Podcast – Episode 0129 – Cutting Cords Of Attachment
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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about cutting cords of attachment using visualizations of cord cutting.
In this podcast you’ll find:
Cord cutting is a visualization tool used to ensure that relationships are as healthy as they can be.
Cords have a tendency to attach to our Chakra centers
Cords are energetic ties we have with another person or thing.
We have all had a physical cord at one point in life. Our umbilical cord sustained our life.Â
The umbilical cord was necessary to our survival. So cords aren’t always negative, and we may even see them as a form of nourishment.
Some cords are positive, and some are toxic.
A positive cord example would be the cord we create in a pair bond relationship. A loving, supportive cord between two partners. Love passes back and forth along this cord. AÂ transparent, flexible cord between heart chakras. Also a cord between sacral chakras connecting partners sexually.
A solar chakra would not necessarily be beneficial for a couple, especially unidirectional. That may indicate the vampiric absorption of one’s sovereignty by the other.
Some people are draining to our energies. Energetic vampires.
Cording can be one directional or multi-directional.
One directional cording is rarely a good thing.
Co-dependent cords are not nourishing either. They can cause two people to feed off each other.
If you are in one of these harmful cording relationships, and you sever it the other person will usually know and attempt to reestablish contact in an effort to re-cord.
Cut the Apron StringsÂ
Many of us can imagine different things in life we feel are keeping us tethered or obligated. Something we can’t get free of certain things, like an idea or location that is holding us hostage.
Most of us probably have a lot of cords – good and bad.
To cut cords:
- Once you decide there is a cord attached to you, try to imagine what it looks like. There may be a texture, color, size, etc. Is it old and gnarly? Snake-like and scaley? Or long and sticky?
- Where is the cord attached? According to Spirit Release, cords usually attached to Chakras. Some Chakra attachments are more common than others; some more dangerous than others.
- Choose the weapon of removal:
- Imagine a knife cutting it from you,
- Visualize throwing the cord into a fire,
- Use an imaginary shovel to dig it out,
- Imagine yourself physically pulling it from you like a barnacle,
- Whatever imagery seems most practical to you.
Use this visualization as a tool you use to shift your mindset.
Cords can reattach if we are not careful. If we are used to the cord, and it is old and gnarly, it may come back, and you will need to cut it again, and maybe again.
Sometimes we get back into old dynamics, and the old muscle memory attaches a familiar cord.
Cord cutting is language that reminds you to go back into that space and helps you to be mindful of how you are attending to your relationships. If you have to go back and cut a cord again, it reminds you of the tendency to get back into toxic relationships, and it keeps you aware of the need for personal autonomy.
With a Chiropractic adjustment, it takes multiple adjustments for the body to realign to its proper position. One cord cutting ritual may do the trick, but it might not. You may have to do it on a regular basis.
We create cords all the time; sometimes with random strangers.
Some personality types are more wired to do this than others. They feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions.
Where are you getting attached to people that may not be necessary?
On some level, we are all part of the dynamic that allowed the cords to connect, and it is up to us to remove the cords as quickly as possible.
If you have a tendency to attach to people, visualize yourself dressed in armor, or a cloak. Armor would be a temporary solution. A cloak protects you against cords that you don’t give permission to, but it is porous enough to allow healthy cords to develop. Like a gatekeeper.
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I really enjoy your podcasts ! This visualisation technique is quite new to me as well as chakras’ theory ! I understand this tool is more about cutting cords for unhealthy relationships but i was wondering if this could also be usted to create bonds for healthy relationships ? Like is visualisation working in this case because cutting cords is an internal process ? And maybe to create cords you have no choice but to interact in the real world and visualisation is not so useful ? Thanks a lot !!
Hey guys, really interesting topic. Can you advise where I can listen to a guided cord cutting ceramony? I think this will be more helpful for me to keep focus. thank you 🙂
There are a lot of resources on Google and Youtube. Just keep searching for Guided Cord Cutting and find the one that works for you.
I’ve studied cord cutting from a Christian perspective (similar to the soul ties mentioned by someone else), but hadn’t realized there could be multiple cords in place in a single relationship. This was a helpful insight, thanks. It helps to understand the multiple chakras in that sense.
