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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about how to love yourself using the four Greek words for love.

In this podcast on how to love yourself you’ll find:

  • “The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short”. Abraham Maslow.
  • Falling in love with yourself is a lifelong romance.
  • As human beings, we have the capacity to solve complex problems, solve challenges and do extraordinary things. But why aren’t most of us doing this?
  • Our insecurities and lack of self-love prevents us from being at our best.
  • When we constantly focus on our problems, we tend to get stuck there, limiting our abilities as amazing human beings. It removes our ability to truly understand our capacity as human beings.
  • If we fell massively in love with ourselves and we no longer question whether or not we’re deserving, we would have the ability to understand and meet our full potential.
  • In some cultures, when you express how you truly love yourself, people will see you as self-centered and egocentric.
  • So what can you do to fall in love with yourself? Not just a personal development tool but a strategy for helping the bigger problems of humanity?
  • The 4 Greek definitions of love.
  • Storge. The love you have for family or anyone you’re genetically connected to. The reason why we have storge love for our family members is because we share DNA with them and from the very first single cell that transformed into a complex human being. We are basically one big human family. Nobody’s closer and more familiar with your DNA structure than yourself. So can you develop storge love for yourself? In addition, self-love in Storge means protecting your body – eating healthy, working out, etc.
  • Eros. Greek word for erotic love. This is the type of love we mostly see in our pop culture. So how do you develop Eros love for yourself? No matter what type of relationship we have as individuals, throughout our life, we are the one person that we’re travelling through life with. So developing romance with ourselves, falling in love with ourselves is an expression as of Eros love (taking yourself to romantic dates by making yourself happy and pampering yourself). Romancing yourself can be a really powerful experience of expressing love to yourself.
  • Philia. Friendship or brotherly love for a human is expressed in the friends we choose. It’s loving yourself as a friend. You are the only person who’s gonna go through life, so why not be your own friend throughout that experience?
  • Agape. Love that is unconditional. It’s about loving other people just because they’re people. It’s a deep sense of loving humanity. Other people also call this the “god “or a higher form of love. This form of love gives a sense of general well-being. It’s loving people simply because they exist.
  • When we’re talking about falling in love with ourselves, even when you feel that you’re unlovable and see yourself as a terrible human being, the Agape principle of love will allow you to love yourself. It will allow you to give space because it is based on principle not on any specific action you took or way of thinking. You love yourself because you exist.
  • Can you show yourself such extraordinary love that you’re abundant with it, you can’t help but share it with everyone else?
  • What are some of your disciplines? How do you make sure that you’re actively learning to fall in love with yourself? That you are actively keeping that self-love going even in tough times?

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  • Neil Bullen

    Hi Guys !

    First of all- Love your programme and the enthusiasm that you both exude!
    Second: you refer to the 70/30 split Sensory vs Intuitives – my theory based upon observation over 20 years is that due to ‘ blending ‘ the split is closer to 90/10- meaning that intuitive so only SEE 10 out of 100 as being like them. If this is so it appears to make ‘ finding the right partner ‘ even more of a challenge.


    Enjoy your day…….Neil

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the comment Neil! Interesting statistic. And rather depressing. You may be onto something though. All the more reason to make sure iNtuitives are given the permission they need to self-actualize. 🙂

  • Rachel

    It’s interesting to me to think of applying the five love languages to myself…

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the comment Rachel! I hope this has put you on the path toward showing love to yourself, first and foremost.

  • Liz

    I really loved this podcast because as a sappy INFJ love is a topic besides God that I obsess about. I have found a way for me to show myself love is to walk away when I’m not being treated nicely…even if I can relate to the person. Setting boundaries. I also think that being confident about my abilities and not hiding if it makes people uncomfortable is a step I am learning to take in self love. Of course I’m considerate but I can’t hold myself back. All the others like eating healthy, working out and “dating” myself are great suggestions that I’m currently working on. I think in the end one love wouldn’t be complete without the other. Love your podcast, I tell every one about you guys and bought the personal development package. Don’t worry not out sourcing my thinking 😉 accumulating data for sure though.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the feedback, Liz! And congratulations on setting healthy boundaries. 🙂

  • Sonya

    This was brilliant! Loved it. There was so much there to consider in loving ourselves at each of the four levels of love.

    I live in Western Australia and have recently found your site, which I find really interesting. I have a Perspectives/Harmony type of mind wiring (at least I think I have, but I often wonder if I have Authenticity/Exploration). My story is that I have spent a lot of the last year being treated for breast cancer and am trying to find a way to live as the best version of myself. I am currently trying to watch myself as I live the world and see how I respond to various situations.

  • Leonard

    ‘I am the only person at the beginning of my life and I am the only person at the end of my life’. The realization of this is profound. Without self love of all types we won’t be able to engage with life. Thanks so much for the podcast.

    • Charis Branson

      Great quote, Leonard! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  • Tamagochi (INFJ)

    While listening to your podcast I have remembered a quote: to love someone is to see the best possible image that person can be. Might not be very practical in common situations, but when applied to self-love makes a lot of sense.

    • Charis Branson

      So true, Tamagochi! Thanks for sharing that quote. 🙂

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