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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about developing a friendship with yourself based on radical acceptance.

In this podcast you’ll find:

Previous podcast on the difference between self improvement and self acceptance.

HAT podcast

  • Healing – trauma that may be holding you back
  • Achievement  – seeking the next level
  • Transcendence – Spiritual

Personality Hacker likes to focus on Achievement

A lot of people who focus on Healing are motivated by pain.

Oftentimes we have to do healing in the midst of achievement when cracks become apparent.

We all have an area we feel comfortable in. If we are achievement motivated we may approach healing or transcendence through achievement.

Radical acceptance represents becoming your own best friend. Becoming as kind to yourself as you are others.

Tara Brach Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha

There are so many different components to who we are and different agendas within us. We have a part of us that is a bully to the other parts of us. When we aren’t our own best friend and accept our fragile parts, we are bullying ourselves.

Beating yourself up to reach your goals is unsustainable.

Those bullies are simply repeating the things we have heard from others.

We maintain the traumas we experience by repeating them and adding to them.

Some people are perpetually in a healing mode because they keep clubbing themselves over and over again.

There’s big money in thinking we are broken. Cosmetic industry. Fashion industry. Beauty magazines. Physical fitness magazines.

Many religions teach that everyone is broken at the core.

Self acceptance requires you to shut those voices out after thanking them for their intent, without integrating their message. Remove the message and keep the intent.

It’s time for us to give ourselves our own message of acceptance.

Take the skill you have developed in not seeing your friends and family as broken, and apply it to yourself.

When one is feeling the need to do intense healing work it is often because they are resisting the darker parts buried deep within. These are the parts that need the most acceptance and self parenting. This doesn’t mean you are feeding them so they can grow, but you want to acknowledge they’re there and give them love.

Advanced healing techniques come from a place of full self acceptance.

Referenced in this podcast:

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Comments
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    Didn’t notice until recently that there was a lot of inner conflict sense moving out from my religious family. What I thought would bring me peace just created confusion as to how to navigate the world with acceptance. Kept pushing myself to do more, get somewhere in life they never been to to find value and acceptance from people who viewed life from a different perspective… A “successful” one. Ended up bitter and depressed over starting life anew and have since come to the idea that it wasn’t the people around me that was causing conflict, but my understanding of what’s expected from me. Instead of thinking I’m wasting time because I’m not “accomplishing” something, (even to the point I couldn’t sleep!) I started to focus on the things that make me happy… And that’s creating something, anything! That’s what kept me going and the negative thoughts at bay. What makes me feel like I’m progressing, healing, and transcending, all in one moment.

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