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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about self awareness and how it can be confused for actual self development.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • The generation we were raised in impacts us and our personality.
  • Millennials seem to have more self-awareness at a younger age compared to Gen Xers or Baby Boomers.
  • Millennials have a sense of self-awareness which comes earlier but they don’t necessarily have the maturity to go along with it. So there’s a tendency for some millennials to mitigate or excuse a bad behavior just because they’re aware of it.
  • There are people who (mostly Gen Xers and Boomers) did not gain self-awareness until the internet age happened.
  • Baby Boomers might have gone to some awareness but their purpose was different.
  • What is self-awareness and what does it mean to be self-aware?
    • Self-awareness allows you to understand other people, how they identify you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.
    • It’s an expanding world-view. It’s about being able to see the bigger picture in our daily lives. This is when we start to take into account more and more perspective based on what’s happening around us.
  • Millennials are born into a world where events and news are publicized real-time (example – social med and 24/7 news) this gives them the feeling of being super aware of their world.
  • Self-awareness plays a huge part in self-development. We want to be self-aware on our behaviors because you want to understand the impact you have in the world and influence the people you know in a positive way.
  • Self-awareness does not equal self-development. It’s a stage or a phase and not a destination or an end game.
  • If you haven’t actually integrated it, then you have self-awareness without the commensurate amount of maturity that goes along with it.
  • Social Justice Warrior. Someone who feels like they are aware of the major problems in the world. They find solutions to the problem and help spread awareness of the problem to other people.
  • In your personal development journey, it’s not about ending the behaviors, it’s about managing the behaviors when they show up so you can be your best self.
  • Knowledge is not equally proportional to Integration. Just because you understand and teach a concept, doesn’t mean that you’ve integrated it.
  • Growth is a very challenging process. It’s not only about understanding concepts and keys.
  • One of the things that development tools do to us is they help speed-up the overall process of self-development.
  • Just learning personal development tools and how they work doesn’t equate having done the work. The work means creating a relationship with your ego that acknowledges that you’re going to show-up bad sometimes, not your best self, and being able to hold space and manage your ego.
  • The idea of being self-aware and giving yourself an excuse for behaving badly doesn’t show compassion to other people.
  • There’s no expectation that people who are young are supposed to be mature because they have self-awareness.
  • Just because you have complete mastery of a concept and understand it well enough to even explain it to another person, doesn’t mean that you’ve done the work to fully embody it.
  • Just because you’re aware of your bad behavior, doesn’t mean that’s enough to mitigate it.
  • Awareness is mature when it’s aware of its limitations. When you realize that you didn’t know the whole situation fully, we come to realize that there’s always more to know.
  • Wisdom is the ability to understand not only where your shortcomings are but also recognizing the impact it has on other people.

 

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Showing 9 comments
  • Ashley
    Reply

    Hi guys! Enjoyed the podcast. Thanks for sharing. I am a millennial, so I just wanted to offer my perspective and observations.

    More so than seeing people who excuse their behavior because they are self-aware and “know what they’re doing,” I see millennials act as though self-awareness is wisdom itself, that because they are “self-aware,” they have nothing else to learn. Like you guys said, the inability to see that there is always room to grow is a lack of maturity, but millennials think that because they have the self-awareness equivalent to adults around them, that they can act on their “wisdom” (something we all know can turn ugly quickly). This is why, I think, we see little kids and teenagers acting, dressing, and talking like they are adults. In many ways, I think the accelerated self-awareness of millennials is eliminating those critical stages of youthful development. We have never known anything other than this fully accessible, big-world-made-small. Where do you go from there? Should be interesting to see where we land in ten, twenty years. Will it come back to bite us?

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Interesting comment, Ashley! Thank you for your observations. 🙂 I wonder if Millennials will have to do things in reverse. Where previous generations began thinking they were the center of the universe and then gained greater perspective with age. Maybe Millennials will have to shrink their world to gain greater clarity. Instead of seeing everything expansive, they will have to focus in on the individual needs of those around them and their own flaws and character traits. From a macro to a micro perspective.

  • Meaghan
    Reply

    I thought is episode was quite accuarate. It got me thinking about my experiences as a millennial and a college student. The podcast seemed to boil down to this: you can’t have self awareness and not take responsibility for that awareness. And I don’t think many people consciously choose to neglect personal responsibility, but rather don’t have the tools or present understanding (due either to youth or immaturity) to recognize this as the next step, as the podcast discussed. I see quite a bit of unintentional self righteousness in my age group–at least in the microcosm of my liberal arts school. They have good intentions, but aren’t always open to refining and challenging their opinions in order to be more effective.
    I also wonder what this self awareness without maturity has done to the increase of anxiety and stress that seems to plague younger people. And I get it—these types of struggles have pretty much always been higher in young generations; growing up is new and scary and hard. But, if we really are more self aware, more able to recognize our personal shortcomings and struggles, and are not yet able to actively take responsibility for them for whatever reason, we may see our faults as all encompassing, oppressive and out of our control. Now, I’m no psychologist…and mental health issues do have physiological roots, but perhaps self awareness without maturity makes stress, anxiety and depression even harder to deal with and keep under control than we may think.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment, Meaghan! I think you make a lot of sense. I can’t imagine anything more frustrating than having all the knowledge without the wisdom to handle it. It will be interesting to see how this generation continues to grow and develop and what lessons the next generation will take away from yours.

  • Caroline
    Reply

    Hah, I am a millenial and this podcast definitely struck a chord with me. It especially reminded me of memes such as: “That escalated quickly” or “Life sucks and then you die.” Both these memes show how self-aware the users are (okay some might just use them without thinking at all). But I think many people in my generation know that something is about to escalate or that they are unhappy with their lives – but they don’t do anything about it. So yes. Great podcast!

  • Caroline
    Reply

    PS: One more meme (maybe the most striking one) – “first world problems”. My generations makes fun of the fact that we live very privileged lives but are still unhappy because to stuff like this:
    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/142/422/tumblr.jpg?1309540116

  • Chelsea
    Reply

    I like the distinction between self awareness and self development.

    I often see that when someone (whether they consider themselves an sjw or not) points out a concept or behavior of another person (for example, white privilege or sexism), if that person accepts the concept, they often say “Ok. So what shall I do now? Where do we go from here?”

    A lot of self awareness is just listing facts or truths about ourselves. For example, I’m aware that I hold some prejudices of trans people. The thing is, I’ve only just now started to work on that despite living with, and interacting with trans people in my social circles for a few years now. Huge difference between being aware and self development.

    It can be really difficult because a huge number of issues in the world right now are concept-based. That means the solution isn’t physical. It’s rooted in mentality/a thinking pattern. Physical habits will result because of the change, but the actual change must happen in the conceptual realm. I think that’s the biggest factor we have to acknowledge in order to encourage maturity.

  • Pat
    Reply

    So awareness is not growth. Then what is the next step to get from awareness to growth?

  • Mark Caudill
    Reply

    I found this podcast very interesting, I do seem to see the same thing in the world around me. I am in my 50’s and self awareness has been a journey for me, but my step sons are more like you describe. They do say they are aware of their life choices but don’t care how it affects their mother. I see them as lacking maturity as you discuss in the podcast but they think it is fine to have a negative affect on their mothers life because she just let’s it happen. Listening to the way you describe it here helps me understand better why they disregard their mothers happiness with the way they treat her. Thanks for what you do.

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