ENFP Personality Type Interview (with Kyle Friesen) | Podcast 0424
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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with Profiler Training alumni, Kyle Friesen about his lived experience as an ENFP personality type.
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I am likely an ENFP – and I found this episode a bit challenging to listen to. Some of the stories had a lot of details that seemed to try to give context for the ‘how’ and ‘why’, explaining the self retroactively, but I got a bit lost in the details. The hosts did give a disclaimer that there was a lot of reference to a more advanced knowledge of the MBTI, so I probably should’ve prepared myself for that. But telling a story – and then having a throwaway comment ‘oh but really that was just my introverted feeling interacting with the extroverted thinking etc.’ and then to move to a different part of the story, was hard to follow. It felt like the speaker needed to explain exactly the context and external conditions that gave context for the emotional experience, but it seemed like over explaining in order to not feel misunderstood.
I did really enjoy the part on showing how him and his wife brainstorm together – and him finding value in getting out in the garden and actually showing what it would look like. And how he was able to appreciate his wife’s perspectives, rather than getting discouraged by thinking she was shutting him down – when really they just needed to communicate in different ways to each other.
Anyway, the structure was more free form than the ‘Advice for ENFPs’ episode, and in my opinion the lack of structure made it so that the insights were delivered less powerfully.
I resonated so, so much with this. At some points my mind was literally going in the same direction – and usually people do not follow the jumps my mind makes at all, so this was really refreshing and also comforting in a way, thank you guys for making this podcast!
The things that struck me most were the paint bucket metaphor and how it relates to the question of “do you care?”, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. Even though I’ve known theoretically that it would point me in the right direction for several years now, but it never really did. I feel like it’s just starting to sink in and the way you talked about it Kyle, the question of where am I irreplaceable, I think that was spot on, such a crucial point.
When I started listening to your podcast back in 2015 I had just discovered type and tested as an ENFP. Around the same time I was reading a lot of self-help books. I particularly liked Mark Manson’s theories in the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. Long story short: the key is to carefully choose what to care about (and specifically, to choose the problems you like to solve). And I think that for ENFP’s the way to do that is by using that paint bucket method: try, feel, adjust, repeat. Like a dance between Exploration and Authenticity: Changing the point of view, stretching the boundaries, but not for the sake of productivity – keep checking in with what feels right and follow the trail to see why it does. Because, in my experience, just asking yourself why you care doesn’t always work: for one, there is too many reasons you can think of and then you just give Ne too much power to find a way to sell you on it (don’t buy your own bullshit, right?). But also because, honestly, half the time I don’t even know why I care or why something feels right, but when I just go with the flow for a while it usually turns out better than when I try to control everything or try to make a sensible decision. That all comes back to that highway ramp too: I had the exact same throwback to that episode where Joel gets to decide where he wants to go and then chooses the opposite of what he wants, because he thinks that is what will make everybody else happy*. You only know what’s right once you’ve actually made a move. It all falls into place.
*side-track: We think we can feel for everybody else and so we take their point of view into account, without realising that we don’t know what other people want. So we think we’ve made the right decision, because we care about other people’s experiences as much as our own, but then we forget to check not only our own needs, but theirs as well, because we have just imagined them, instead of actually asking them. And for me, I think it’s also the feeling of that I should know what they want, so I should not have to ask them and I’m kind of projecting that out, so I don’t dare to ask, because I’m afraid I would offend them somehow, by showing that I don’t know, without realising that I actually cannot even know, you know?
PS. I also have this journal blockage, I cannot sit myself down and do it. What works for me though is having a really small pocket notebook I carry around with me everywhere so that when inspiration hits me I can write it down in the moment. When I think of it, this is something I’ve been doing my entire life, but mostly in the form of drawing and designing. Also this is where Si shows up for me as well: I always carry way too much stuff with me, just so that I don’t have to think about what I will actually need, because most of the time I don’t know in advance. So because I know that I am bad at predicting and preparing for specific events, I just make sure that I’m prepared for everything at all times, just in case. With the added bonus that I can usually help out other people a lot haha.
PPS. For me, anger is so much more internal than external: if I appear angry or upset, it’s usually because I’m angry at myself. Also that body relationship is so recognisable! The part of oh I have hips, I can actually move them haha, but also that moving through feeling, that’s so true. If I don’t feel it emotionally, I probably can’t move it physically. Only in the flow, without thinking getting in the way.
