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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type.

In this podcast on the ENFP personality type you’ll find:

 

 

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Showing 59 comments
  • Wulfex
    Reply

    OMG… Antonia and I both have sniper fantasies? I thought I was the only one picking out buildings on a bad day and plotting out all of my targets while avoiding the law and fleeing the country! It would be interesting to dissect all the types and their little fantasies like this and I wonder what differs between mine (an INFP) and Antonia’s sniper fantasy.

    Sorry, this isn’t adding to the ENFP discussion, just wanted to share.

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      In mine I’m highly trained and infinitely patient. Like, when they finally locate where the shots came from there are empty water bottles (except for the ones filled with urine) and protein bar wrappers everywhere but no shells (cause I’m too careful to leave those behind). I fly all over the world choosing my targets using a profile of psychopathy and a proprietary algorithm based upon harm done, its reach and if there is any possibility for rehabilitation.

      It’s mostly a vigilante fantasy, but I’m pretty wussy so I end up being a sniper due to my lack of fighting prowess and string beany arms.

      -A-

      p.s. This is not something I’m proud of, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t spent some time there in my mind grapes. 😛

    • Ami
      Reply

      This is so true it hurts. I was so flighty as a kid and borderline adhd(how I feel about it anyway). I think what Antonia said is right, how the F is a kinesthetic thing, connecting to the nerve system or the sensation in your body is another way to improve Fi.

  • Rachel
    Reply

    Really interesting, thanks for this podcast.

    My dad is an ENFP, and so much of this sounds like him. Optimism, seeing people as their best, seeing opportunities everywhere… That part at the end talking about not being able to describe why you think something until it comes together a few hours later, and being out argued by your ENTP wife–that’s EXACTLY him.

    Some of it resonates with me as an INTP as well, probably because of my fairly high Exploration. But also, I think, because my dad had such a big influence on me growing up, that it’s hard not to see the optimism, opportunities, and adventure of life, as well as the best part of the people around me.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment Rachel! Having an ENFP father must have made your childhood exciting!

  • suz
    Reply

    My husband is ENFP, and I’m INFP so we have the same dominant and auxiliary functions but in reverse, and I’d love to know more about how that difference manifests itself because he can be a complete mystery to me at times!

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      That’s an interesting question, Suz! We might make that a subject of a PHQ. Thanks!

  • Karen
    Reply

    I have been obsessed with Myers Briggs and all things personality lately, and come up all over the place with tests. (It got so that I was totally skewing the results unconsciously to align with whatever type I was thinking I was at the time)

    BUT….after hearing this podcast about ENFP – I found my answer. I am on the shyer side and like doing things on my own a lot so I always thought I was an introvert. Reading the book: Personality Type, an Owner’s manual, and doing that test – started me thinking about the possibility of me being extroverted. Hearing this podcast I am now confirmed. Thanks!
    – BTW – I filled out your questionaire incorrectly then – and responded as an INFP for that. Sorry.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      No worries, Karen! We are just glad you finally found your type. I was perusing Pinterest this morning and looking for ENFP pins. I noticed one that said ENFPs are the most introverted of the extraverts. Thay may explain why you thought you were an introvert for so long.

      Thanks for your comment!

  • Ryan
    Reply

    Heya,

    So I’m an INTJ and am surrounded by ENFP’s…proverbially vomiting rainbows of verbalage onto my head 🙂

    I love hanging around with this personality type as they bring out another side to myself that is exciting.

    And I loved this episode so thank you!

    Can I make a request that you guys consider a podcast on INTJ’s and how to become the best versions of our personality types…lord knows we need it haha

    And I mean that as regards to going from point A- an unsightly, starter INTJ if you will, to a well balanced, integrated and confident INTJ that can truly contribute their best to the world… Which would be awesome to everyone.

    Would love to hear back from you guys and thank you. 😉

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      INTJ week is coming up, so we’ll be doing a long form podcast on your type soon. 🙂

      -A-

  • Randy Caba
    Reply

    Awesome. I grew up near Portland and used to commute several times per week through the Columbia River Gorge, an absolutely gorgeous part of planet earth’s personality 🙂

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Agreed Randy! I’m from Oregon too and the drive through the Gorge is one of my favorites. Although the wind can get pretty epic. 😉

      • Randy Caba
        Reply

        Wow, Charis! This is like a webby Oregonian reunion. And yes, knock-down winds, snow banks high as buildings, and out of the blue ice storms can be treacherous in The Gorge. Yet the amazing history, graceful wildlife, spring new growth and coloring autumn leaves, the sheer cliffs and the mighty Columbia River are absolutely epic. Much like some of the ENFJs I’ve known… INFJs too 😉 Love the podcasts!

