When You ALMOST Know Your Personality Type (aka “Between Two Types”)

If you are not familiar with Jungian cognitive functions, please reference “Personality Development Tools: The Car Model” to familiarize yourself with cognitive functions and how they influence personality type.

If you want support in figuring out your best fit type – we have professional profilers that can work with you to discover how your mind is wired.
Find out more about Personality Type Consultations here.

personalityhacker_between-two-typesIf you can’t figure out your personality type, it doesn’t matter which personality psychology system you’re using – you’re stuck. We all understand typology systems based on how we fit into them.

It’s incredibly frustrating to read two, three, four different type descriptions and know you’re ALMOST there.

For some people it becomes a Chinese finger puzzle that has to be solved, and they pour countless hours into reading type descriptions from what feels like a million websites and sources.

By the time I get an email, the people who write me have generally parsed their type down to two contenders in the Myers-Briggs system.

I’ve noticed that there are a couple of predictable patterns in the battle between The Final Two in Myers-Briggs. Understanding these patterns can help narrow down to your Best-Fit Type.

Your Best-Fit Type is the personality type you resonate with the strongest and which you have “self-typed.” A profiler can help guide you toward your Best-Fit Type, but it is ultimately YOU that determines your type. And while people can (and do!) latch onto a type that serves their biases, each individual gets to make the ‘final call’. After all, you’re the only person that dwells inside your head and knows the terrain better than anyone else.

A caution: Attaching to a type based on how you want to see yourself only limits personal growth. The most helpful quality to develop in self-typing is modesty, the ability to honestly assess what you’re great at as well as owning your limitations.

First, let’s talk about the most common Final Two (in my experience, based on email inquiries):

INTP vs INTJ

INFP vs INFJ

INTJ vs INFJ

ENTP vs ENFP

ENTJ vs ESTJ

ENFJ vs ESFJ

INTP vs ISTP

INFP vs ISFP

Notice that almost all of the inquiries are from people questioning which Intuitive type they are, or at least asking if they might be Intuitive.

While any and all of the 16 types can become interested in and even obsessed with the system, it’s generally Intuitives that take it Very. Seriously. The Myers-Briggs system offers Intuitives an explanation for that life-long feeling of being a ‘weirdo’ or ‘alien’, confirming what they suspected the whole time: they don’t think like the majority of people. Great relief also comes from understanding they’re not alone, and in fact up to 25% of the population has similar enough wiring to feel a sense of simpatico. For someone who feels like an outcast, this can be game changing information.

Both the INFJ/INFP and INTJ/INTP questions warrant their own attention, so I won’t be diving into them in this article. They also don’t follow the same ‘patterns of confusion’ as the other types. Confusion around INFJ/INFP and INTJ/INTP are more based on similarity of descriptions. That is, INFJs often resonate with descriptions of INFPs, and vice-versa. The same is true for INTJ/INTP.

This article will address confusion between these types:

INTJ vs INFJ

ENTP vs ENFP

ENTJ vs ESTJ

ENFJ vs ESFJ

INTP vs ISTP

INFP vs ISFP

One pattern to notice is that there is generally only one dichotomy letter that’s in confusion. They could also be written as:

INxJ – T or F?

ENxP – T or F?

ExTJ – N or S?

ExFJ – N or S?

IxTP – N or S?

IxFP – N or S?

So… what’s the connection? Where does the pattern emerge?

The answer lies in each personality type’s cognitive function ‘stack’. Each type isn’t about what you are, it’s about which cognitive functions you’re using. There are eight cognitive functions, and each personality type has four of those functions that influence them the most.

A cognitive function is a mental process we utilize to 1) learn new information and 2) make decisions based on that information. They are technically called judging functions and perceiving functions. Please don’t get them confused with personality types that are Judgers and types that are Perceivers in the Myers-Briggs system. While the same term is used in both ways – and while they are related – they refer to subtlety different aspects of type.

The technical way of referring to cognitive functions are Dominant, Auxiliary, Tertiary and Inferior.

For each type the Dominant process is their ‘go-to tool’ in their toolbox, and the mental process with which they most identify. The Auxiliary helps balance each type out by making up for anything the Dominant lacks. The Tertiary is the opposite of the Auxiliary, thus creating a ‘weakness’ that can trip the type up. The Inferior (the opposite of the Dominant) creates a real Blind Spot, arguably the weakest function of the type.

For many years, Personality Hacker has worked to simplify an understanding of cognitive functions using the metaphor of a car. Our terms are “Driver” (Dominant), “Co-Pilot” (Auxiliary), “10 Yr Old” (Tertiary) and “3 Yr Old” (Inferior).
personality-hacker_car-model-cognitive-stackThe four letters in your Myers-Briggs personality type are like a secret decoder ring to tell you what your cognitive function stack is, also known as “how your brain is wired.”

If you are an N (Intuitive), you may only have a surface understanding of how your brain is wired, because there are two types of Intuition – Extraverted Intuition and Introverted Intuition. (For a deeper dive into both types of Intuition, please refer to Personality Hacker podcast Introverted Intuition vs. Extraverted Intuition.)

The same holds true for S (Sensing) types, T (Thinker) types and F (Feeler) types. Each of these letters represents two different cognitive functions.

So, it’s not a question of “Am I a Thinker or a Feeler?” It’s a question of “Which Thinking and Feeling processes am I using, and in which order?”

It’s not what you are, it’s what you’re using.

This dials up the ‘complicated’, while at the same time creating a lot more clarity.

For those of you familiar with cognitive functions, the pattern that immediately jumps out is this: type confusion almost always dwells in the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old positions.

For example, when INxJs have confusion over whether or not they’re a T (Thinker) or F (Feeler), it’s because their Co-Pilot is either a thinking or feeling cognitive function, and so is the 10 Yr Old. Here’s a side-by-side look:

personalityhacker_intj-or-infj_graphic
If you notice, both types share a Driver and 3 Yr Old process. The same pattern holds true for ENTP/ENFP:

personalityhacker_entp-or-enfp_graphic

…AND for those who have confusion around ENTJ/ESTJ, ENFJ/ESFJ, INTP/ISTP, INFP/ISFP. For example:
personalityhacker_intp-or-istp_graphic2

It’s common to recognize certain attributes shared by the Driver process, and then weigh a ‘feeling of familiarity’ with the Co-Pilot and the 10 Yr Old processes, trying to figure out which is strongest.

Since many type profiles don’t include the cognitive functions, but rather overall descriptions of how the types generally ‘show up’ in the world, the individual is left looking for something they don’t even know exists: tie-breaker examples between the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old cognitive functions.

But if the 10 Yr Old is a weakness and in the “backseat” of the car (so to speak), why would a type resonate with it enough to have confusion?