Lots of love,
Lisette
(PPPS. Little disclaimer: I wrote this entire reaction 2 months ago directly after listening to the podcast and then I forgot to send it, just listened to the reflection episode and blasted it on here straight after. So excuse me for not reacting to any of the other comments in the text above, didn’t have time to read any of them yet, but I will probably forget about it again if I don’t drop my comment).
Hi Kyle,
I really enjoyed your interview and learned a lot listening to it. Thank you for being so open about your journey.
I am hoping to tap into some of your insight regarding Fi that you have learned working on it as your co-pilot and the great connections/possibilities your Ne seems to come up with so abundantly. I also hope you all don’t mind me hijacking the ENFP discussion group a bit to ask an ISTP question but it given what you mentioned about your wife being an ISTP, I thought there was a chance you would have some good insight in that direction and perhaps understand the angle I was coming from with the question better than most.
What I am hoping you might be able to share are some tips for developing (or at least living with) Fi for someone (me as an ISTP) that has Fi down at the bottom of their cognitive stack (8th function). And Antonia and Joel I am also eagerly awaiting you all going further down the path of developing/working with shadow functions in future podcasts like you were hinting at a few months back.
I do get and for the most part agree with the idea that the top 4 functions and especially your copilot are the highest leverage for growth but am having trouble with just accepting that I am going to have to shrug my shoulders and accept that 7 & 8 are just going to be blind spots that the best I can do is to know they are there and come to peace with them. There might be some cognitive functions that works for, but Fi seems like one that everyone is going to have to figure out regardless of its place in our stack as we can’t just ditch/ignore emotions as much as I would like to be able to…nor wait until we are 80 to figure out.
So anyway that is a long winded explanation looking developing Fi tips for someone really bad at Fi and a not so subtle request for a what to do if you have trauma lurking in your shadow functions (or trauma there that you know you are going to need to use your shadow functions to be able to fix) podcast someday.
Thanks,
Julia
I REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoyed listening to this, thank you so much K, J and A!!!! (that should make it pretty clear that I’m also an ENFP).
I am 35yo mommy of 2, married to a borderline ENFP and I hail from a family of female sensors, my dad and brother was/is ENTJ and INTJ.
I have a very close relationship with my mom (ISTJ) and eldest sister (also ISTJ) and have learnt over the years to conversationally meet them where they’re at. My other sis is an ISFJ, and we struggle a bit more to connect.
2021 was a year of a deep level of trauma for me and I have matured in new ways I didn’t know was possible.
Since I emerged from the ashes beginning of this year – full of ambition and personal healing – I have been overwhelmed by my Driver and Autopilot. The creativity doesn’t stop, the possibilities are endless, and I’m back in create mode.
The past few years I have been in ‘let’s get income driven mode’ – i.e. teaching music from home, studying Psych etc.
After last year’s terrible realisation that I can not control my loved one’s decisions, I have decided to refocus my energy on my personal decisions …. meaningful things I can actually control, like you mentioned, Kyle, leaving a legacy etc.
My sole focus on getting income has shifted to really better myself as a teacher, collaborating with other experts and developing new ideas and things. And suddenly, for the time in years, I am forgetful, inspired to the point of exhaustion and almost feel like a new person – with a multitude of new dreams running simultaneously.
My Introverted sensing is freaking out a bit. But I don’t care. It’s just really good to have my Driver back. And even that overarching fear of rejection tied to my Introverted feeling. I’ve always been particularly at ease with planning up to a certain point and leaving out 20% for improvisation. It’s not a matter of not being fully prepared, but really to understand that complete preparation might stop the real the magic from happening. Being a musician (more of a composer and improviser than a performer) is such great way to illustrate this.
I spend several hours behind an instrument now compared to a year ago – and I’m pretty convinced that this has also really helped me to access my Introverted feeling etc. Maybe this ties in with the new field your wife is working in.
Sorry for jumping between topics, but listening to the podcast really made me feel so at home, like sitting on the couch having coffee with the 3 of you, and I just wanted to chat along as well 🙂
I’m glad you joined the conversation, Lillibet! 🙂
I hear you on leaving a legacy – it’s something that’s come up with another ENFP I just profiled last week. We have this great desire to leave a legacy, and it’s both terrifying and insecure but also completely fulfilling and wonderful in the moments where we feel like we’re doing a good job in making a lasting impact.
It’s so awesome to hear that you have space for your Driver in your life, and that the Baby isn’t driving the car anymore! 😉 I didn’t talk about music a whole lot in the interview, but improvisation is life to me. My performances (or my attitude towards performance) changed for the better when my college piano teacher explained how “in performance, there are no wrong notes – once a note is played, it is now meant to be, and you can choose to integrate it and make it beautiful or let it ruin the rest of your performance.”
