Download Episode Here right click link and select “Save Link As…”

In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the ESFP personality type.

In this podcast on the ESFP personality type you’ll find:

ESFP – Sensation/Authenticity in the genius system

ESFPs get a bad rap in Myers-Briggs communities because it is easy to dismiss them as two-dimensional or flighty.

Car Model

The driver process is Extraverted Sensing (Se), which we have nicknamed “Sensation.”

Sensation is a perceiving or learning process and it is how they take in information.

Sensation podcast

Sensation is a real time interactive experience with the world around you using your senses.

All of us have this capacity, but as a driver it means it is super charged. All senses are heightened.  

ESFPs don’t miss a thing. Crazy observant.

Very sensual. Athletic. Indulgent.

They like to be entertained and they like to be entertaining.

They may not get taken seriously because they show up so playfully.

The co-pilot is Introverted Feeling (Fi), which we have nicknamed “Authenticity.”

Fi is incredibly deep, highly introspective and more in touch with the emotional state.

The more an ESFP develops self and learns to understand who they are and what their convictions are the deeper they become as people.

There is a part of them that wants to go inside and be introspective.

ESFPs are very in touch with their bodies and they use their bodies as an instrument to determine what feels right or wrong.

They have a superpower for helping the world get in touch with the kinesthetic abilities of our bodies.

Fearless. Effortless physically.

We get a lot of benefit from ESFPs – lots of performers, comedians, athletes, etc. They help us understand what is possible in regards to the physical pursuits.

Not a lot of narrative to their learning initially, they are just interested in experiencing something fully, in the present. Initially it is just about the experience.

People can superimpose their stories upon why an ESFP is doing something and that can be hurtful to the ESFP because their intent wasn’t based upon any narrative. They are just eager to experience.

Their copilot of Authenticity (Fi) asks what feels right to the individual. What feels good – kinesthetically, personally, emotionally? What feels ethically right, or morally right?

Fi helps them ask if they are showing up the way they want. If they are giving the impression they want.

ESFPs say they love the feeling of falling in love, but once the relationship begins things become humdrum and they get bored and want to find that initial thrill again.

So they need to shift the question from what feels good to what feels right. This will extend the timeline to move past the humdrum spots and find the potential in the future.

ESFPs have a weird relationship with approval, so they often outsource their values to other people and get stuck adhering to values that aren’t authentic to them.

ESFPs need to ask themselves:

  1. What is it in your life that you are doing that is unacceptable to you?
  2. What is the life you want to be living?
  3. What are you not giving yourself permission to do that is having you ignore other values that are much closer to who you are?

Make sure that all of your decisions in your life (job, paradigm, relationships, etc) are resonating with the core of your being, or you will find yourself doing things that you aren’t proud of just to survive.

ESFPs 10-year-old process is Extraverted Thinking (Te), which we have nicknamed “Effectiveness.”

ESFPs have a tendency to skip their copilot and go to their 10 year old, another extraverted process.

Fi is a slow process. It is introverted. It takes meditative thought to know what feels right.

Te gives the ability to make quick decisions on info. But the decisions aren’t going to be very sophisticated because Te has the maturity of a 10 year old.

The true growth for ESFPs is getting in touch w/ authenticity. Turn off video games, media, sensory experiences and get in touch with how you resonate with things.

The world loves Te, so there’s a lot of encouragement to go to that process.

ESFPs have to fight that if they are neglecting Fi in behalf of Te.

If you aren’t neglecting Fi, then Te can be a very effective helper.

One of the stereotypes around ESFPs is their playful nature, yet they are hard workers. Se married to Te will work till they collapse. Physical work. An ESFP desk jockey will be miserable.

ESFPs have more stamina than most people.

One challenge they have is in saving and planning for the future

The 3-year-old process is Introverted Intuition (Ni), which we have nicknamed “Perspectives.”

Ni is about future pacing – the very opposite of Se.

A lot of survey results indicated that future pacing was a struggle. Planning more than 3 weeks ahead. Saving money.

When we are talking about an area that is a blind spot we need to outsource what we are struggling with. Call in other people to help.

We are influenced by the three year old in ways we can’t see. For ESFPs the Ni can be a source of fear. Paranoia. Conspiracy. Fears of Betrayal. Not necessarily legitimate fears.

Get out of that paranoid space and get back into sensation. Verify the legitimacy. If there’s no reason to fear the future then don’t worry about it.

Give your 3 yr old some attention by doing meditation. Some body builder ESFPs will actually enter a meditative state while working out.

Allow yourself to enjoy harmless intuitive pursuits, like daily horoscopes, crystal healing.

Interpreting people’s body language is a great combo of Se and Ni.

ESFPs are often labeled shallow, but the world will see their depth if they get into the Authenticity process.

All of us have a vetting process to determine whether or not we want to be intimate with people. ESFPs are looking for playmates. Then they will allow people to see their depth.

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Subscribe with iTunes
Non iTunes Link
Download The Android App
Subscribe on Soundcloud
Subscribe with Stitcher

If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!

Want to learn more?

Discover Your Personal Genius

free-personality-test-myers-briggs-2

We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…

Showing 17 comments
  • Authentic
    Reply

    Thank you!!!! I loved this! I resonated with so much of it. I’m thankful I have been forced to face my authenticity co-poliet on more than one occasion when I had to stop caring what people think of me and really be the real me. It’s scary and hard but so much freedom comes from it. I was wondering what type you recommend that has an easier time in relationships with esfp. Obviously the playmate thing is huge but in your opinion what other type would compliment an esfp in a healthy way but naturally meet each others needs.