There’s a great model that was introduced to me years ago called the “Competency Model.” It’s designed to explain the stages in which people build skill, but I’ve found it to be a great way to understand each type’s relationship with the functions “in the car.”

personalityhacker_competence-model

Matching it up with the car model, it looks like this:

personalityhacker_competence-and-car-model
If you match these two models up, both our Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old processes are in our ‘conscious awareness’, whereas our Driver and 3 Yr Old processes are unconscious – either due to muscle-memory style competence or blind-spot induced incompetence.

When a type profile hits us so hard we feel like someone stole a page out of our playbook it’s because we’re reading a description of our Driver process, something that’s so second nature to us it no longer has language. When someone puts language to what we are unconsciously competent at we feel like they’re reading our minds.

Similarly, when someone describes our 3 Yr Old process well we generally just get the heebie-jeebies. It’s ‘foreign’ and ‘icky’ and ‘not us at all’ (though it is ‘us’, just the part of ‘us’ we tend to bury deep in our unconscious).

But the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old processes are different. We’re VERY aware of them, because the yin-yang relationship they have is in our field of awareness. We’re ‘conscious’ of both of them and how they impact us, including how the polarity of these two functions impact us. If we’re a Thinker – but not Thinking Driver, Thinking Co-Pilot – we can conceivably test out as a Feeler because there IS a Feeling nature to us. Just a 10 Yr Old Feeling version.

In the same vein, if we’re an Intuitive – but not Intuitive Driver, Intuitive Co-Pilot – there will be a strong connection with the Sensory part of us, because it’s in our conscious awareness, and may have us testing out as a Sensor some of the time.

And here’s the kicker. If we’ve learned defensive strategies that keep us in the ‘attitude’ we prefer (as explained in this article), we may be more associated with our 10 Yr Old process than our Co-Pilot!

SO. If you’re down to a Final Two, the most helpful information will be 1) learning the cognitive function stack of both types, and 2) a strong description of each cognitive function.

Good luck!

-Antonia

p.s. Here’s a quick overview of each cognitive function and the cognitive function stack of each Myers-Briggs type.

If you want support in figuring out your best fit type – we have professional profilers that can work with you to discover how your mind is wired.
Find out more about Personality Type Consultations here.

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Showing 64 comments
  • Randall lee
    Reply

    I am so sorry but I have so much to say and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to use punctuation because I’m going to use talk to text,

    But I will pause between each breath long story short I am a walking conundrum of personality traits and everything of my 40-year life says that

    There is no question about being all eight of the key types in the personality and I would really love to know why?
    And where do I go from here because my whole life has been a abundance of conundrum circumstances where I am having conflicting powerful emotions!

    Somebody please help me figure this out and not only that is I’ve been on a spiritual awakening of the ages.

    It’s been 3 days I have never did a personality test but again I’ve been on this journey to discovering myself and was able to pinpoint everything about myself not only that come across a article that look like I wrote it word for word because I have a witness being my wife who inevitably got me to the point of the spiritual awakening.

    Please help me out I’m so Lost in the world but so understand why I tick in every way….

  • Emily
    Reply

    Well, all these sound interesting and makes sense until I consider my own personal case. I struggle to understand why we must have our functions in the order provided by the types. For example, I took multiple tests for the functions and got Fi and Ti almost equally high. Before delving into this function theory, I took a lot of mbti tests and read a lot of articles/forum chats/videos, yet I still failed to figure out if I’m intp or infp. Even if I read articles that specifically tells the difference between the two types, I find it incredible that I recognize with exactly half of the intp traits and the other half infp traits. Why is it not possible for me to have functions of, say, Fi, Ti, Ne and Si, different from all 16 personality stacks? Is there any concrete scientific theory that explains why someone like me have to have Ne auxiliary? When I think about my close friends, it also seems they don’t behave like any of the mbti types. Is it possible for this theory to be fundamentally flawed? I know it’s been a long time since you posted this article but I still hope you can see this and clarify, thanks.

    • nilptr
      Reply

      I and a good friend of mine have *exactly* this problem as well: I,N,P are clear for us, but we both seem to settle about halfway on T/F. *All* of these tests have the same defect: any questions about conflict resolution that offer alternatives between justice, fairness, any quasi-objective standard, *and* customizing a solution to the particular needs or desires of the people involved end up damning T-sorts as F-sorts. Even for a Ti-user, the obvious principle in solving a conflict is, whereever possible, satisfy or reconcile the actual participants’ needs. (This minimizes complaints and emotional blowback, a win for T types.) Once one chooses that approach on these questions, no matter how rigorous the logic behind the choice or the logic used in determining the outcome … zap! We become feeling sorts. T-types who’ve *ever* had to deal with customers have been traumatized into looking for win-win situations … 🙁

  • Jessica Abrahams
    Reply

    I definitely lead with “Perspectives,” but I am still stuck between INFJ and INTJ. I test as an INTJ every time, but the cerebral INFJ is something I resonate with a lot. I resonate a lot with both types. I’d love to see a podcast or article about the differences between authenticity and accuracy as tertiaries, and between harmony and effectiveness as co-pilots. Where I have a lot of confusion is that I care deeply about people, once I start respecting them, and can easily get hurt by people I care for, but I don’t care at all about people around me unless I actually respect them.

  • Dori
    Reply

    Hi.

    First of all, I just want to give a big thank you to Antonia & Joel for all of your amazing work! I have been following you guys for a few months now and really feel that you two are the greatest voice of reason I have found doing this work.

    I first got interested in MBTI in undergrad many years ago, and initially tested as ENFJ. I spent many years in college (undergrad and grad) while working at the same time. At the time ENFJ sounded pretty accurate to me, so I took at face value and didn’t think much of it. Only in the past year did I get really interested in digging a bit deeper.

    It may sound silly but I have gone back and forth between ENFJ and ENFP- I have taken the test here a few times just to see if I’m getting consistent results and I keep typing ENFP (even after months in between). Perhaps that seems bizarre given the fact that they share none of the same functions, but I have a suspicion as to why.

    I have listened to many of your podcasts, I have read your book and have been consuming a variety of books and literature on the topic from various perspectives, and one thing I keep coming back to is how much it resonates with me when the topic of ENFP is discussed, when extroverted intuition or introverted feeling is discussed.

    My suspicion is that my tendency to test ENFJ at times is a combination of my upbringing and my career – I grew up in the south and in an area with a strong religious paradigm and, particularly with women, you were expected to act or behave in certain ways- to be “ladylike” thus conforming to those social norms was rewarded- I have to wonder if that has played out in my confusion about type. When I reflect back, I rejected the notion of acting or behaving in certain ways to be accepted, but as all humans crave love an connection, I at times would conform to get that and thus the act of “harmony” was rewarded.