Of course, this is in the context of having worked hard in practice to stop and correct things when learning a piece – which had been incredibly hard for me in my early piano years – so it was neat to see how it came full circle. After typing this, I wonder if this resonates with the way you’ve described your growth path? I think we won’t waste those times where we have pushed into our Si-Te, and it can be a solid base, but when we can come back to our Ne-Fi, it is incredibly rewarding! (And I’ve been getting back to my instruments lately, too – lots of piano, some folk harp, a tiny bit of viola, and learned guitar a few months ago, and if I ever stop singing it’s TERRIBLE for my mental health).
Oh, and jumping between topics is just fine! 😀
I REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoyed listening to this, thank you so much K, J and A!!!! (that should make it pretty clear that I’m also an ENFP).
I am 35yo mommy of 2, married to a borderline ENFP and I hail from a family of female sensors, my dad and brother was/is ENTJ and INTJ.
I have a very close relationship with my mom (ISTJ) and eldest sister (also ISTJ) and have learnt over the years to conversationally meet them where they’re at. My other sis is an ISFJ, and we struggle a bit more to connect.
2021 was a year of a deep level of trauma for me and I have matured in new ways I didn’t know was possible.
Since I emerged from the ashes beginning of this year – full of ambition and personal healing – I have been overwhelmed by my Driver and Autopilot. The creativity doesn’t stop, the possibilities are endless, and I’m back in create mode.
The past few years I have been in ‘let’s get income driven mode’ – i.e. teaching music from home, studying Psych etc.
After last year’s terrible realisation that I can not control my loved one’s decisions, I have decided to refocus my energy on my personal decisions …. meaningful things I can actually control, like you mentioned, Kyle, leaving a legacy etc.
My sole focus on getting income has shifted to really better myself as a teacher, collaborating with other experts and developing new ideas and things. And suddenly, for the time in years, I am forgetful, inspired to the point of exhaustion and almost feel like a new person – with a multitude of new dreams running simultaneously.
My Introverted sensing is freaking out a bit. But I don’t care. It’s just really good to have my Driver back. And even that overarching fear of rejection tied to my Introverted feeling. I’ve always been particularly at ease with planning up to a certain point and leaving out 20% for improvisation. It’s not a matter of not being fully prepared, but really to understand that complete preparation might stop the real the magic from happening. Being a musician (more of a composer and improviser than a performer) is such great way to illustrate this.
I spend several hours behind an instrument now compared to a year ago – and I’m pretty convinced that this has also really helped me to access my Introverted feeling etc. Maybe this ties in with the new field your wife is working in.
Sorry for jumping between topics, but listening to the podcast really made me feel so at home, like sitting on the couch having coffee with the 3 of you, and I just wanted to chat along as well 🙂
I just listened to the first half of the podcast and immediately had the urge to comment.
I really feel everything you (Kyle) told in this episode. Sorry in advance for the long message, ‘quickly and to the point’ isn’t my strong suit.
First thing I wanted to share is about coping with illness or ‘bad times’.
My favourite book has been and still is ‘The Secret Garden’ by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Which is all about not giving up, living life to the fullest, making the best out of every day. If you’re sick, you have to pick yourself up and try to do your thing either way, or you’ll only get sicker. Don’t make yourself sick. (Which off course isn’t always the case, people need rest) but it really resonates with me and I heard this way of thinking in your interview.
I also almost cried when you talked about both ‘being smart but not showing it’. I still regret acting like this till this day, but keep doing it anyway. The same for being too much and hiding it… it’s awful, and we need to be able to ‘be ourselves’. We have such strong Fi! I also know that journaling is the best thing I can do, but I hardly do it. It really helps me to make decisions better.
Also, I think I have been lucky in the Fi department. Maybe because I am a girl? Not in the ‘feeling’ way (my ISFJ mom really had to teach me all about feeling(s)), but in the authenticity way.
I feel like that as an ENFP it is so important to know your true self even though it keeps changing little bits’ year in and out. I started very young with figuring out who I was, I still make mood boards/vision boards and write down the things that are significant to me in a document on my computer, including future goals etc.
I am in fashion, branding and marketing now. This also makes it very relaxed to keep exploring this authenticity and chose for friends and a working surrounding that fits me, so I won’t have to change myself. What I wanted to say is that personal branding also really helped me in that department, and the combination of Fi and Ne is now my superpower. (Ne still taking the lead off course).