        • Randy Caba
          Reply

          Meant to say ENFPs (no offense ENFJs). I’m pretty certain I was married to an ENFP once upon a time. Great lady.

  • Judy
    Reply

    Thank you for this. I am wondering – do you think an insecure enfp might confuse themselves for an infp?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Possibly. Why do you ask? What’s your experience?

      • Robert
        Reply

        I think so! I’m an ENFP to the core, but earlier in my life I would test out as an INFP because I would think “no one likes being around me, I just want to be alone” but after answering honestly and just leaving my fear of rejection, I tested as a ENFP and I’ve done it like over a 20 times and still… ENFP

        • Joel Mark Witt
          Reply

          Yeah. I had a similar experience when I was younger. I would shy away from others thinking that they didn’t like me. I think it’s a challenge for us as Intuitive types. And insecurity can also creep up – especially in our youth. Thanks for the comment Robert.

  • Jusk
    Reply

    Thank you for exploring these personalities! As an ENFP, so many of these aspects hit home. By hearing other ENFP’s struggles, it has helped me identify my own struggles. Many times I haven’t been able to target why I struggle at certain homework’s assignments, yet excel at assignments that the majority of the class dislikes. I would LOVE to hear how successful ENFP’s have made it; what career they have gotten the most satisfaction out of– is it WHO you are working for that matters most (manager/leadership type) or is it the type of work you are doing (sales, marketing, teaching ect.)?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Jusk for the comment/question.

      How does your inner wisdom answer your question? If you knew the answer – what would it be?

  • A
    Reply

    How can I download a podcast to a portable device so that I can lstn in my car?

  • Madison
    Reply

    This podcast was amazing. My boyfriend of five years is an ENFP, and after listening I understand his intricacies and wiring so much better. Which is saying something, because I’ve done a whole lot of research to try to figure him out. 😛
    I’m an INTJ; I’d love to hear something like this on my type as well

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Hey Madison. Thanks for the comment. We have an article that Antonia wrote for INTJs already:
      http://www.personalityhacker.com/intj-personality-type

      We will be recording a podcast on INTJs in the next few weeks… stay tuned.

    • Katy
      Reply

      My husband is an ENFP and I’m an INTJ – I also have done a lot of work trying to figure him out! PHacker has been a lifesaver for our marriage. Just having the language to talk about our differences has been huge. I think it’s been especially important for my husband to hear that he’s now weird, that his struggles are common for people who think like him. Did your boyfriend have a similar sense of relief when hearing about the ENFP type?

  • Timothy
    Reply

    This was an amazing and insightful podcast this week (mostly because I’m an ENFP lol). So much of it (if not, all of it) rang true to me and my experiences. My INFJ SO already has taken a lot of time to understand me, but I might ask her to do me a favor and listen to this episode when we’re in the car together!

    But this was really an invaluable episode — I felt like I read the cliffsnotes of my life! Thank you for all of the work you guys do for the podcast and this site! I’ve been listening for some time now! I’ll be sure to leave a review on iTunes!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Timothy for sharing your feedback. Help us spread the word to people who are also interested in personal development. I hope your SO will enjoy hearing about you 🙂

    • Richard Dacres
      Reply

      Thank you so much really love the pod-cast related to so much of what has been mentioned. I am an ENFT. Been saying for years that I’m a walking contradiction polar opposite for everything, and rarely miss a trick. Tented to spot people agendas pick up on things which other tented not to. Some say I’m honest to a fault, but to be honest with myself this does phase me too much, because it come from a good genuine place. Really enjoyed it thanks again to both of you will be looking forward to hearing more insight about this topic. 🙂

  • Evelyn Baker
    Reply

    I really enjoyed this podcast. I am an ENFP and it has been enlightening. I can relate to the sniping fantasy but mine is verbal. Since I have the extroverted intuitive skills, I can naturally put together people’s weakspots. If hurt by them I sometimes fantasize about taking them down by attacking those spots. It’s dreadful! Fortunately that goes against my core value of fairplay. So I don’t do it. But I can feel the power to do much damage. I feel this is my darkest part.
    Question: the 10 year old, is this what creates our impulsiveness?
    The three year old, I’ve spent some miserable years there. Coming out of it now. I’m seeing possibilities again! Wow, it feels good. I think I have been checking in with my authentic self more. I’m planning on making a list of my core values also.
    I appreciate you giving direction on the wiring and not just the behaviour and “possibilities” of growth too!!
    Eve

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment Evelyn! I can see how the 10 Year Old (we call it “Effectiveness”) could be responsible for impulsiveness. In its immature place, Effectiveness likes to push to make things happen. “What works” at any cost.

