In Podcast

Download Episode Hereright click link and select “Save Link As…”

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with Enneagram author and expert Beatrice Chestnut.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • The Enneagram personality types are such accurate descriptions of patterns of thinking, feeling behaving and how they work together to build a defense system of dealing with the world and your life. However, it can then become a rigid sense of being in the world and it becomes an unseen way of living – a blind spot – you don’t know what you don’t know. It’s what our strengths are based in as well. You could gain so much from understanding yourself through this lense because it’s such a clear way of understanding why you do what you do.
  • Zoomed all the way out: Set of three centers – Heart, Mind, body
  • Then Zoom in – Three different numbers in each of those three triads
  • Then zoom in again and you have three subtypes
  • Subtypes are three different sub-personalities of each of the nine types.
  • Humans are three-brained-beings: Head, Heart, Body (and there are three types in each)
  • For example the Body: Movement in the world, action vs inaction, instincts live there/reptilian brain, basic instincts and biological drives.
  • Three main instincts: they’re not subject to thinking, they just happen.
  • Self Preservation: Stay alive, be safe
  • Social Relating: getting along with the group/heard
  • One-to-one / Sexual
  • Deep dive into Joel’s Type
  • Enneagram 6
  • All subtypes are very different from each other to the point where you almost can’t even talk about one them all together; there’s not a lot of overlap in characteristics in each different 6.
  • Fear is a core characteristic and fear reactions can show up in different ways.
  • Some engage more in flight, some more in fight, some more in protective authority.
  • Self Preservation: A “2ish” 6
  • A warm, friendly person who is more actively aware of their fear.
  • Other 6’s don’t even know that they’re fearful until they learn the Enneagram.
  • Actively fearful and automatically solves fear and insecurity by making alliances with other people.
  • Wants to collect protectors so they have to be nice to be around.
  • Does not react from aggression.
  • Most ambiguous and has a hard time with doubt and uncertainty and rarely finds certainty in life; lots of questioning, doubts everything, experiences separation anxiety.
  • Social 6:
  • More intellectual
  • Attempts to solve the problem of fear through being authoritarian in order to find safety (this authority can be a person, ideology, a culture, a way of living, etc).
  • Has a more rational way of thinking and living; they know what to do under certain circumstances.
  • Fear comes from ambiguity and uncertainty which causes anxiety; sees the world in black and white and likes a system of rules.
  • Sexual 6: (JOEL)
  • Deals with fear thru taking it head on, best defence is a good offense, a counterphobic 6; won’t even register the fear.
  • Tries to be scary themselves (in the way they dress, make themselves physically strong, moves in world in a way that’s threatening and intimidating to others; not really trying to though, it’s just how they hold themselves.
  • Risk takers; feels most safe when they are going to meet the anxiety and dance with dager. Shows resilience; may want to control lots of resource and business acumen.
  • An ability to make things happen; relates to 3’s a lot; wants to be powerful in the world; wants to be dominant in all situations.
  • Advice for them: a lot about getting in touch with fear and vulnerability.
  • They will act from fear but won’t actually know the fear itself or the root of it and that gets them in trouble.
  • Acts aggressively to the degree that they feel vulnerable and unsafe; moderate aggression; they need to understand where it’s coming from.
  • Needs to understand how vulnerability motivates them.
  • Should have more compassion for themselves around fear and vulnerability and communicate about it with others;
  • Figure out what the triggers really are and what you do in response and slow it down so it’s not a knee jerk thing.
  • They will feel silly and take an ego hit if they become vulnerable.
  • Some of the most effective leaders are able to self disclose in a mindful way their vulnerability because it makes them more approachable.
  • Deep Dive into Antonia’s Type
  • Enneagram 3
  • Wants others to see them in a positive light; lives for and is good at meeting people and then matches up with or becomes the image of whatever the people around them view as competent and productive, etc
  • Self Preservation:
  • Very hard workers; very sensitive about not being seen as bragging or boasting because they don’t just want to get things done and have a good image.
  • They also want to be good because if security is tied to what you do, in a weird way it becomes even more important that you not only seem good, but you do good.