What I wanted to ask my fellow ENFP’s, which is about the hardest thing of all for me: Finding the balance between thinking (too) fast and adapting to others.
(Think brainstorming, being a very Ne creative thinker, coming up with theories and ideas, talking even faster than I think, etc. etc.) I know I am REALLY on my best when I am in full Ne mode. Workwise and personally. I know I do not have the energy to be 100% full Ne all the time…
Also, I really feel like I won’t be able to make it in life if I don’t slow this superfast thinking process down, but I am also afraid that I am settling and failing myself if I do. Who even am I if I won’t be able to use my Ne as fast as I can?
It will always be a difficult for me to find a balance between being me and ‘choosing me’ (selfish) and helping and mentoring others and doing what ‘I am just good at or what I am expected to do’.
How do you guys deal with this ‘selfish vs the world’ thing?
Thanks, Ilse! (And don’t worry, this is definitely a community where it’s totally acceptable to have long, wandering messages) 😉 I’m glad you’ve found a place to belong in fashion/marketing – sounds like a nice fit for you.
I love “The Secret Garden” too; I had asthma as a kid, and I think just living anyway, going into the sunshine, helped a lot. With chronic Lyme the trick was that this strategy didn’t just work as well – if I overdid things, I would be bedridden for days. I discovered my optimism had a limit, but I still think it served me well and I never gave up looking for ways to live (I remember spending one winter as an editor for a Kickstarter project from the comfort of my recliner – I couldn’t exercise my body, but I could still exercise my mind).
The Te/Fi balance is just plain hard. I should clarify – one of my masks in high school was being a “know-it-all” and I was “always right”, but I almost never studied as a way of saying, “I’m too cool to care about grades”, which was only partially true. I wanted to show that I wasn’t a nerd to avoid getting mocked, but in hindsight it seems quite ridiculous because I was getting good marks anyway – it was partially a way of giving my ego an “out” – the top student studied super hard, so I could say, “If I cared, I could beat her” – I was quite insecure in a very complex way.
But you’re right – there is an element of hiding my true self through it, and I *definitely* continue to hold back my Ne most of the time in public. Partly because it’s polite and it’s not effective to tornado people with ideas. But the tough part is that my Fi becomes more real if I can express it, and the emotional aspects in particular are hard – as you say, female ENFP’s may experience it slightly differently, and our local subcultures matter, but I get a weird vibe that Fi is awesome, as long as it’s acceptable/fits into the group’s values completely. Not everywhere, but on a higher level of society (which is why I tend to stay off social media).
Regarding “slowing down” your Ne, I wonder if one small piece of this is that you are much more than just your Driver function. So “choosing me” means telling your Driver that there are 4 functions in the car (along with the Shadow and then all the parts of you beyond cognitive functions) – the holistic You may not be as fast as “pure Ne” (if that were possible), but it is richer.
Another piece/angle (that may or may not connect to what you’re asking) is that I’ve found that writing down my Ne thoughts as I have them (let’s say I’m listening to someone else, or in a group setting and can’t blurt out my ideas) is very valuable, and keeps me from losing the insights. Sometimes I can’t keep up with it (I’ve developed my touch typing skills), but it helps reduce that worry that I’ll forget a brilliant idea when a 2nd, 3rd and 4th connection pops into my head as someone else is talking.
The 3rd angle, specifically directed at your last question, I think that “selfish” is tricky – it can seem overwhelmingly complicated. Ask yourself “who is determining what is selfish?” – and whether that entity is being selfish in their mandates. “Am I outsourcing my values?” is another good question.
One major decision in my life was when I was presented an opportunity to go to a clinic in LA that treated the immune system (not just Lyme Disease). It was VERY expensive. But my brilliant wife turned to me and said, “I *need* you to get better. Your kids *need* you to get better. You aren’t just spending this money on you, it’s for your family, and if you’re not healthy it hurts all of us. Your self-sacrifice doesn’t help us.” After crying my eyes out (like a major ego release moment), I signed up – and it happened to coincide with Personality Hacker’s live event in LA, which I attended the week after my treatment was done, and I’d say it was one of the most important, pivotal decisions in my life.
