PHQ | QUESTIONS: Intuitive Thinkers and Emotions

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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about intuitive thinkers and emotions.

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about intuitive thinkers and emotions. #thinkers #emotion

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Showing 12 comments
  • Alicia

    I have INTJ preferences, and when I notice my emotions, they are rather strong, not emotional breakdown strong, but still intense.

    The first step to developing a skill, like emotional intelligence, is finding the motivation to do it. (My Te says that unmanaged emotions manage me poorly and interfere with my ability to accomplish stuff.)

    In my late teens, I realized a couple things about feelings. Their accessibility does not affect their existence. Having the correct understanding of what each emotion is is crucial for dealing with them in a healthy way.

    (I used to think I, as an introvert who treasures her time alone and has limited access to her feelings, could not feel loneliness, and then I did some research about whether INTJs could feel lonely and discovered that I had had the wrong definition of loneliness. It was not merely the pain resulting from a lack of social interaction– at least for INTJs. I have not researched loneliness in other personality types yet.)
    I have primarily been focusing on developing emotional intelligence with my own feelings. I have found Internet research quite useful. I have made a folder of bookmarked websites called “Emotional Stuff”. They provide so many insights, even when they are aimed at non-INTJs.

    When trying to figure out how I am feeling, I think about the process like diagnosing myself with an emotion. I use my behavior (or my general impression of it) and, if I have the ability to put myself in a very-low stimulation environment for an hour or more, input from Fi and Se to determine which emotion I am most likely feeling. If I cannot tell my emotion, and my words and tone of voice seem fine, I am most likely calm.

    Also, I am not an expert. I gave no advice.

  • Charity Thompson

    I am an INTP and grew up very “inside” my own head. My family moved a lot, and in the end I attended 13 different schools, and 4 different churches. This was a forced “exploration” for me, and I learned to apply systems (such as personality systems- MBTI, Enneagram) to people to better understand them, and to know how to behave towards them. My best advice would be to watch faces a nd body language while people are talking. You will learn to read emotions that way (as best as a Thinker can, of course). Learn the different personality types in the Enneagram and/or MBTI. If you can apply what you see on faces and body language to a system like this, you can “if, then”- as in computer programming and apply your best responses. People are multi-dimensional and we have to use whatever tools are available to us to recognize their differences. Good luck to my fellow INTP’s.

  • Brianna

    Let me start by saying, I’m not an intuitive thinker, I’m an ISTP. However, I’m glad I listened anyway, and the content was still very useful. It’s great that Antoinia brought up the concept of “principled love” for empathy. I’ve found that the way I express empathy is through that idea; in the idea of the preciousness of life. That’s something that I hold to, because it just makes too much sense to let go. But, yes, I feel very deeply about it. The long in short, it’s good to hear I’m not the only one who has this mindset. Great podcast, as expected. Would love to hear more applicable content and advise from you guys soon.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the comment, Brianna! We are always happy to hear from the Sensors of the world. 🙂

  • Mia

    This brings to mind the fabulous memoir Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. Compelling memoir of a guy that had to literally create a physical journal (tool kit) to save his marriage. Laughter and tears rolled up into one great book!

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the recommendation, Mia! Sounds like a great book. 🙂

  • james

    intp here.> I have spent alittle (not much at all) time studying human facial recognition(emotions) . I stumbled across something that have me insight into my own emotions. I made a video. and at one point , when I was watching the video , when I talked about something in the video that was hard for me to explain, and had alot of thoughts about, I showed very strong and clear emotions on my face. I never new that I felt that emotion. I guess I have so many thoughts and emotions about that thing and I’ve just never been able to explain things right about it.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks James! Videotaping yourself to observe your emotional expression is an interesting way to observe how things are impacting you. I find it interesting that you could visually express an emotion you didn’t know you felt. Thank you for sharing your INTP perspective!

  • Rachel

    This is a really fascinating PHQ. I must admit, as an INTP, the temptation is to just try to “go inward” to analyze my emotions. I recently started trying to track some of my moods and behaviour in a similar way to how you were suggesting, but it’s hard to keep at it enough to get proper data. Laziness and just forgetting are the main factors in that. But I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out a couple things at least (like hunger can definitely be a factor), so there’s success there.

    The “test iterate” idea is a good one to internalize, I think. When I’m in social situations with people I’m unfamiliar with, I tend to be very quiet and unlike myself, because I have very little idea how people are going to react to anything I say. So I think it’s useful to think of being more myself for the sake of testing: not to be upset if people react badly/wrongly, but to use that as data to figure out how people work.

    Also, completely agree with what you said about “clarity”.

    • Charis Branson

      Thanks for the comment, Rachel! I’m glad the PHQ resonated with you as an INTP.

  • Ayaz

    I find it hard to believe that becoming more aware and skilled with introverted thinking does anything to heighten one’s emotional intelligence. Perhaps what you are getting at is by becoming more present, one is better able to process the reality of what is happening within one’s internal space. This has nothing to do with thinking or feeling, but rather a state of presence from which one sees more clearly than when one is not truly present.

    To be honest, and I love your guys’ material, I think it is unhealthy to suggest to an INTP to think when it comes to feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt. I can imagine many thinkers already thinking the previous statement is too fluffy for their own liking, however, there is nothing fluffy about what I just said. Feelings are meant to be felt. If that means you need to shut off the thinking process in order to observe feelings, then do so. Once you process said feelings, your lead function will know what to do with them. So long as you keep trying to use your lead function to make sense of feelings before you take the time to feel them, you will continue to run into a wall.

    • Antonia Dodge

      We tried not to conflate ‘feeling emotions’ with ’emotional intelligence’. In fact, I don’t think we really talked much about emotions themselves, but rather the skills that are built when one focuses on EQ.

      All people experience emotions, and I haven’t met a Thinker who has successfully shut them off for any real length of time without serious consequences. EQ isn’t the ability to feel emotions, but (as you stated in your comment) “know what to do with them.” And as you mentioned, it’s generally our dominant function that’s our go-to tool for making sense of most things. That’s why we broke down Daniel Goleman’s various components of EQ and took them one by one explaining how a Thinker could increase their acumen with those skills using thinking processes.

      I don’t think we said “don’t feel just think” in the podcast, but if it was inadvertently implied it certainly wasn’t our intention.


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