  • Wants to be a good model of whatever it is they are – partner, mom, etc – as determined by social consensus
  • Virtuous; has vanity for having no vanity; and doesn’t want to admit all this.
  • “l used to have a Mercedes but I was embarrassed to be seen in it, so traded it in for a Prius; uncomfortable wearing designer brands, etc and not too vain.
  • Biggest workaholic in Enneagram.
  • Has an added element of fear and anxiety around material things; archetypal provider, most likely the father, was not there or was ineffectual so they always had to make it happen themselves; very successful and self-sufficient.
  • Has the hardest time slowing down and has difficulty with self care.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 1.
  • Not competitive because they’re more concerned with the good of group so why be competitive.
  • Social 3:
  • Likes recognition, being on stage, really good at looking good, flawless appearance, corporate mentality, doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it looks good.
  • More competitive; doing what’s good for the group and more competitive and aggressive; bigger and larger than life.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 8.
  • Sexual 3:
  • Presenting an attractive image in relationships.
  • Supportive of others.
  • Very hard working in general as well, but often feels as though their success is tied to other people’s; they’ve had a big win if people they support have big wins; works very hard on the behalf of other people, so attracting partners in positive relationships asnd working hard so other succeed and not just themselves.
  • They see potential in others that they don’t even see; likes the potential of others as opposed to the actuality of the person.
  • They see the path to get to places that the other person can’t even see.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 2; very good cheerleaders and supporters and can do a lot of the work needed to get you where you need to go.
  • Blindspots/advice:
  • Most emotional of the 3’s; can sometimes have sadness underneath because their focus is on others so much and not themselves.
  • They need to help others but put equal amounts of energy into connecting with themselves and nourishing themselves like they do for others.
  • Put on your own oxygen mask first.
  • It’s sometimes considered a virtue in our society to deny yourself and put others first; but it’s a vice, not a virtue; it’ a good narrative but very much a crutch.
  • Try to understand your emotional experiences as they’re happening.
  • Can be quite disconnected from themselves while they’re so connected to others.
  • They get rewarded because of their personality style; too much caretaking of others at the negelct of your well-being is a huge blindspsot – so leave time and space to connect with yourself.
  • Beatrice Chestnut’s Type:
  • Self Preservation 2:
  • Childlike
  • Fearful, lots of ambivalence about relationships, doesn’t trust many people
  • Developing as a Self Pres 2:
  • 2’s don’t want to ask for what they need, it’s hard.
  • Try to get things indirectly with charm and positive repor.
  • Charming like a child is charming in presence of grown ups, like a cute 2; teachers pet
  • Consciously evoking care from others, good at sensing what other people need, to create positive relationships.
  • “If I’m good to you and friendly then you’ll like me.”
  • Has a sense of well-being from being liked.
  • Remaining young is like creating a character that people like and want to take care of
  • Growth task: to grow up, become an adult
  • Unconsciously, they don’t want to take care of themselves, they want other people to do it.
  • Didn’t get emotional needs met when they were young, so you have to take care of me in others ways now.
  • You need to step into your power more and gain authority of your life.
  • Do things for yourself, create real independence and not a fantasy of independence.
  • General advice for beginning to study the Enneagram:
  • Complete Enneagram book step by step guide
  • Taking online tests are tricky and not always accurate so hold the results lightly; use the data as a node and not the answer.
  • Ask “how does this relate to me?”
  • Talk to family and friends about your test results and see how it resonates with them.
  • Be honest with yourself about which descriptions you identify with the most.
  • You will relate to more than one type because of wing points and other types you’re connected to.
  • No better way than to do reading and reflecting and use the whole book as a guide.
  • Beatricechestnut.com
  • The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Subscribe with iTunes
Non-iTunes Link
Download The Android App
Subscribe on Soundcloud
Subscribe with Stitcher
Subscribe on Google Play

If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!