  • Trina B.
    Reply

    I smiled and laughed through some of this because I have been in similar situations. Now I ask for more of what I want and let people know what i”m thinking when I get into situations like the the mount hood thing. I find that it heads off friction and my being seen as indecisive when I’m just trying to be considerate of everyone.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks Trina! I’m glad you have found a way to communicate your needs.

  • Stacy Parker
    Reply

    I am a ENFP. This podcast really hit home in all aspects. I am a mature ENFP. I separate the behaviors from the person and I stay away from judgment. I have learned to step back and spend time thinking. Not just on the yes or no, but I look at if I can handle (critical thinking) the negative road that I may encounter in that decision. The hardest part about being a mature ENFP is the patience (little bites at a time) speaking the truth of a solution for others in your life, because you can clearly see the behaviors. It is frustrating when you see every ones behaviors, how they fit together for the outcome of where you are standing, yet each of them can only come from their subjective place. As far as jobs for ENFP beyond performance art, there are many professions: counselors, psychiatrist, advocacy, judges, teachers, writers etc. I worked for the Department of Corrections for 10 years, sex offenders for 5 years, Advocacy for 20 plus years and have the goal of a masters in Behavioral Science. I am good at anything I try. ENFP’s need to have an awareness that being good at whatever you try, can intimidate others and send a message of perfectionism. ENFP’s can also get stuck in the perfectionism. I really appreciate the saying out loud and affirming the immature and mature ENFP. People know when they are genuinely being heard, and connected to, and you can unknowingly place a target on yourself because of this. ENFP’s also have dark places. Domestic Violence brings out that dark place in me. I have worked with those on the antisocial personality spectrum. Sociopaths, psychopaths, bipolar, etc. There is an opportunity to connect and walk that individual towards accountability. There is also the reality of taking off the positive glasses, knowing that your hand extended has been pushed away, and you HAVE to let that person hit the wall, sink to the bottom, and walk away. People do not engage change in behaviors until through significant pain and hatred of that pain, they will do whatever it takes to make that pain stop. I encourage all ENFP’s to start with knowing and living with boundaries, transparency, responsibility and accountability. Ask yourself while feeling another’s experience, where does the accountability lay? (not with you). The rule of advocacy is “I do not do for, but with. The first step is not mine”. It is okay to refer, rather than absorb. It is okay to empathize, that does not mean accountability. ENFP’s will get frustrated with others who get “stuck” in their subjective. Seeing the big picture does not mean you must “fix” it. The challenge is seeing, and not fixing, or attempting to fix. You decide your involvement, you are accountable to yourself, to own your no, and not feel guilty for that no.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment, Stacy! We appreciate your perspective. 🙂

  • Xeres
    Reply

    I (INFJ) appreciate this. This will help me be better at supporting a lot of the ENFPs have in my life. My mom, and some of my closest friends are ENFPs.

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Glad you found the podcast helpful in understanding all the ENFPs in your life Xeres.

  • Ralph
    Reply

    I’ve noticed me (ENFP) and my friend (ESFP) have a lot of similarities. We tend to think about the same things. Catching each other, when explaining an idea, and right after saying, “I was thinking the same thing!”. I looked further into this and noticed that the ENFP and ESFP both have Fi and Te as their second and third primary functions. And, I get along really well with my friend, especially when I get into deep conversations with him. It feels as though we have the same issues when it comes to choosing a career and relationships. Fulfilling our value system and thinking similarly like, “Is this the right thing to do?”, “Will what I’m doing make me happy?”. What my question is, will the advice for the ENFP, (using the co-pilot fi, rather than te), also apply to the ESFP?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Yep. You got it. The growth advice is the same for both ENFPs and ESFPs. You may need to do several things differently based on your perceiving differences – but in general terms you can often support each other in your growth process.

  • Paul
    Reply

    I find understanding/discovering the authenticity very difficult. I’m trying to really understand myself and discover what my purpose is. My mind is very focused upon money and the lack of it. I feel like my drive is for money and materialistic things but also aware it won’t solve problems. How would you advise best getting to work on values, authenticity and discovering the true self? Thanks, and great website 🙂

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      One of the best questions I start with is this…

      “What are you NOT willing to admit to yourself right now?”