    In addition to my upbringing, I am a social worker. I spend every day thinking about the needs of others. Listening to their concerns and helping them address those concerns in a way that gives them a voice- however, the more I process this the more I wonder if I’m using extroverted intuition and introverted feeling to connect with others and find possibilities or ways of helping them.

    How much of a role do you think culture can play into mistypes? And do you have any suggestions for those who feel like culture and upbringing make it difficult to sort out what is their upbringing versus what is authentically who they are at their core? I wish I was in a position to purchase a consultation, but I am not at this point, I am, however, in a position to purchase the premium profile to continue my journey of growth, and would like to be pretty certain of my type before purchasing.

    Thanks again for all that you do.

  • Trisha
    Reply

    Well this surely made me feel like a freak of nature.
    I suspect myself of having a personality disorder.
    What I struggle with is INTJ/ISFP

  • dragons
    Reply

    I’m fairly certain I do not have any one single type. My Ti, Ne, Fe, Fi are high and others are low.
    I have been careful about considering whether i might have Fi that looks like Fe or the other way around and that is not the case. I do not have any defined sense of morality, but my feelings get hurt easily and I take on other people’s emotions very easily. For example, in middle school, I had no friends and no one who was talking to me, so when we were graduating, i was happy to move on and perhaps improve my reputation and make friends. At a graduation party though, I saw some of my classmates crying and being sad about never seeing each other again and I began to cry as well, knowing how they must be feeling.

    I do not feel like I have to do good in the world, yet I always end up taking the role of guiding the group towards harmony and trying to change people’s mood, when it’s too depressed or tense. These just happen without thinking about them. I resent the expectations of doing good in the world and I never considered myself as someone who does, but when I read the description of Fe then it describes many of the odd behaviors I have that I had no idea why I did.

    If I had to pick between Fi and Fe, I would have no idea which is stronger. When making decisions, I prioritize my own feelings above the feelings of others sometimes, but the other way around other times.

    Ti and Ne are even more certain. Since I was a child I was coming up with mathematical puzzles for myself to have fun with (i came up with the formula for all k combinations of n and i was like, omg 2^k, this is so beautiful, people will be so glad to know about this, but of course such a thing already existed and everyone knew about it, I just didn’t have textbooks). I also always had some idea or project that I was never finishing. I’m a big fan of fantasy, psychology, coming up with theories about psychology and logic.

    As a child, I might have fit the Debater(ENTP – Ne Ti Fe Si) profile, if not for my intense introvertism. My parents always complained about my debating. I did enjoy debating on the less popular side and changing people’s minds. That is not the case anymore though. Now I enjoy my own mind being changed.

    low Te – forgetting things (such as going to exams), being in general very absent-minded
    low Se – remembering details that never happened (maybe they happened in dreams) and not remembering things that happened.
    and i don’t really get Si and Ni. I know what they are, but I don’t have a clear perception of them. I get low scores for these on tests though.

    If I choose Fe over Fi just because it fits with Ne and Ti, then the truth of these cognitive functions having any meaning would be in question for me, because you could always say that ah, it must be on the other side of the e/i then, if something doesn’t fit with the established theory. Also, out of the general profiles/descriptions, both the profile of INTP and INFP fit me much better than ENTP.

  • Allison
    Reply

    I come up as INFJ and INFP almost equally (on your assessment I was an INFJ, for the what it’s worth) and I think it’s because, on assessments that measure each cognitive function out as a percentage, my Ni and Fi are neck and neck and both very high (85%+), and Fe is always way out there even past Ne and Ti. So Fe feels like the “sticky” point in fully committing to INFJ because the other 3 passengers in your car model ring true.

    I know my Se is weak/neglected/the blind spot (the 3 year old), I can drop very comfortably into Ti if need be (the 10 year old)…but that Fe… Of course I don’t want to be needlessly unkind or unhelpful or malicious to anyone or make their lives difficult, but neither do I feel this overwhelming sense of needing to bend over backward or throw myself under the bus to please someone of “for the group” (in fact I can feel quite resentful when this feels like how i “ought” to be). Of course I want “the group” to get along, but if they don’t, I wouldn’t feel it’s somehow my responsibility to make that happen. I can offer ideas or suggestions (if solicited), but at the end of the day, it isn’t my mantle to take up. So I don’t know if that means I’ve just developed (or not) my Fe, or if I capitulate too much to Ti, or what.

    I have experienced with regularity the “psychic” (and psychic garbage) perceptions often attributed to INFJs, and I often don’t share those with people for the same reasons as typically stated (“that’s crazy” “where’s your proof” “how do you know” “that’s made up”). When it feels like no one will listen or “get it,” you tend to just not bother explaining things after a certain point. BUT I feel like my Ti also won’t allow me to buy into some of the “woo woo” explanations or interests/activities that commonly get attached to INFJs either.

    As for the INFP diagnosis, I am very in touch with Fi, with “who I am” and “what I’m about” and “how I feel about xyz.” I do often feel that I “mirror” rather than “absorb” the emotions of others and am able to maintain a certain distance from outside feelings, provided they aren’t directed AT me in an aggressive or antagonistic manner.
    Likewise, Ne also scores highly for me. Inside my head is very webby and I’m always bouncing from this to that to the other idea or connection. Boredom is a rarity; there is always SOMETHING interesting to think or daydream about. My memory is also REALLY good, so Si in my 10 year old seat doesn’t feel far-fetched at all. And my Te is almost, if not as or more terrible than my Se. Both are quite weak, and I tend to have a very strong distaste for impersonal external “metrics” (à la Te), and anything that tries to force people to do or be what maybe they are not.

    Problem points with INFP: they are often described as disorganized or scatterbrained or all over the place, which I don’t necessarily identify with; I have all kinds of organization systems for the things that matter to me, or that keep my life simpler. I do struggle deeply with turning daydreams or ideas into action though.

    So yeah, TL;DR, my order truly looks more like this: Ni/Fi (so close), Ne, Ti, Fe, Si, Te, Se…whatever type that would be.

    • Klara
      Reply

      I know it’s been a while since you posted but maybe you’ll still get to read this. Did you consider INTJ? What you said about being slightly lukewarm about Fe-related activities but being high in Fi sounds like you could be also high in Te and just not realizing it. INTJ stack is Ni Te Fi Se. Maybe your ‘slipping into Ti’ is more of ‘slipping into Te’? Your organized lifestyle could easily point to that. Te isn’t necessarily about forcing people to be anything. It’s more about systemizing (is that a word?) things.

      Anyways, I know the struggle of relating to a lot of functions and not knowing how to make heads or tails out of them. So this was just my two cents.