^PS – this is one way that I journal – by writing to other people. It feels more functional, and I still get to process my values and understand myself better through expression! And then I get the bonus of others interacting and sometimes helping me clarify or calibrate my Ne/Fi expression. 🙂
Ohh man, I feel the pain of “losing” a habit or ritual and trying to restart it… Exercise is like that for me in particular. (INTP here, feel like it’s tracking that Si backseat thing for some of us)
I appreciated listening to podcasts and finding out more about ENFPs. Thank you, Kyle. And it helps me keep a more open mind with anyone I date. It doesn’t have to be the perfect fit, we just have to figure out how to relate with each other.
You’re welcome, Trevor! I think that’s a great takeaway – cognitive function issues can be worked through.
If you start with a solid foundation of shared values and interests, enjoy each other’s company (physical attraction is independent of type AFAIK), and build up shared experiences (enjoy the positive times, and help each other through the inevitable hard times), personality issues can be overcome with understanding – and those foundational factors make the work worth it! All the best.
I received a lot of understanding from this. As an INFP who did the Myers Briggs official 30min test at age 42, I have never doubted what it came up with . It took me a while to overcome what Keirsey Bates said in ‘Please understand me “, about the huge differences as he perceived them, between INFP and ISFP. I wanted to come out as the artist ISFP, having spent all my life convincing myself that I made the right choice to train as an art teacher. Listening to Kyle on authenticity…I ask myself do I really care about this.? I realize now at age 72 that yes I really did care about becoming an art teacher though it was a whole new learning experience for me at the time.I so shocked all my family members for choosing an extraverted career( only a job then).No one talked to me about it and expected me to fail. I went on to paint a lot and do a lot of courses in painting, ceramics and the arts, never gave up on my goal to be an artist. I left teaching after 2 years at age 21. My Ne led me on many paths , the most recent being very passionate about worship music in the churches.My desire to encourage people to express their feelings is second only to painting ,my passion for line, colour texture, and messing with clay ,and my own way at my own pace to express my own love for the earth and the creation has never died.. today I asked myself ‘do I care about this?”… and my answer is …”I really do.” I no longer see my life as a fail but a huge adventure full of sorrow ,some joy and learning, learning learning the next part is embracing my desire to teach it to any one who wants to hear what I have to say. Yes bring on an INFP please …there seems to be so few here in my neck of the woods! ( Queensland)… Thank you Joel and Antonia. also what was said about Si routine I have only recently learned, as I set my mind to practice classical guitar every day for 18 months , got covid and am trying now to get back to daily … this is awesome!
I absolutely loved listening to Kyle speak. This episode was especially helpful for me as an ISTP female dating an ENFP male. Good to hear they CAN be happily married 🙂
I’m glad you were encouraged! 🙂
It’s not an easy road: good things rarely are easy. But if you both put work into personal growth, I think ENFP/ISTP can be a power couple that works well together.
I don’t think I mentioned it on the show, but talking while walking has been extremely helpful for our relationship. It’s an Ne/Se connection point, and allows us time to also get into our Ti/Fi together. Movement increases her tolerance for my buzzing intuition! 😉
All the best in your relationship!
Wow, that was amazing! I will definitely be visiting Kyle’s website. I am a INFP but got so much out of this interview, particularly how the cognitive functions play out in relation to each other Fi/Te, Te/SI, Ne/Te. Absolute gold, so much resonances. I am so looking forward to the INFP interview and genuinely hope I for the opportunity to attend profiler training in the future. Ps please come to Australia when you can 😁
Woah, excellent podcast, very applicable and useful conversation for any ENxP.
Why would ISTP/ENFP be a bad fit? It’s the bronze pair. their hero functions will make the child of the other develop in order to keep up. beautiful for relationships focused on growth.
also you said at some point that romantic compatibility will be hard if both people don’t share a single function. I have to vehemently disagree! not sharing a single function is actually a major condition for romantic partnerships.
Also, I am still very disappointed that you deleted all my comments on the ISTP episode. I was simply stating facts in a respectful manner.
Hi, Adrian. I’m not sure what you’re referring to – none your comments under the ISTP interview with Klaus were deleted. They’re all still there.
-A-
Also, would you care to answer my question or do you consider it careless thinking as well?
I don’t know what question you’re referring to. But I will say this:
You mentioned we need to screen our interviewees better. Klaus joined our Profiler Training program in 2017. He went through six months of digital content (over 100+ hours) that culminated in a 5 day live event experience in Los Angeles which he flew out to take. That was the first of three 5 day live Profiler Training events he has taken with us. He then joined our certification track, which was another six month course. In that time, we changed from certification to accreditation, which he also took and put him into a one year course. In that time, he became one of our profiling consultants and has now both professional and personally profiled into the hundreds of people. On top of that, he stayed at our house overnight (which is uncommon for our students, but just happened to be the case) where we not only talked for many hours but also went rock climbing / bouldering and Joel and I observed him behave physically. This added to our familiarity of him on top of all the other occasions of conversation and professional engagement.