Also, Joel talked about feeling socially obligated to a stranger on a train or whatever. I think this comes from being groomed as a child to take care of other people’s energy. That also sets up our own expectations for others to take care of our energy. The message seems to be that no one can handle their own energy, that everyone needs someone else who will manage their energy for them. I have to visualize holding my own energy inside my own space in order to resist this dynamic. I’ve noticed people being more attracted to me when I do this successfully–they’re more open to talking with me, more likely to strike up a conversation, or even just to sit near me. It’s almost like they subconsciously recognize a self-contained person as being a place of strength and stability. And so then I have to be careful about who is attracted–many times, it’s people who are looking for energy sources, which is what I was trained throughout childhood to respond to. It was always my job to provide strength and stability to the grownups in my world who couldn’t hold their own uncomfortable, feeling-and-thought energies.
My problem, though, is that I don’t know how to open up and share energy withOUT being a codependent, one-up-one-down relationship. What does a HEALTHY exchange of energy look like?
Any healthy dynamic will be marked by sustainability and nourishment for all people involved. Even in situations where the person is, say, a stranger pouring their heart out to you, if you leave the interaction with the intrinsic reward of having helped someone in need then it was nourishing for you (and you could sustain the interaction on that level if it was available to you). If you left the interaction feeling drained then someone else received value at your expense.
Those are not the only metrics but they’re a good start when gauging if your relationships are healthy for both you and others: do your interactions average out as mutually nourishing (since in any friendship there will be times when one leans on the other and vice versa), and is the relationship energetically sustainable? If not, it’s time to reevaluate how the dynamic is set up, how to make it both of those things, and if it’s not possible how to complete the relationship.
Okay, this is helpful…it gives me another level to think about what *should* happen in healthy relationships. My question now might not be relevant to many people, but I need to ask anyway.
What if *all* of my relationships require more work than the intrinsic reward I get out of them, no matter how healthily the relationship seems to be structured?
I have an extensive trauma background, raised in a very codependent/abusive family, and I’ve been diagnosed with Asperger’s. With those 3 strikes against me, I’ve not been able to figure out how to relax around people and just “be myself,” despite many years of counseling/therapy/self-work. Around people, I’m always in performance mode, and managing a great deal of sensory input, and trying to translate inner-world existence into outer-world language. Although I’ve learned to emulate appropriate social behaviors, it never feels natural to me, and other people react in ways that indicate they perceive something is “off” about me, too.
I understand the whole “be authentic-be yourself” approach. But if I were to truly be myself with someone, I think there wouldn’t be much room for real interaction–I exist too deeply inside myself. And yet, I desperately want to feel connected to people. But then I’m always afraid I’ll fall back into the grabby, codependent-y dynamic of trying to “mesh” with people, so I lock myself down and keep distance from others to protect them from my internal mess.
I’ve gone around in circles on this so many times in the past few years, I feel completely lost and hopeless. I think I’m too broken for anyone to want to know the real me. I’m in therapy, but my therapist can’t “fix” me. I wish I understood what a healthy relationship is supposed to be, so I could work towards that goal. But I can’t figure out how to get enough access to healthy people for me to observe them and practice relationship with them.
Hi mentsh, I happened to come here after realizing my own trauma history and read your comments, which resonated a lot with my own experience. I have been processing it with an integration mentor through the framework of the Four People Within by Merja Sumiloff. Merja herself comes from an experience of intense childhood abuse and I found her and her program to be incredibly helpful. Perhaps you could check it out. Wish you the nest
I don’t believe in chakras, but I see value to the visualization process in removing inappropriate attachments. The problem I have with this advice is that it stops short of gaining personal insight as to why there is an inappropriate attachment in the first place. It also provides little in the way of providing practical skills and tools to set interpersonal boundaries – whether that’s verbally, physically or other means. We often exist in the context of uncomfortable relationships, and the way to do that and have personal peace is to know our boundaries. It’s that old saying, “Where ever you go, there you are?”
True cord cutting might not give full personal insight as to the deep “causes” of attachment nor provide practical skills regarding boundaries. Yet it might provide insights that a range of (unconscious) attachments are happening (or recurring), where/with whom they are happening, and perhaps the judgments and feelings that go with them which could lead to deeper insights. It’s possible that even with knowing the “causes” as well as setting boundaries that attachments/resentments/resistances form anyway below our conscious awareness. Thus for those it speaks to, cord cutting could be part of expanding personal awareness while clearing “stuff” from interpersonal relationships.
Think of this as a tool that comes at a different time chronologically than discovering the etymology of the unhealthy attachment. It’s best used as a ‘how’ tool, though the visualizations may cull from your mind hints as to ‘why’.
Each tool isn’t meant to eclipse another (such as insight and awareness around why a cord was made in the first place). In other words, we add to our toolboxes, we don’t throw away hammers because we now possess a screwdriver. 😉
-A-
How does one see the cord of attachment?
What is the difference between projecting on someone and attaching a cord of attachment, if you can answer that that will be great.