  • Alice
    Reply

    When I take these tests I always get strong I (96%+). My problem is I end up perfectly split between S/N and nearly split between T/F and J/P with the favor (+ or – 5%) changing depending on the day. I find things that fit across all I types but no single one that completely fits. What does it mean or does it even matter? Thoughts?

  • Ixxp??
    Reply

    Odd. I am mostly infp, but I have tested istp a few times, too. I think it depends on which side of the brain is working for me at the time, maybe? I’m very middle brained. I dunno.

  • Jess Visher
    Reply

    This was so interesting! I liked the point that Ns usually take MBTI very seriously. Sometimes when I have my hands in dirt and am enjoying it immensely I think that I’m a sensor but then I remember I am parsing types as I dig 🙂 [INFJ]

  • Ritu Kaur
    Reply

    So I’ve done the personality test twice and have gotten interesting results – My first test revealed that I am an INFP – this was quite awakening for me as the intuitive/feeling elements are very high senses for me. The second time I did the test I received a result of ENFP (-T) – this was quite interested as NFP remained the same but my driver function is completely different. How does this work?

  • Tia Slichter
    Reply

    So I am an ENxP, i doubt that i can accurately be typed. My driver is always extroverted intuition and my 3 year old always memory, additionally my 10 year old will always be harmony so in theory i shouldn’t have a question at all as that tells me I’m an ENTP the end…. However, my copilot can flip between accuracy and authenticity, but authentucity is present most frequently. Extroverted thinking (effectiveness) however, is never in the stack. Help please… ?

    • Visitor
      Reply

      6th function. Or Id function if you visit Stellar Maze. MBTI doesn’t really deal with it much, but there are aproaches, like Socionics, that explore how we use remaining four functions. ENTP has tertiary Harmony, auxiliary Accuracy, but 6th/Id function is Efficiency. ENFP has tertiary Efficiency, auxiliary Authenticity, but 6th function/Id function is Harmony. It is more or less agreed that 6th function is something you experience very intenselly and it can come off as harsh, unfriendly, but it is hell of fuel behind your functioning even when in the background. Cue criticizing EXTPs and drama queens EXFPs.

  • Miswired
    Reply

    INTP vs INFJ can also be confused. Especially if the INFJ is prone to Ni-Ti looping. They both use Ti and Fe. And if Fe is weakened in the INFJ, they can superficially look a lot like an INTP.

  • MI
    Reply

    So far the INxJ type describes me more accurately than the INFP I used to get as a test result, but I’m confused with a few contradictory traits:

    I have a fairly accurate visual-mental memory of past events, but they aren’t always reliable (I tend to forget stuff when I need to remember and when I do remember, it typically is after the moment passed) Would the fact I can remember stuff accurately put me in Ne-Si territory? Or am I using Ti to conjure up the memory, but stumbled by a weak Se that made me unable to use the memory in the present moment?

    I like to branch out and I value openness, which made me think I was using Ne, but the more I read about Ni, that describes my situation. I tend to look at a variety of perspectives, but it seems the idea of being open to perspectives is more a personal belief than a way of perceiving(?) When I am listening to another/possibly opposing perspective or viewpoint it seems to be a more conscious effort on my behalf to understand it. If it peaks my curiosity enough, I’ll do research on it to get a general understanding. If it is an opposing viewpoint and one I view morally wrong and harmful to others, then I’ll either stand by my point or walk away. The emotions related to this are in the background. They are present and they may intensify my thoughts but don’t typically consume my emotions. I still feel strongly about the issue, but emotions related compartmentalized and expressed though my internal thought loop. Am I using a combination of Ni + Fe + Ti for that function and not Ne + Fi?

    J vs P: I realized plan stuff but I don’t think about it. It seems ingrained. I’m not drawing out lists (unless I’m under stress, swimming with a mind full of thoughts, and need to clarify) I visualize what I want to do for the day and try to do it. I either feel okay and at peace or restless depending on how important I deemed the tasks that got finished/ left unfinished. Various times I have stressed over stuff that I didn’t get done. This mental visual system is also how I make my budget. Not a whole lot gets written down unless I need to clarify details or ease stress. I also noticed my mental idea is always a step or several steps ahead of the present. I see the task completed before I even start it. That is what guides me through the process of getting it done.

    Is it possible to go back and forth with the conscious/ unconscious awareness of the driver and 10 year old examples? I’ll do something subconsciously, then, like whiplash, analyze the process that lead to the action. This is how I noticed I was making schedules and consciously choosing which tasks to follow rather than going with the flow. What process am I using to analyze? Si or is this again Ti? Could this also be a symptom of autism being displayed here?

    • Trefrg
      Reply

      I’m an INTJ and that last part about getting stuff done sounds a LOT like me, especially seeing the task finished before you even start. If I have a week to do something, I’m seeing the future, visualizing my schedule for each day and I usually feel like I only have 3 days or so to do the task. I think this is due to leading with Ni and maybe also the combination of Ni and Te.

      What you said about understanding multiple perspectives doesn’t sound so much like Ni, at least not how I experience it. What I heard I think on the INTJ podcast that resonated with me a lot was the sensation of stepping outside yourself and watching your brain work from the outside. If you have that experience I feel like you probably lead with Ni, but don’t quote me on that.

    • starlightsdestructor
      Reply

      Same. I also INTJ but the way you said the perspective process is not quite me. I will say that my perspective going as a tree root, branching, and going deeper, it also connecting itself to things that I don’t know I knew. I can predict an accurate outcome based only from perspective. I don’t mind about morally wrong or harming others, as long as they had nothing to do with me. I only had same thing about the last thing you mentioned as postponing a project until the last minute, because I see the way I can complete it in short days (once I was able to learn a whole 4 months college lesson for the requirement to pass, in 3 days, because I don’t understand the teacher the whole time and instead learning by myself), need a deathly challenge, or I just plainly not interested in it. Also I seem to sense no Te in your talk, that of course the INTJ way of talking.

      The unfortunate thing about it is, I had a friend which is INFP, and strangely your way of explaining yourself is almost the same as his. Example of INFJ I know is my sister. She is very dilligent by nature and will not letting stress and mood take her down from completing her homework. She also very structured but also very emotional, and curious, better than INTJ in that mundane work part. She like doing arts and anything that connected to humanity, psychology, and deep things. I guess if you are INDEED J type, then you are much closer to INFJ than INTJ. Yours should be between INFJ and INFP. Did you appear more casual and mismatched, a bit aloof and distanced even with close friends(INFP), or more fashionable, seems like an Extrovert with close friends, and even can blend as Extrovert for bypassers(INFJ)?