 

Want to learn more?

 

Discover Your Personal Genius

free-personality-test-myers-briggs-2

We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…

Personality Hacker
Personality Hacker teaches you the coding language of your mind and how to use it to create happiness.
Showing 14 comments
  • Jeffin
    Reply

    Thank you for the podcast.
    Please do a podcast with Katherine Chernick Fauvre and MA David Fauvre the creators of Enneagram Tritypes if possible.

  • Lori
    Reply

    Wow, just wow. I have been a student of Myer’s Brigg’s, for 12 years. I discovered Personality hacker and the car model, 2 years ago. Your model allowed me to explain my obsession with others.

    This podcast has reaffirmed my thinking once again. I have been interested in Enneagram for the last 7 years but could not marry the 2 ideas.
    With MBTI, I tested as an INFJ for a long time. I finally won a drawing for the official test, through Dr Mike of NFgeeks. We talked at length and then he typed me. He and I were blown away, I was an INTJ. Dr Mike walked me through several scenarios that lead me to 60/40 INTJ/INFJ.
    Finding personality hacker sealed the deal. For sure INTJ.
    The thing that has always tripped me up, I am super concerned about other people. So much so that my ENFP husband believes I am much more in touch with empathy and compassion than he is.
    I bought Beatrices book right after the podcast finished. The answer to all my MBTI holes is, I am type 8 sub Social. Being female I can appear as a 2!!! I am totally geeking out over here!
    thank you for geeking out with me
    Lori

    • Elena
      Reply

      I am also an INTJ (female) and am super in touch with my emotions. Learning the cognitive function stack and working with other INTJ’s makes me sure of my type, but I do buck a lot of the trends. Typed out as probable 5 on enneagram, didn’t add much to my lens till I read Beatrice’s book yesterday. Sexual 5, explains my emotional landscape to a T.

    • Hatem
      Reply

      Where is Mike Boudria these days??? does he still professionally type?

  • Dan
    Reply

    Am I the only one getting an error message when I try to listen?

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Yes. I haven’t had any issues. Are you listening through the app? itunes? Or the website? If it is through the app, you may try going to the website (or itunes) and listening to it there.

      • Dan
        Reply

        I tried it both on the website and on my phone, in various browsers. I hope I can figure it out, as I really want to listen to it.

        • Charis Branson
          Reply

          Have you tried downloading the episode and playing it from the downloaded version? There is a link beneath the episode to download.

          • Dan

            It’s the downloaded version I get the error message on, as well as all the other podcasts (they worked fine earlier this week). I’ll just listen to it where I have internet.

  • Leeann
    Reply

    I get an error message as well.

  • Liselott
    Reply

    Me to, can’t listen..

  • Charis Branson
    Reply

    Ahhh, that was the information I was lacking. It was the Download link that wasn’t working. It should be fixed now. Thanks for your patience!

  • Camille
    Reply

    oh gosh, I’m probably a 2. It hurt a little bit hearing it, but wow, a few aha moments. Thank you!!

  • Simon
    Reply

    Excellent episode. Thanks.

    Now I get the idea that your Enneatype can obscure your idea of what your MBTI type is – in a good way, I mean. Enneagram seems to focus on conscious and subconscious behaviour while you often say that MBTI is not about behaviour. But when trying to figure out your MBTI type, it is very difficult to do this independent of your behaviour, possibly explaining why so many are unsure of their MBTI type.

    If MBTI is the wiring of your mind, then Enneagram now looks like the software you play on it – and, more importantly, why you chose one particular piece of software over another. Thank you for bringing this topic up, and for describing it in a way that I had never heard before.

    Idea for a future Enneagram episode: While there is a lot out there on how the two systems are correlated, it would be more interesting and useful to see how these two systems “contradict”, and how you can use these anomalies to get an even better understanding.

Leave a Comment

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text.