their “you must not like yourself” line, but hopefully you can find someone to talk with that can understand you. We are out here – but we’re probably at home trying to recover our energy, and trying to figure out why nobody in the world sees or understands things like we do.

    Best of luck.

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