  • Aleah
    Reply

    My nearest and dearest friend is an ENFP and she is so magical to me! (I’m an ESTJ.) I loved listening to this episode to learn more about her heart and what is driving her. I shared several quotes from this episode and it sparked some very meaningful conversations for us and I know it helped her feel less alone in the world! I so appreciate how you encourage people to dive deep into their strengths and bring those unashamedly as superpowers into the world. That is 100% how I see her, so I’m thankful for an “impartial” source to point her to to show her that it’s not just my love for her that’s shining out when I tell her how awesome she is 😀

  • Haavard
    Reply

    Wow… I would never have expected journaling to have such a profound effect on the Authenticity process. Amazing way to get a sense of direction and purpose. Thanks to Antonia and Joel for inspiring podcasts and useful tips. Excited to watch for trends and patters that come up during the next months. For types who have a lot of stuff going on in their head, what an amazing way to attain some clarity and go from “mind full” to “mindful”. Thanks a lot!

  • ellen
    Reply

    Really like your podcast .. though just the comment about feelings verses emotions towards the end.

    I know there is lot of slippage re the words and I agree with the general advice and of course , we can all frame things how we want. However, i do prefer the words FEELING and emotion defined the other way around for quite a few reason.

    While you probably have you own system of naming and organizing the functions, obviously if wear are talking ENFP etc it is MBTI influenced. Reading various schools of MBTI and understanding the FEELING function as a rational process of valuing ( not emotional reaction) has been crucial to me, and this was how Jung originally used Feeling- .

    Therefore, I do think something gets lost when emotion and feeling are swapped around when discussing enfp etc. Many other types in my experience of more obviously ’emotional’ than people with feeling high in their stack and developed. Therefore , it seems to be sticking with FEELING as the deeper sense and emotion as the transitory is more in line with all of this and less confusing.

    Also, FEELING in quite a bit of philosophical literature relates more to trans personal states like beauty, empowerment etc. and perhaps FELT sense ( in combination with sensation). Of course it’s a vexed area of definition which is why i always like Jungs clarity on it.

    As an mature ENFP, understanding all this distinctions has been crucial and identifying the felt sense around the values ( like when you were talking about embodiment).

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Ellen for the feedback and deeper dive into your perspective on this.

  • Judi
    Reply

    As an ENFP, this podcast really resonated with me. I’ve had trouble in the past identifying my type because I’m often not as outgoing as typical ENFPs. As I listened to you talking, I remembered that I used to be much more outgoing and realized that a lot of my reluctance to engage is a defense mechanism to protect myself from “emotional leeches.” There have been many people in my life who have glommed onto me because they said I made them feel good – made them laugh – made them feel peaceful – etc. All good things but it was always about what I could give them not about what I needed. Part of my journey into expressing myself fully is to figure out how to take down my defenses when appropriate to let the real me shine through. Here’s to continued growth!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Judi for the comment. Sounds like you are on the right track as an ENFP. I was way more outgoing when I was younger. I’ve gotten into my introverted Authenticity (Fi) process more as an adult. Now when I’m outgoing, it’s less to please others or perform and more about authentically expressing myself in an outward way.

  • Stefan
    Reply

    I need help…. I need help so much. I am a male ENFP at the end of his energy. After 7 years of overthinking everything again and again, not making ANY decissions, I was triggered by your facebook group. I listend to podcast 0086 from “Personality Hackers”and my whole problem (one of the main problems) was captured in minute 28/29 of that podcast …. (thinking and analysing things over and over). It felt so much as a relieve that tears kept on coming for about 30 minutes, But I do not have the energy to go on any longer. I hate hate hate this part of myself and it kills me. It kills me literally.

    But somebody please please please …. what is ‘the magic trick’ to get out of this? My partner just left me last week because she can not deal with it any longer, my business is about to collapse because of this, my kids are affected by my whole state of mind…. I do not want to end up like this. All that the ENFP makes so beautifull in its enthousism, creativity and endless energy is coming to me in the complete negative way. It kills me.

    How, how how do I get out of this whole proces of negativism and not making MY decissions, rather then pleasing everyone. I am SOOOO much looking for my internal compas again. I lost it…. Iost it all and I am really about to give up…. Where is my compas and how can I calibrate it again?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Stefan. It sucks that you are having this experience. If you were sitting down to coffee with me (a fellow ENFP)… I would ask you…

      “What do you NOT want to admit right now?”

      Get real honest with yourself. This is how you find your internal compass.