Basically, you see it through your mind’s eye. I’ve used a pendulum to find cords on my body. A pendulum can also be used to determine what the cord is made of. But, most of the time you can just open your mind and see what pops into it. Ask yourself, what is this cord made of? And take the first image that pops into your head. An energy worker can also help you identify cords of attachment if visualization is new to you.
I found some helpful videos on youtube regarding cord cutting, like this one: https://youtu.be/1bIJ1WN1SBA.
I liked that video, very helpful…thank you
I wonder if you have heard of soul ties? This is a concept that is talked about in some Christian circles. I think it must be very similar to the chakras and cords.
Thanks for the comment, Katie! I haven’t heard of soul ties, but you have made me curious. I will check them out! 🙂
Great podcast and reminder to continue it as a possible regular practice.
My therapist/coach introduced cord cutting to me a couple months ago and provided a recorded guided meditation I could use (there are likely ones on the web as well). I see it as a tool for increased freedom and sovereignty from unconscious pushes, pulls, and patterns that bind us without our conscious awareness. In my experience this method really can work with any person, group, or “entity” (e.g. job, company, society, government…) that has negative or restrictive energy/emotion/judgment.
In the last couple months I’ve used it multiple times to cut energetic/emotional cords with my parents with transforming results (along with other healing work around self love). At the end of each session I was definitely lighter, freer, and more self-aware. Interestingly, new layers of awareness and hidden connections might come up at the end of a session that I hadn’t yet been aware of. I would then take some time to be with them before doing it again (perhaps days later). I agree it can take time to suss out these sometimes very unconscious connections and patterns around obligation, approval, rejection, disappointment, resentment, anger, shame, etc.
I’ve also done cord cutting around a previous job/company which had aspects of disempowerment and resentment that I had stuffed and never really dealt with. After cutting bunch of “easy” or obvious cords, a couple of really big energies (betrayal and shame) came up that I had buried and resisted. I could see how these radically affected my work life and life overall without even knowing it.
I think it’s important to note that “cords” can be discerned not just visually but also somatically, emotionally, and psychologically. For me visual imagery is an aspect, but I also try to “feel into” the pattern in my body, emotion, and mind (judgment) as much as possible to feel its effect which usually involves some pattern of vibration or tension that can tap into multiple chakras or areas of my body both front and back.
I agree, Joe. There are many ways to sense the presence of cords/attachments.
When I left the religion of my family after almost 40 years, I felt like I had an old, gnarled tree protruding from my solar chakra and connecting me to that religion, which had robbed me of so much of my sovereignty. I had a Reiki master do a cord cutting on me shortly after I left the religion (in 2012), but I knew it would take multiple attempts before all residue was removed. A couple weeks ago, I had a Qi Gong practitioner go into the area of the Solar Chakra (called Yellow Court in Qi Gong), and as she reached the right side of my body, just under my breast, I felt something blocked. I told her about it and she pulled out, what she called “Seaweed.” I wonder if that is part of the residual root system of that gnarled tree.
So that is an example of actually feeling an energetic block that may have been due to a cord attachment.
Thanks for the comment, Joe!
I visualized my unhealthy cord as made of such strong metal that I need a power saw to get it off of me. Scary!!! I’m left with a piece of metal sticking out of my body where my belly button is located. I guess I need help. Interesting ideas and I am going to work on it!!!
Thanks for the comment, Cheryl! That’s a great visualization. And good use of the tools available to you. 🙂
You may just need to trust in your ability to dissolve the stump protruding from you. Try visualizing it growing weaker without the person on the other end feeding it. In time, it may whither on its own. Or you may need to try some different forms of extraction. I’ve literally pulled at them like barnacles then throwing them into a fire. I heard of one lady who throws them into a toilet and flushes. Whatever works. 😉
If it seems tenacious and you realize help is in order to prevent reconnection, you might try some energetic work like Reiki or Qi Gong. There are also some helpful meditations on youtube. Good luck!
I don’t like the idea that I might have unintentionally attached a cord to someone else. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to me. I don’t want to cause a disruption to their energy. I feel I should be very mindful of that. I feel more concern about what I’ve attached to someone else than what someone might have attached to me. I think I will deal with it by envisioning the cord to be a string of white mist that gently dissipates into the atmosphere until it’s no more.
I think that is a great visualization, Tanya! I know people who do a cord cutting ritual every day. This cuts the cords people attach to you and vice versa. As Antonia and Joel mentioned, not all cords are bad. So, just because you unintentionally connect to someone that doesn’t make you a bad person. Doing a somewhat regular cord cutting ritual/routine will prevent their build-up, however. 🙂