    I am in a relationship now with an infj and I realize that my 3 year old makes for his biggest strength. Which is why we have so much conflict. We are speaking different languages. Obviously this can compliment each other if we allow it too but unfortunately it’s not turning out that way. As an esfp my biggest goal in life is love. It is what I desire the most. I think that’s why it’s frustrating I feel I keep failing at it even though I try to show up authentically with my partners. But it feels like they just want to change everything about me and I used to allow them too because I wanted to please them but now I am stepping into knowing more who I am and what I have to offer authentically. Thanks for all you do you guys xo

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment Authentic! We notice relationships run into conflict when they don’t share the N/S and P/J dichotomies. N/S impacts our communication style. P/J impacts our organization style. They are better shared. Although relationships do succeed when they are not shared if both partners are set upon growth and mutual understanding.

      Since most relationships need some sort of polarity, we find the E/I and T/F dichotomies can be opposed with little difficulty.

      So, with this basic model in mind, the ideal relationship for you would be an ISTP. But, this in no way takes in consideration individuals and their levels of growth. We each need to answer for our own needs and desires.

  • rc
    Reply

    INTJ here. I was about to request one of these on ESFPs- though its quite unlikely they’d be online long enough to find it. Apart from the Socionics duality and the MBTI hierarchy, why do INTJs become obsessed with ESFPs? Is it necessarily a short term attraction? Do you think(of course everyone is different but better probabilities can exist) they can keep up with the INTJ Ni and be a good foil?

    That aside, thanks a ton for all the material.

    • Authentic
      Reply

      Hey now RC I am an ESFP and I eat up this kind of info. I am online looking it up A LOT. I am constantly on the search to understand myself and others including INTJ’s especially. I have a best friend who is one and a had a crush on one so I researched them heavily. I think there is a difference between evolved ESFP’s who are seeking growth in their inner world. Maybe you would do well with one of those. I think the INTJ thing could work if both were in that mindset. I am fascinated myself with INTJ’s there is some sort of polarity thing going on.

    • Randy Caba
      Reply

      Holy smokes – Personality Hacker knocked it out of the park! One of my best friends is a retired ESFP. We have a blast together despite me being younger and his complete opposite, an INTJ. And our occasional head bumping is almost always on the field of planning-budgeting or pleasure excesses and their consequences. But it doesn’t matter where we go, somebody knows him and that’s where the social party begins … everywhere! He’s like the local warm but fast talking-and-walking comedic celebrity. Slowing down and using authenticity are definitely uncomfortable places for him to visit. But if you wanna let loose, be entertained and party hardy, I dare anyone to step inside his arena. Because nobody owns it like he, LOL!

      • Charis Branson
        Reply

        Ha! Thanks Randy! It sounds like all of us need such a friend.

    • Lw
      Reply

      I think you have an interesting question on compatibility but I also think you’ve got a few inherently typist assumptions in the language you are using, particularly in the dig towards their attention span and the question as to whether esfps, as a type, could ‘keep up’ with intjs. Perhaps you thought it would be funny, but it is important to understand not just the concepts you communicate but also the way you which you communicate them, especially because a large part of this podcast was talking about how a lot of people seem not to take esfps seriously.

      • Authentic
        Reply

        Word LW! Amen!!!!

    • David
      Reply

      INTJ weakest functions, Se, Fi, are ESFP strongest ones. The more INTJ spend around ESFP the more they get to know and understand those weaker functions and in a way better understand themselves.

    • Zurk
      Reply

      ESFPs and INTJs use the same exact cognitive functions, but in reverse order!

  • Sarah Turco
    Reply

    I’m an INFP writing an ESFP main character at the moment. I love ESFPs and I really want to do justice to that type by creating an accurate character. This really helped! I was also very intrigued by the concept of first points of entry/vetting processes and how we each have a way of testing the people around us. I was wondering if you could maybe talk about what these are for all the types.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for your comment Sarah! I think it would be hard to guess at every types vetting process because, I imagine, it is fairly subjective in most cases.

      Maybe we can address this in the Intuitive Awakening group on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1066580883382024/

  • Stephen
    Reply

    After listening to this, I am realized that my best friend is an ESFP (I’m an ENTP)! Whenever I go somewhere with him, there is almost always at least one person who knows him, and he really is like a walking party haha. I also know at least a couple of other female ESFPs who are really great people. This type really is one of my favorites (I’m personally biased towards EPs haha) because they have a tendency to balance me out by keeping me grounded in reality and inspiring inward warmth. They aren’t shallow at all. It’s interesting how we struggle with similar issues of intense dislike of the daily grind of life and things like planning ahead (though not really to the same degree).

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for your comment Stephen! You’re right. All ExxPs have a need for unfettered freedom. Their greatest fear is being stuck.

  • Priscila
    Reply

    Just FYI, the audio in Stitcher for this episode is about ESFJs, not ESFPs.

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Hi Priscila.

      No clue why the audio is different on Stitcher. They pull from our main iTunes feed and it should be ESFP. Weird. Anyway – thanks for letting us know. I guess that episode is not showing up correctly. My guess is it is a glitch with Stitcher.

      Joel

  • Emily Weatherford
    Reply

    Thank you for giving me words regarding the vetting process. I have definitely faced judgment from some in my life for being shallow, but in the end these people have not proven themselves worthy of my vulnerability. I can go very deep with my closer friends, but they all pass my vetting, so to speak. I do value the ability to have fun and laugh in my relationships and this helped me understand why. Thanks for the great podcast, I’m glad I’m doscovering your work!

Leave a Comment