Podcast - Episode 0261 - Practical Steps To Getting Unstuck In Life And Projects

15 comments

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  • Helen Thomas
  • January 21, 2019 at 10:41 am

  Hi Alex, I found your ideas very interesting and enjoyed contemplating them. The RESOURCE/PERMISSION polarity seems right to me. As an INFJ I can ask myself do I have the personal resource (skill) to do this thing? If the answer is yes, giving myself permission seems the positive response, rather than staying stuck in unnecessary doubt.

  In respect to the MOTIVATION/CLARITY polarity, I really struggle with understanding why I lack MOTIVATION for what feels like a great project. Discovering CLARITY could well be key. So far I have assumed I need to remove some sort of block and then I’ll be good to go. However, clarity may well bring the conclusion that this is an ego project (not necessarily in a bad way but just that my personality sees the project as a good idea). As I said in my comment below, I think action moti (motion) vation, needs to come from our true, authentic passion – from our heart and soul. If we are in alignment in that our heart is part of the want to do something (the want being a desire which may come from a deep instinctual soul level) this will then compel us forward into action.

  I had a very strong ‘Yes!’ to attend a Coaching Program. I’d been looking for the right program for a while but when I found ‘the one’ there was absolute, non questioning clarity – a ‘Hell Yes!’ response. I didn’t need to weigh the Pro’s and Con’s.

  It feels to me we may get to a certain point when we may need to let go of a vision if we discover it isn’t coming from our heart and soul – our heart isn’t in it, as we often phrase it.

  This is where I’m at and have been for a while. My project idea ticks many boxes and seems to make so much sense. However, I don’t feel a ‘Hell Yes!’. It’s been more of a ‘should do this’ feeling.

  So ultimately I think you are really onto something with the polarities. As much as I tell myself I should get into action, in fact I want to get into action! It does feel that CLARITY is key for unearthing true motivation. Motivation from the personality is going to be much harder – well for me anyways :)

  Here’s a link to a quick summary of a book called Essentialism. This is where I heard about the – If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes’, it’s a ‘No’.

  Thanks for the insights!

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  • Alex
  • January 20, 2019 at 7:49 am

  This was very interesting and practical!

  At one point Joel, I think mentioned polarities and it got me thinking about how they related to this. I’m probably mapping models onto models unecessarily here… but I’ll go ahead do it anyhow… :)

  I see SKILL as potentially being lumped into RESOURCE, because it’s a resource that you bring to the project yourself, while other resources might be more external. This could map to the Se/Ni polarity: “how do I handle a problem? Analyze perspectives/take action”

  PERMISSION maps to the Si/Ne polarity: “should i rock the boat? Accept it vs change it.”

  MOTIVATION maps to the Te/Fi polarity: “what should we be doing? Behavior + impact”

  Finally, CLARITY maps to the Ti/Fe polarity: “what should we be thinking? Rational truth/social truth.” Joel mentioned that seeking clarity in a project might be the first instinct for users of this polarity. I do this for sure as an INTP. His comment was what got me thinking about this in the first place.

  Also as an example from my experience (INTP), my other polarity would be the acceptance/change polarity. If we map this to Permission: I often have to permit myself to take a risk and try something new, or permit myself to accept what is.

  Motivation, on the other hand, is a struggle for me because the “what should we be doing” polarity is not in my stack. The traditional methods of motivation seem to me to be “authenticity” and “effectiveness” based: “tap into your passion” and “check off to do lists”.

  Since each personality uses one of each of the judging and perceiving polarities (I hope I’m getting my terminology correct here), you could group them into pairs:

  RESOURCE / PERMISSION: “Can I do it?”
  MOTIVATION / CLARITY: “Should I do it?”

  I, as an INTP, look to Permission to ask “can I do it” and Clarity to ask “should I do it.”

  My INTJ friend looks to Resource to ask “can I do it” and Motivation to ask “should I do it”.

  I don’t know if it would be useful to diagnose a project from the point of view of your “preferences”. Does it mean that you can use your preference to access its opposite?

  (For example, an INTP finding motivation through clarity, rather than trying to access motivation raw, like an authenticity or effectiveness user would… an INTJ giving themselves permission by acknowledging their skills and resources, while an ENTP gains skill and resources bc of their natural drive to give themselves permission to explore ).

  Anyways, this is probably totally over the top, and potentially makes 0 sense haha, but it was fun :D

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  • Mel
  • January 18, 2019 at 8:57 pm

  Such an interesting insight, correlating this to 4 tendencies. I was not familiar with that model so I have to get busy digging!

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  • Zoe
  • January 18, 2019 at 12:00 pm

  I’m a new listener and have been LOVING your podcast – in just a couple of weeks I have had some huge shifts in how I see myself, and am taking action to change my approach to personal development because of it. I’m already seeing the benefits so thank you!!

  I loved this episode and wanted to know if you’ve ever heard/thought of doing an episode on Gretchen Rubin’s four tendencies model. At the end of the episode, when you were diagnosing why this person couldn’t do the last couple of hours in her project, it made me wonder if she was an “obliger”, which responds strongly to outer expectations.

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  • Amy
  • January 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

  This was a very timely podcast for me. I realized I have blamed others for not being my best self. I am journaling this week on how I can start giving myself permission.