Podcast – Episode 0248 – Romantic Personality Type Pairings (Part 3) — Coaching An INFJ – ESTJ Couple

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia coach a real life couple (ESTJ female – INFJ male) and help them uncover the amazing aspects of their personalities that will lead them to a deep, connected, romantic relationship.


In this podcast you’ll find:


In this episode Joel and Antonia coach a real life couple (ENTJ female - INFJ male) and help them uncover the amazing aspects of their personalities that will lead them to a deep, connected romantic, relationship. #MBTI #myersbriggs #relationships #INFJ #ESTJ

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  • Thuja

    I would love to see interviews like this with different couples as a regular “thing” here at personality hacker. I’m neither an Estj nor INfj but found this fascinating to listen to. Moar!!!

  • Roselyn

    WOW! Thank you so much Joel and Ashley! I am a female ESTJ and my fiancée is a male INFJ. This is one of the very few times I see a prospective from this dynamic and it’s great to get some coaching on this! I would love to hear more about your relationship and maybe get some advice on our future life. I know you guys mentioned how your first year of marriage was hard and maybe that is something I should better prepare myself for since that will be coming up here soon lol. Again thank you so much for your insight and for being so open!

  • Leslie

    Wow, we are twins! I am an ESTJ female and my husband is an INFJ male. We both grew up as only-children (although he has two older siblings from a previous marriage). We have two young children ages 8 & 9 and my husband’s parents live with us in an in-law suite.
    So many similarities! Listening to this whole conversation is like sitting down on the couch with us. 🙂

    • Joel Glovier

      Wow, that’s rather uncanny, Leslie! Nice to know Ashley and I aren’t the only ones in our situation. 🙂

  • Suzie Ackerman

    Okay, so it took me a while to listen through this podcast while commuting to and from work but I have to say, my daughter and I just loved hearing Ashley & Joel share so transparently about themselves as individuals and about each other. Truly inspiring.

    And, Antonia……
    I literally said that out loud while driving into work this morning!
    Thank you for all the work you’ve done to understand all these types and communicate amazing ideas and concepts.

    Hope you to meet you and Joel someday soon!

    Big love from Pittsburgh!

  • Gugu Charlotte

    I’m INFJ and my boyfriend is ESTJ. Him being flirty really gets to me. It freaks me out and makes me think he’s more susceptible to cheating than the average person. Imagine a girl mistakenly giving you a go ahead, would you then say no?? The coldness, aloofness feels so painful it cuts really deep. I then withdraw back to my shell. Just too sensitive for my liking. This pairing is difficult. Sometimes when it’s good it’s really good.

    • Phillip Jacobs

      Gugu thanks for the honest post. In my past relationship I had hard time with those feelings and I came to realize it was my own issues with jealousy and envy. Something deep down wishes you have those connections your partner is expressing through flirting. Im not saying go off the deep end and cheat but it might be helpful to resolve those issues with partner or if more comfortable by yourself. Release that energy thru self exploration or continue to fight it and it will manifest thru controlling behavior towards your partner. All the best.

    • Jennifer

      My ESTJ’s eyes wander, looking at other women in front of me, even commenting on them, utterly oblivious that this is kind of bad behaviour.
      BUT there is nothing in it, he chooses to be with me, spend the night with me, give his affection to me. And so in an odd way his wandering eyes are almost a compliment, he looks at all these women and chooses me every time, even if their legs are better, or their make up or hair is perfect, he chooses me. And he’s hot and charismatic and lots of girls would love his attention and be helpless if he pursued them. But he doesn’t, because though he looks, he still chooses me. ❤️
      Be secure it will strengthen your relationship.

  • Michi

    I can’t tell you how much this podcast spoke to me. Growing up, my sister and I always seemed at cross purposes. Listening to the beginning of the podcast I saw the same dynamic we had in our teen years. I believe we still interact as though she is there to tire me out and I am there to dredge up all her emotions she has a hard time processing. Now I really see how much she pushed me to grow as a child. Thank you for your candor!

  • Ben Adams

    This was a little eerie to listen to. My wife and I have paralleled so much of Joel and Ashley’s story. I’m an INFJ and she’s an ISTP, so not exactly the same but we’ve had to navigate a lot of similar dynamics. Her roots are also from Mechanicsburg and we moved to Seattle after a year-long long-distance relationship! Thanks for your vulnerability Joel and Ashley, and if you are looking for any friends in the Seattle area feel free to get in touch!

  • Neena Deibler

    Loved this! My husband and I are the opposite to this dynamic – I’m an INFJ and he’s an ESTJ, and I resonated with a lot of Ashley and Joel’s issues. Thanks to all for this wonderful podcast!

  • Dana S.

    Thanks to Joel and Ashley for sharing their experiences within their relationship. I really appreciate their candid observations and shared struggles. Thanks to Joel and Antonia for unpacking many of the ways that the cognitive functions can impact relationship dynamics. Can’t wait to see more of this within the 256 framework.

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