  • Anita
    Reply

    I seem to have an unusual one. I was Skype typed by someone in the typology field as an ENFP but half the time feel that I’m an ESTJ. My sister and her husband – who are both quite grounded have said that they see a lot of my dad in me – ISTJ. I’m thinking that I either am an ENFP with an overdeveloped Te or an ESTJ with an overdeveloped Ne. I am in a healing process for PTSD and am thinking that the not knowing who I am could have sprung up from severe childhood trauma. Would there be some suggestions/questions you could give to help me land? Thank you.

  • Anita
    Reply

    I seem to have an unusual one. I was Skype typed by someone in the typology field as an ENFP but half the time feel that I’m an ESTJ. My sister and her husband – who are both quite grounded have said that they see a lot of my dad in me – ISTJ. I’m thinking that I either am an ENFP with an overdeveloped Te or an ESTJ with an overdeveloped Ne. I am in a healing process for PTSD and am thinking that the not knowing who I am could have sprung up from severe childhood trauma. Would there be some suggestions you could give to help me land? Thank you.

  • Mark
    Reply

    What about the functions that aren’t in your Functional Stack?

    I think my type is currently ISFP, because I’m naturally good at that introverted feeling thing, but my growth states and flow states have come from extraverted sensing-related activities – my auxiliary.

    So I’ve got Fi, Se, Ni and Te – it kind of makes sense.

    But in some situations, I use Ne, I think: when learning I do tend to experiment with things and try combinations out. I’m quite good at it, but It can get stressful though and feel like a compulsion or obsession. So it’s like having a shadow INFP maybe? I don’t know – confusing! So where does that fit in the fuctional stack?

    And I’m sure in some situations I use the other functions. ALthough they might feel like more of an effort, like looking after people’s needs in relationships (Fe), it’s not that I don’t like doing it, but it doesn’t come as naturally as looking after my own (Fi)

    I guess my point is: it seems a traversty to relegate 4 of the cognitive functions to no-mans-land, unworthy of consideration. All focus is on the 4 in the functional stack, and none of the MBTI websites I’ve seen makes much mention of the others that are not. Is that really the way personality typing works?

  • Em
    Reply

    I’ve tested for ENTJ-A, ENFP-A, which led me to read ENFJ and ENTP. I truly think I’m a mix of the organized and structured ENTJ, as well as the emotional ENFP, but I also relate to aspects of ENFJ and ENTP. What do you do when you’re sure of your pilot and co-pilot (EN), but less sure of your 10 year old and 3 year old (TJ, FP, FJ, TP)?

  • Fan E Mail
    Reply

    You may just be balanced…!
    Thanks Antonia for another great article!!!

  • Sophie
    Reply

    Hello,

    I’ve just discovered this classification. I should be INTP after doing the test. Then when I read the description of this type, it’s me, oh yeah, but…it’s not me. Then I search and found that for a big part of my life I recognize myself in isfp type. My feeling is that I’ve developped (by a conscious personnal work for a part) another personnality type, like I’m I–P, but the letters in between can radically change, and I feel in harmony in each world, and switch when necessary.

    Does it seem possible to you to be able to switch between such différents types?

  • Bex
    Reply

    I’ve got a difficult one… I’m torn between ENFP on my good days but I slip to the INTP on the average… Got a feeling that the INTP isn’t my natural state though. My people skills are crap, they don’t really come naturally to me, but part from that, ENFP description seems fitting, yet INTP is also very strong… Urgh It’s really frustrating…
    My enneagram is 9 though, that much I know.

    • D
      Reply

      I agree, I find that depending on my responsibilities, I’ll switch between ESFP and INTP.

  • Hue
    Reply

    I cannot decide whether I am an INTJ or an INFP. I am sure I have Te and Fi in my functional stack somewhere but I still have difficulties differentiating between Ne and Ni, and quite indifferent between Se and Si–I think Se/Si should be near the bottom of my stack. I am much more certain that I am an N as opposed to an S type, but have more problems deciding whether I use T or F in making decisions. Based on this I may be an INTJ because in the stack, Te and Fi is closer to one another. But on most tests I get an INFP.. So it might also be the case that because Te is my inferior and I’m purposely trying to develop it. As for Ne vs Ni.. I am interested in and do like to try out many different things, but get bored easily. I guess this is Ne. I never really understood Ni before until I read the explanation on this website on ‘shifting perspectives’, and I realize I do that a lot. I see things from many different perspectives before making a decision, to the point that it makes it incredibly difficult to decide because all these different perspectives may all be valid! This makes me quite indecisive at times. Also, I can grasp new concepts and identify patterns relatively quickly, before I actually understand what they mean. Perhaps that’s why I’m generally quite good with languages, programming, and maths. Any advice on how to go forward?

  • June
    Reply

    I am hoping you can comment on an INFJ/ENFJ. Not the relationship but I seem to be stuck. I took your test and came up INFJ. And on some other tests, I do as well, however, I also get this result.
    “You appear to have no preference for introversion(3%) over extroversion, characteristic of more than one personality type may apply to you, INFJ and ENFJ.”
    When I read INFJ, it really rings true however, there are times that ENFJ, seems to fit. Who am I how do I figure it out? Although, one minute I believe I lean one way then the other the next. I need to figure myself out. I don’t know who I am.

    • Archangel
      Reply

      This is my question, too! I always test as a strong -NFJ, but the I/E seems to bounce around. When I was in college, I usually tested with a slight preference towards extroversion. Now, a few years down the road, I usually test with a preference toward introversion.

      Right now, the INFJ type description sort of screams, “This is me!” That said, there are many aspects of the ENFJ type that feel like me, too. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I’ve started to think of myself as “more healthy” when I feel like an ENFJ and “less healthy” when I tend towards an INFJ. Am I way off track?

      Thank you for maintaining this wonderful website!

  • Red
    Reply

    Well that’s a clear as mud! Sorry but I just don’t get it…and I’m not academically limited!
    I’m ENFJ (personality test) and ENFP (Genius test). I don’t even fit the examples of confusing pairs :-/
    Anyone clarify for me?

  • Merlin
    Reply

    Hi! Loving your articles, especially the ones contrasting the types (INTP/J INFP/J). My problem is, I’ve tested INTP since early high school, and then I started testing INFP, and now when I look at the descriptions of functions and whatnot I also resonate somewhat with INTJ. I could probably figure it out if it were between one of the pairs you listed, but my biggest variable seems to be T vs. F, not P vs. J or N vs. S. (If I decided I wasn’t INFP I could narrow it down between the other two from there, but I’m primarily torn between the two I mentioned first.)

    My question is, is this something other people have trouble with? The uncertainty has been bothering me for a few years now, and both INFP and INTP seem to fit… but that conflict wasn’t listed in your “commonly confused” list. INTP seems too cold and science-focused to be completely accurate (or is that just a stereotype?), but then, INFP seems over-emotional and too people-focused. But they’re the closest to how I process things.

