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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how hard it is to grow your co-pilot and give some tips on how to actually do it.
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19 comments
I’m totally a gamer and I totally know what you’re talking about. Great analogy.
A
Great podcast. I liked listening to “Is Growing Your Copilot Even Worth It?” I identify as an INFP and have taken step to grow and open up more. This is what my wife has been asking me to do for years. However, now she says I’m changing too much.
One of the things I did was start a blog because I’ve always wanted to write. She loves that I’m more open with her, but she doesn’t like that I’ve also started expressing my to others. It makes me want to just go back to how I was a stop trying to grow.
Also, I like the analogy with the construction site, but to me growing my copilot reminds me of the video game rpg Final Fantasy Tactics.
At the start of the game, you choose a class for you character. You grow and level up this character. You also have a choice a any time to learn a new class with new skills but it starts a level 1.
Eventually, when you level up the new class enough, you gain access to a brand new and more powerful class that combines the strengths of both classes.
The only problem in getting there is you had to start from level 1. So imagine you’re a level 20 white mage. You decide you want to grow your knight and switch to a level 1 knight. Now you’re a level 1 knight in a world of level 20 villains. It’s hard. You can choose to go back to the safety of being a white mage, or you can level up your knight with the knowledge that a white mage and knight combine to become a paladin.
Sorry, if you’re not gamers and have no idea what I’m talking about.
Eventually, if you
I identify as INFJ and I struggle with adjusting to new situations in my life. All my life I’ve had intense anxiety about starting anything new. Meeting new people, learning new information for a job, starting a new class in school, etc. have always stressed me out for approximately for 1 month until I adjust, learn everything, and adapt to my surrounding. I’m also shy until I know how to respond to others (what they approve of or not). I’ve alwyas become instantly more comfortable once I can get someone to smile or laugh. That makes me so comfortable once that happens. How can I lean into my copilot of Harmony to help me adjust quicker to new situations like this? Is this normal for IJs? I wish i didn’t have such anxiety about starting new things bc I have such a long learning curve to go through.
You are most likely using the Perspectives function without being aware of it. The key – slowing down – is the discipline that will help you not only use it, but identify and wield it. Modeling (and having extensive conversations with) an INxJ is a great idea.
At any rate, it seems you’re on the right track.
A
p.s. If it makes you feel any better, I strongly disagree that the current president of the U.S. is an ENTJ. I know there is some insistence on that being his type from some sources, but to me he’s a pretty classic example of what happens when one combines ESTP with an 8sx Enneagram subtype.
ENTJ here trying to grapple with Perspectives copilot, and with slowing down (so counterintuitive!). Your phrase “bubbling up insights” really hit me. If I stay in bed in the morning and don’t jump up like I usually do, eventually ideas and more important feelings of what my true priorities are come out of left field. My boyfriend is ISFJ, and his harmony copilot is so well-developed — he worked all his life on it, 70+ years — but somehow he doesn’t receive well, just gives, and reality does not intrude much on his life of creative fantasy and imagination. He gets along really well with others (while I could care less and don’t play nicely or act like a team at work) but he doesn’t move forward in life — he is sure that having the right contacts and getting along with everyone is what will bring him success in his creative work instead of just putting it out there for people to accept or reject or give feedback. Back to me, just stopping to see “what will happen” if I do nothing is terrifying and also so relaxing that I don’t have to be responsible for every moment and every outcome for myself and others. Perspectives so far seems like a big “do nothing” that involves picking my head up and looking around and perceiving a broader world but I don’t know what I am looking for or what these “patterns” would be. My daughter has a Perspectives driver so I keep looking at her to see what is this Perspectives thing. I would like it to be less of a mystery to me, like half of me is not visible to myself. Thank you both for helping me become more of a whole person (can you do it for the President, too? another ENTJ). Honestly I see how insufferable ENTJs are. Hoping Perspectives will round off those sharp edges of this bossy person who is just tired of myself having such a one-track mind and workaholic life. When Perspectives creeps in, I start laughing at everything. A ways to go, but you two have put me on a good path. I cannot thank you enough, your work is part of my life every day.