      There are hard identity truths that your true self knows. So start asking and get honest. It’s going to be hard work – but I bet you’ve got it in you.

      This podcast may help:
      http://www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0111-purpose-mapping-with-craig-filek

  • Iris
    Reply

    Thank you so much for this podcast. I agree with everything said and i thought i was alone in all of this or that there was something wrong with me. Like, Why do i start projects and never finish? Why do i have this sense of empathy for other people? Why am i so in touch with my emotions? Is it weird to be this positive? Should i follow my gut?
    I’m currently in a very difficult situation because i accepted a job that i will start in 3 days and i don’t feel it’s right in my gut. I’m going nuts because i dont want to make that call saying “sorry i cant…” and it’s so difficult for me to tell a white lie. But this podcast has helped me understand that i can’t go through with this decision. Thank you again. God bless~

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      You are not alone. Glad you are courageous enough to follow your inner wisdom with the new job. Good for you Iris.

  • Marcy
    Reply

    I’m grateful for this podcast. As an ENFP, I can completely relate to having trouble with making decisions. I often find in “my gut” I know the answer but I don’t listen to my gut because I’m afraid of either hurting someone else or that I don’t REALLY know what I want. I seem to especially go through this when it comes to intimate relationships. I often will enter into a relationships or stay in relationships even if I know they aren’t right for me. I have a lot of trouble disappointing someone else or believing I know what is right for me. Any advice for this ENFP?!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Why are you willing to disappoint yourself? Why do you have to “take the hit?”

      It’s good to put others first – but why do you seem to find yourself putting YOU second? Why are you willing to disappoint the only person that will be there until the day you die… YOU?

      My advice would be to work on your own worth as a person. Do you deserve to have your inner wisdom honored? Do you deserve disappointment from yourself?

  • Monica Tebbutt
    Reply

    Wow loving the new language to describe my MBTI functions. Have been exposed to the MBTI type processing for the last 16 years as part of building project teams etc but this has just given me a whole new level of understanding of how I operate. I am so much the butterfly ENFP

    It validates exactly how I have operated all my life. My gut always steers me right. Absolutely inspired now. Can’t wait to explore some more

  • Carlos Castanho
    Reply

    Thank you. The “What emotion you want to create?” question did it for me. That question alone showed me everything I have been sleeping on.

  • Anna
    Reply

    Guys, I’m an ENFP and I’ve got to say this felt spot on. I absolutely loved listening to your views that were so well articulated, and encouraged by the positive dynamic you have together. I work as a designer for a marketing agency that works with charity clients. I’ve started to see the job of the creative team (my team) is to work as emotional conduits of the stories that fuel the NGOs we work for – each of us specialising in different media (I think most of the others are infps). My first job was for a big tech company where constant (shiny) innovation sparked my enthusiasm, but it was around the time where online activism seemed to be even more groundbreaking, so I followed that calling. So learning about ‘Authenticity’ has really given me a retrospective appreciation for the path I have taken. My partner and best friend are INTPs, with many INTJs around too. I appreciate them all, but I definitely understand having them need logical explanations with my arguments, and it really has made me doubt myself at times. Will definitely take on your advice with asking for time to map out that intuitive journey, although the ones I know well have pretty much figured that out!

  • Louise
    Reply

    I am an ENFP and definitely resonated with the strengths and challenges of being that personality. I have always been driven by exploration (LOVE that term). However, for a long time I would find myself in commitments that didn’t fit (work, relationships, etc.) and feel bad when I realized they weren’t working for me any more. I DO value loyalty, so that conflicted with changing my position once I got more information/data. Luckily, that “phase” is over and I have learned to slow down and take the time to be authentic. For me as an extroverted “doer”, turning inward and slowing down initially felt like “swimming in glue” but it has allowed me to develop my co-pilot Authenticity…the PERFECT copilot for my Exploring! Not skipping straight to EFFICIENCY (due to impatience, frustration, lack of self compassion) has changed my life to one of MUCH more fulfillment and joy. I just didn’t have those words in the past…just knew I needed to do something different if I wanted different results and found a great life coach/counselor. I also totally relate to what you call our Blind Spot…especially when I am sick. Finally, I agree that we ENFPs want to embody something that we find deeply meaningful and authentic. I am 60 now and wish that anyone younger, wondering why they need to slow down and develop authenticity finds this encouraging of their process!!! I have found it to be a very joyful way to live, now that I respect and understand where I am coming from. I have respect for other’s viewpoints, but no apologies, just gratitude! I am looking forward to learning more from personality hacker. Thank you all for doing this work!!!

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