    Advice for figuring this out? Have you seen others present with this problem?

    • INerdTP
      Reply

      You could be an INFJ. They are generally the most thinker-y feelers.

  • Judi
    Reply

    Do you have any thoughts about when you’re torn between extrovert and introvert? I usually test as ENFP although on the I/E scale I’m just slightly toward E and there are things in this type that don’t really fit for me. In the Genius Style quiz, I scored as an INFP. I’ve been looking on your site at both types and see a lot of myself in both. It seems fairly nuanced since the cognitive functions are just flipped in their level of dominance but it’s made it extremely difficult for me to really use personality type information. Any suggestions you have would be appreciated!

    • Jayme
      Reply

      Judi,

      I can certainly relate to this too. Any thoughts the team has would be very helpful!!

      • Archangel
        Reply

        Judi and Jayme,

        I am also in this boat. Am I an INFJ or an ENFJ? Please see my comment to June’s post below.

  • Karen
    Reply

    I’ve always tested INFJ – until recently, when I’ve come up as INFP depending on the day I take the test (yours and others, free online).
    It seems like the questions that are the “swing” votes are around planning vs. spontaneity. They are hard for me to answer, because I like to have a plan, but am pretty adaptable within the plan. I think of it with a music analogy – improvisation within a framework. All the musicians know the key and the tempo, and the basic rhythm and melody. Then they riff off of that. That’s how I am. My improvisations might even involve breaking the rules (the “plan”), but usually with something I have tried before that I am pretty sure will work.
    It sounds like INFJ, I guess, but usually when my entire day is planned out I get pretty anxious and might cancel on something just to free up my time – maybe that’s the extreme introvert in action.

    Also, in reading your “strengths and weaknesses” lists for INFJ/P, I find it very interesting: the INFJ weaknesses describe me to a tee – perfectionist/self-sabotaging, difficulty moving from idea to action, and using criticism as a defense mechanism. But the strengths don’t ring true to me. On the other hand, the INFP strengths fit me to a tee – core values, honoring the individual, and being mission-driven, but the weaknesses don’t ring true.
    What’s up with that?! 🙂

    Thanks for your great podcasts and articles. I enjoyed hearing you talk about the types, and learning about the car model.
    -Karen

    • Karen
      Reply

      …oh, and i think maybe deep down, part of my heart is an ISFP…

    • andrea
      Reply

      Karen, I am an INFP, and your words about having an “adaptable plan” resonates exactly with me! I like plans and familiarity, but prefer to be flexible with them, and not set in stone–more go-with-the-flow. I always test as an INFJ (sometimes even ISFJ) because of this, no matter how unbiased I try to be with my answers! It was through this site I really came to understand the nuances between the two, and felt INFP was a closer match for me.

  • Austin
    Reply

    For a long time I tested intp on tests, but felt like I had a better grasp on people than the description allowed and didn’t really spend much time creating frameworks or systems. I do spend a lot of time gathering info and learning. Probably much more time gathering data than actually constructing systems. I use the data quite fluidly for whatever situation is in front of me. After taking tests that don’t ask social questions, I started typing as ENTP. Your car model confirms that or at least I think. On your test, I still got INTP. But when you talk about being aware of the co-pilot and ten year old. I am quite consciously anyalizing and collecting data as well as very conscious of the effect the harmony functions. The parts I don’t think about are where all my little creative outbursts or outlandish, but accurate, assumptions or predictions come from. I’m almost obsessed with cause and effect and guessing and predicting though it’s not something I put much thought into. I also don’t notice basic details in front of me at times and can’t stand when people flood me with how to step by steps. Also even though I know what needs to be done.( change oil, pick up groceries, pay bills) it’s something that is never present in my mind unless someone brings it up or I make some observational connection that brings it up. Anyway, does that sound like I could be an ENTP unconcious Ne and Si conscious Ti and Fe?

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      Hey, Austin! It’s difficult to know your type with any degree of certainty without doing a profiling session on you. That said, which is more a part of your identity that you grapple with:

      Do you find yourself having to fight landing in a ‘comfort zone’ in your life and not pushing yourself (which is more Si tertiary)?

      Or, do you find yourself having to fight caring about your ‘image’ and courting the approval/disapproval of others in order to present your truth (which is more Fe tertiary)?

      Also – We’ll be making more INTP-centric content soon on the site. So, keep your eyes peeled. 🙂

      -A-

  • dana
    Reply

    so, what about the INFJ v INFP? I think i have read and watched everything I could regarding these two and finally have to accept that i am some of each, as much as I’d love to be able to say I am definitely one or the other 🙁 Thanks for your articles!

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      An article dedicated to those two types is in the works!

      -A-

      • ENFJ
        Reply

        can you do INTP vs INTJ next please? i saw your INFP vs INFJ article

      • Nicole
        Reply

        Hello,

        I was wondering if the INTP vs INTJ article has been completed yet? If so, where can I find it?

        I am stuck between these two types!

        Thank you so much!

        • Charis Branson
          Reply

          We have a search feature on each page that makes finding things fairly easy. Simply type in the personality type you are researching and all the resources available for that type will pop up.

          As to the article you are referencing, here it is: https://www.personalityhacker.com/intp-vs-intj/

    • Dana
      Reply

      Oh my goodness! Another Dana! It’s amazing how there weren’t any when I was growing up, and now I find them all over the place. Good luck on identifying your type! (Mine’s INFJ, btw.)

      • claire hutchinson
        Reply

        INFJ- looking forward to more clarity and expansion on how INFJ’s are finding self acceptance and self love. Wonderful to find your articles.. thank you!

      • Dave
        Reply

        There is no Dana, there is only Zool.

    • Alex
      Reply

      The long and short of it with P/J confusion is that the two types don’t have a single function in common.
      INFJ = Ni Fe Ti Se
      INFP = Fi Ne Si Te

      Same deal with INTP/INTJ. What trips people up is that the types tend to have highly similar interests and can superficially appear to be the same – type profiles and dichotomatic tests like most MBTI tests are (that look at whether you prefer thinking or feeling, sensation or intuition, whether you’re a “judger” or a “perceiver” (what the Big 5 test more accurately calls Conscientiousness) typically latch a lot onto these similarities in interests and, to a degree, goals.

      They look at your behavior. And from that POV, it makes sense. Measuring yourself on a conscientiousness scale can be really helpful.

      The problem comes when you try to force the test results (which are in large part behavior) to correlate to a functional description of the psyche (which looks at how you take in and how you organize information in your head, and to some extent the experience of being you and isn’t in the least concerned whether you’re tardy or seek closure or whatever).