You’re going to have to tell me what we missed in doing our due diligence of vetting Klaus. As I cannot see it, you’ll have to forgive me for putting more faith in his ability to determine his best-fit type and not a person listening to an hour interview, resonating with some of the things he said, and insisting their read as a stranger should be taken with more weight than the above process.
-A-
Well, as I said in the podcast, I believe all types can make a relationship work. Can you direct me to resources on what you mean by “bronze pair”? I just did a quick survey of MBTI relationship charts (just to understand what advice is out there) and the vast majority have ENFP’s and ISTP’s in the lowest category of so-called compatibility (a few even say “zero attraction”, which I find amusing). There was one that labelled it as “novelty”, which isn’t reassuring for long-term relationships (but at least it’s not entirely negative!). 🙂
I agree, not sharing cognitive functions can be attractive in my opinion and experience, but it can also be very hard for communication – which is extremely important in a long-term relationship, so my goal was to support the idea that by understanding cognitive functions better, we can learn to reduce miscommunications. Nothing saps romance like bitterness or disdain (which can often stem from misunderstanding).
At the same time, though, people with some of the same cognitive functions (or even all the same, in different positions in the stack) can be very romantically attracted to each other – I’ve profiled quite a few couples who have married someone with their inferior function as a driver, and some who have each other’s driver as their co-pilot. They do just fine romantically.
So I hope that clarifies my understanding – i was thinking when I was listening to podcast that I wish I could add little footnotes to my comments and clarify or bring further nuance – I constantly see exceptions or further complexity in my statements… And then I worry that people might misunderstand me (or that I’ll say something that came out a bit wrong and misrepresent myself!). Such is the life of an ENFP…
Shout out to Kyle. I was there at the same profiling event in Los Angeles as a guinea pig. We were brought together by your fellow profilers who had flipped out to find you and I had the same discovery in our judging polarities with flipped results. You had discovered you were an ENFP that day (as opposed to ENTP), and I had discovered I was an ENTP (as opposed to ENFP). It was a fascinating conversation we had as we noticed the similarities as to how we were seeing the patterns and allowing our third function to misinform those patterns leading to uneasy yet seductive conclusions.
You made this a particularly strong podcast in the series thus far with many great insights and concrete examples into the Ne-Si polarity. It really is like derailing a train. Seems like just as much work to get back on track. The other key bit was how you described the importance of growing as a guide to knowing (or confirming, but knowing rhymes and isn’t any less accurate) your type.
The final highlight for me was your mention of the second function bursting through the door with the screaming baby fourth. (That was the image in my mind, not the actual words you said) I think it would be great to have more discussions about that relationship. We often hear about the First and Third in cahoots, but that second and fourth are guilty of teaming up as well.
Great to hear from you, Brock! The live events are SO valuable, and I cherish those memories (I just wish my baby Si wouldn’t turn them into gifs…).
Yeah, I think most of the time accessing my 4th function through the 2nd is quite healthy, but I have experienced major stress that made my toddler take charge. Then I was deep in some Fi emotion but with a toddler driving the car – not a good place to be! I could talk about this stuff for days… (I guess at the live events, I have literally done that…)
Indeed. Baby Si is like a vault of details locked deep within the mind and everyone else but me has the keys. Once unlocked little bits of information spill out. Your experience is an example. I had forgotten meeting you as well until you unlocked that memory with the date and location of the event then your story. Then it all flooded back but only the fact it happened. I cannot remember the details or content other than little blips. Yeah, like little gifs.
Oh, man – so true! It’s one of those parts of myself that I’m so insecure about, but it’s encouraging when I connect with others who experience “losing their Si vault keys,” too! (And it’s nice that the memories are still hiding there somewhere, just waiting for the right pattern to emerge.)
Yes, that’s so true! Do you also have the feeling that your long term memory is stronger than your short term memory? I mean, sometimes I can recall scenes from my childhood better then what I was doing last week for instance. It is like it takes some time to process all my experiences and they disappear for a while, but once the process is done it will stay hidden somewhere forever until reactivated, and the bits that come back do so with even more colour of feelings and thoughts associated with them than they do for most other people. Which is probably the influence of Ne and Fi in the processing.