      In my experience, that is a fools’ errand – the MBTI test may have started as an attempt to give people a functional type but it’s increasingly not that, and more of a Big 5 style personality inventory that correlates stances/behaviors with other stances/behaviors. It’s useful information, but the tests and functional typing aren’t concerned with the same thing at all.

      Forcing them to correlate just diminishes the value both kinds of assesments can give you and will probably end with you being mistyped on one or both systems which certainly doesn’t help with personal development, whether it’s a focus-on-your-strengths approach as advocated on this site or the more common route of trying to develop the lesser functions as well. Can’t bloody well do that if you end up misassigning your type.

      The cures, I find, are three:

      The first is to disassociate the functional approach from the other stuff sharing the same terminology and to just learn as much about the functions as you can so you can identify which ones you use. If you are absolutely certain that you’re INFP or INFJ, for example, nailing down just one will tell you your type.

      The second is to immerse yourself in the communication style of the two types – the different functional stacks create differences that can be seen even through the similarity of interests. People of a different type just feel different. This can be accomplished by interacting with people that are 100% certainly of that functional type or reading a lot of the work of people of those types.

      I’d have some links I use for this but I don’t know if Antonia is OK with it, given that this is a business and the other resources are essentially competition.

      • Antonia Dodge
        Reply

        Thanks for the comment, Alex!

        Your points (that people see Myers-Briggs as more and more behaviorist) is a big part of our mission at PH: to make cognitive functions accessible to everyone exploring this system’s personality types.

        You’re correct – the differences between these types are their cognitive function stack. But the barrier of entry for understanding what each type’s ‘stack’ is and what that means seems to discourage people from exploring further. Meaning – while someone who already has a grasp on cog funcs may say “it’s a simple difference, here are the cog funcs…” to anyone that hasn’t already done enough study to realize that the four letter code is simply the ‘tip of the iceberg’, it’s anything but ‘simple’.

        That’s why we attempt to ‘sneak’ functions into descriptions. We give the functions nicknames, and we try to make connections between the output (behavior) and the etymology of that output (functions).

        Here’s the recent article we wrote on the differences between INFPs and INFJs. We chose not to simply do a side-by-side comparison the functions in a clinical way, but explain how those functions can impact how the types show up. https://www.personalityhacker.com/infp-vs-infj/

        Hopefully we can spread the word not only how cog funcs work, but also make it accessible enough that it’s the ONLY way people see MB.

        Thanks again for your comment! 🙂

        -A-

        p.s. And thank you for respecting the site enough not to link to outside resources. We actually have a lot of content on this site about functions, so please feel free to explore some of those resources.

        • Alex
          Reply

          I’d still rather link to them, my goal is to get people to understand. If there’s a good tool I want to use it 😛

          The INFP v. INFJ article was a very good one, btw. Many good things to observe to see what you’re more likely to do.

          • Antonia Dodge

            Oh, I’m with you! Here’s this site’s quick reference guide page with the cog funcs of each type: https://www.personalityhacker.com/quick-reference-guides/

            I just want to make sure it’s baby steps, and we guide people to cog funcs so by the time they get there they’re already sucked in. Unfortunately, that barrier of entry for cog funcs is almost always perpetuated by the MB community, almost as if you have to prove how into the system you are before you can ‘play’ with them. If we have our way, we’ll blow the ever living fuck out of that barrier. (https://www.personalityhacker.com/call-myers-briggs-genius-styles/)

            Thanks for hanging out and commenting. 🙂

            -A-

      • Melissa
        Reply

        When you talk about conscientiousness are you talking about J as opposed to P?

        The trouble I find is I tried that last one … going on type forums to see which type I found more connection with in the communication area and the INTJ forum I felt a great fit and the INFJ zero. So that made me think I must be TJ not FJ as my tests were less than 10% difference between the functions. Yet, further down the track I realise now I am FJ when I cast my mind back to early life as well to consider it … yet still the TJ forum fits so much better than the FJ I get what you are saying however the ‘different’ feel is on the FJ not the TJ yet I am FJ???? So not sure that system works completely well… maybe the personality hackers can explain further about this?

        • Charis Branson
          Reply

          Melissa – I think a problem arises when people try to compare themselves with others, like on a forum.

          When I first realized I was an INFJ, I joined some groups on Facebook and quickly started pushing back against that type because a large percentage of the people on the page were either young and underdeveloped as INFJs or completely mistyped.

          Mistyping happens a lot in the MB world because people get overly attached to the idea of being a certain type and try to force themselves into that mold. Typically, cognitive dissonance sets in when someone subconsciously knows they haven’t quite found the right fit.

          When someone finds the right type it should feel like somebody has gotten into your head. It’s magic!

          I have noticed there are also a lot of INFPs that think they are INFJ and vice versa. You might find this article interesting as it gives a different perspective on INFJs.

          https://www.personalityhacker.com/infp-vs-infj/

          • Rachel

            I had a “magic” reaction of sorts to much of the INTP description, but I’m also really worried about bias. I WANT to be an INTP quite a bit–I value the aspects of myself that fit that profile. But I want to be correct more, and I’ve had difficulty settling down on a type because I know I don’t see myself very clearly.

            Do you think bias is a big problem? What might the difference be between a strong positive reaction because you’ve found your type, and a strong positive reaction because you’re overly attached?

          • Charis Branson

            Bias can definitely be a huge problem with personality typing. I typed out as an INTP for years and I liked the idea of being objective and analytical. But it never felt right. Instead of actually having all the facts, I would become attached to my opinion and try to sacrifice personal relationships over logic, which always had a high price for me.

            Antonia and Joel finally typed me as an INFJ and I really resisted. I didn’t want to be a standard, everyday female feeler. I wanted to be a rare logician! But as I rested into it I felt myself growing again. Whereas I had actually been stunted by trying to develop my tertiary process of Accuracy instead of Harmony. Do I like the fact that I am one of a billion Harmony females? No, not really. But it feels right and it brings me contentment when I know I am getting someone’s needs met.

            So ask yourself, when you are feeling out-of-sorts do you hyper-focus on what makes sense to you and you alone and refuse to be reasoned with? (This would be Ti in its tertiary form and may indicate you are INFJ.)

            Or, do you seek psychological comfort, often retreating to familiar comfort zones, and fear venturing out of the house? (This would be Si in its tertiary form and may indicate you are INTP.)

            Hope that helps Rachel!

          • Rachel

            Thanks, this was very helpful. I definitely do the “psychological comfort” thing–very much. If I’m feeling out of sorts, I go hide in my room. I pretty much never refuse to be reasoned with. In fact, my problem is almost the opposite. It can be difficult for me to completely take a stand on something, because there are too many other ways to consider it.

            Can’t the inferior functions be quite helpful in figuring out types as well? People seem to talk as if they were the more obvious, childish ones, and more indicative of type than tertiary functions.

            It would be interesting to know if some types are more inclined to this “bias typing” than others. i.e. Not types that get mixed up easily, thinking they are one type because they didn’t properly understand it, but types that want to be other types. Do you think INFJ’s are particularly inclined to this since they tend to be quite rational, and value their rationality highly?

            Thanks again for the response. It bugs me that I can’t pin my type down, so every insight helps. I also wish I could read myself better, sigh.

          • Charis Branson

            Inferior functions can definitely be helpful in figuring out type! They don’t necessarily need to manifest as childish, but we use those terms to indicate their lack of development. Most of the cognitive functions, when developed, are a force to be reckoned with. But when they are in the back seat, opposite our dominant functions, they don’t receive the ability to develop so they can manifest as unhealthy.

            An INFJ that resists exercising their copilot process of Harmony (because its extraverted or because they just don’t find it very interesting) will definitely find their 10 year process of Accuracy taking over and they will identify more with rationality.

            Your first paragraph describes the Perspectives process (aka Introverted Intuition). That would point toward INFJ or INTJ – assuming you are an introvert. The 3 year old opposite of Perspectives is Extraverted Sensing or Sensation. This will show up as a tendency to become kinesthetically self-indulgent. It can manifest as a need to feed cravings – food, alcohol, sex, drugs, exercise, etc. With me, if I’m feeling stressed I want to eat or drink. When I’m feeling celebratory, I want to eat or drink. Sensation 3 yr old can also choose to ignore the future consequences of their actions.

            By the way, one of the products we offer is a verification call with Joel or Antonia (at this time). Here is a link to that product in case you would like a more definite typing. https://www.personalityhacker.com/personality-type-verification/

          • Rachel

            Hmmmm. Well, I’m definitely an introvert. But I’m not sure I identify with Se all that much, anywhere in the function stack. I probably eat more when I’m stressed, and feeling really happy makes me want to dance, but the “psychological comfort” sounds more likely, I think. Mostly I get depressed and hide and watch TV. When I get REALLY upset I have sort of emotional outburst, but even for that I hide in a really familiar place away from people.

            Anyhow, the verification call looks really interesting. I think I’ll look into doing that. Thanks for the help and the suggestion!

          • Rachel

            Short update: got the verification, Antonia thought I was INTJ. Not something I’d really considered before, so there’s some exploring for me to do there. It’s interesting that I still identify with a lot of the INTP description, though. I wonder if it’s just the similarities between INTx types, even though their function stack is totally different.

          • Charis Branson

            Thanks for the update, Rachel! INTJs are a very nuanced type. I often wonder if it’s not due to the Ni – Fi variables. Perspectives (Ni) can be a bit nebulous in its application and Authenticity (Fi) is so subjective it’s impossible to really nail it down. INTPs and INTJs may look a lot alike on paper but they are fairly different. For instance, INTPs lead with a decision-making process, whereas INTJs lead with a learning-process. Their thinking process can come across as socially inept in both circumstances, but INTJs will look less socially incapable because their feeling process isn’t as much of a blind spot as it is for INTPs. (INTJs feeler is in the 10 year old position, whereas INTPs feeler is in the 3 year old position.) We discuss something similar to this in this article: https://www.personalityhacker.com/intp-vs-entj/.

          • Rachel

            Aaaaand another quick update. Probably unnecessary, but I’ve been commenting on various posts as an INTP, so I thought I’d clarify.

            INTJ just really didn’t seem accurate to me, so I did another verification session with Antonia. This time the webcam was working and I wasn’t exhausted like I was the first time, and she thought INTP was probably the best fit.

          • David

            Enjoying your insights Charis — particularly with respect to you having typed as INTP and finding that INFJ is more accurate. I can’t find the exact post in which you made the reference, but I wonder if it was ONLY the fact that you found it difficult to be “brutally honest” (INTP accuracy trait) that tipped the scales for you to INFJ?

            For years I have consistently typed as INTP (multiple Jungian based assessments), usually with only a slight preference for P. And while most all of the various descriptions of INTP types fit me well, the “brutally honest” characterization has NEVER been part of my persona. In fact, I’m more likely to be EXCESSIVELY concerned about creating conflict or hurting someone’s feelings. I’ve always been the nice and friendly guy at the office, who everyone gets along with, even if (maybe because) they only know me on a surface level.

            When conflict does arise — between others, as I rarely experience it personally — I’m usually the first to take steps toward reconciliation and diffusing the situation (typically via humor or identifying points of misunderstanding and attempting to clarify). Its definitely an ability to detach emotionally, seek clarity, and find the most expedient path to resolution.

            So your comment about brutal honesty and my own experience of being the “nice guy” who rarely experiences conflict, and goes out of his way to avoid hurting feelings, makes me wonder about consistently typing as INTP.

            I’m ALWAYS learning, exploring and looking for connections/explanations that explain the human experience (relationships, leadership, management, marketing, parenting, etc) — with an eye toward reducing to essential concepts/components and identifying the underlying framework.

            If I need to explain something to someone, there’d better be a whiteboard nearby for me to start drawing connections/relationships and illustrating how the pieces fit together (concepts–not engineering). Yes, I’m the “whiteboard” guy. 😉

            This feels very Ne to me (perception always open to new info and looking for ways to connect the pieces) although it’s almost always unscripted and emergent — like going on auto-pilot and just letting the whiteboard become a canvas for the “here’s how things work” that’s in my head.

            Not that I can “see it” beforehand in my mind, but there’s some sort of MAGIC that happens and I get the key concepts out in an organized manner — followed by a “Wow, now I get it. That makes it much easier to understand!” from whomever is subjected to one of my whiteboard parties.

            That said, I’m pretty DETACHED emotionally from anyone outside my immediate family. Even within my family, it’s easy for me to show concern and/or excitement — but tears are rare, as is any significant displays of anger. I’m at the end of my rope (or you’ve questioned my integrity) if you see me erupt. My mom is an ESFP and dad a strong ESTJ.

            I exercise regularly, am very conscientious about appearance, make sure the kitchen is clean before bed, and floss EVERY night. 😉

            So it’s hard to decipher if I’m just one the nicest, harmony-seeking INTP’s in town… OR …if it’s possible I’m an INFJ who’s really out of touch with others emotionally. I don’t think INTJ is a fit, because Te and Fi descriptions never seem like a fit.

            I’m thinking about doing a type-confirmation session per your recommendation, but also curious just how big a signal the “not being brutally honest” might be for a possibly mis-typed INTP?

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