Podcast - Episode 0289 - Personality Type Envy (The Grass Is Always Greener)

20 comments

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  • Dana
  • August 9, 2019 at 8:04 pm

  Well, this is timely! I am having huge Type envy right now – simultaneous with Type patriotism, in the best Fi-dom tradition. (Not that other types don’t do this too, of course. I’m just generalizing my current personal Fi difficulties in decision-making and opinion-holding. Basically, right now it’s all about me! So this comment may read more as a journal entry, because I’m in the midst of… I don’t even know how to articulate it. I guess I’ll just dive in and hope I make sense and don’t sound completely self-obsessed.) #INFP

  1. I have huge Te envy right now. I just want to be able to get stuff done without overthinking EVERYTHING constantly! And I want some of that Te ability to make money – the starving artist deal has gotten real old, and I’m tired of constantly thinking about money. (whine, whine, whine, as I sit here at my laptop with a full stomach in a comfortable home where I can go get a drink of clean water at will… #firstworldproblems)

  2. I have Si envy: I’m tired of forgetting things, losing things, and frequently missing all sorts of details, not to mention double (or triple) booking myself because I don’t bother looking at my calendar, or writing things on it.

  3. I’m tired of Fi obsessing over every last thing before it can make a decision, and then feeling guilty about whatever decision it makes because no decision has 100% positive effects – do I throw that plastic bread bag in the trash or the recycling? Do they really recycle it, or does it actually just get sent to China and burned or put in a landfill there? I don’t know, and it takes so long to figure out the truth, and then things change again… and really I should be growing, harvesting, and grinding my own wheat organically so I can make my own bread and not use plastic bread bags at all – but then there’s all the gluten, and isn’t that bad for me and I should probably just stop eating altogether because every action I take is going to negatively impact me and/or the planet in some way and oh, damn it I’ll just go to the stinkin’ McDonald’s drive thru and get some fake food filled with sugar because we’re all going to hell in a handbasket anyway so who cares! #Fithedarkside

  4. I don’t really have Extravert envy, but I sure would love to have access to more than my one energy-fill-up station at home! It makes it really hard to house-sit, which is what I’ve been doing most of this summer to earn some extra money. I think my 10yo Si also makes it hard not to be in my own home; my Ne copilot is so exhausting! I’m not sure I can articulate this accurately. I specifically said yes to a ton of housesitting this summer because I felt stifled and bored with my home (a small condo I’ve lived in for 20 years) and routine. I was hoping to have a new appreciation for my space after a big chunk of time away. Maybe I will when I get back to “normal” in September, but right now Ne distractedness and less-developed Si routinization are really dukin’ it out – over the last couple weeks I’ve lost several items (anyone seen my debit card lying around??) and keep forgetting to do things, not to mention wasting a ton of time constantly wandering around this (comparatively) giant house trying to figure out where I set things down.

  I guess that’s all my whining for now. On a more positive note, I do appreciate my deeply-held Fi value for individuals; it makes me respect people, look for the best in them, treat them kindly, and (mostly) assume good intent, all of which tends to come across in a positive light and generally makes people like me and enjoy my presence, which I also value. And my Ne, while making me easily bored with routines and repetition (practically every job I’ve ever had ), also gives me a lot of excitement and enthusiasm about new ideas and learning new things, which is a lot of fun. I likely wouldn’t need the great flexibility of my current lifestyle if I didn’t have that Fi+Ne combo, but at the same time, I’m sure I wouldn’t have the ability to maintain (survive) such non-traditional choices without it. All in all, I really wouldn’t change my personality type for anything – but I sure would like an ESTJ to come over and make the stuff I get done in my head appear in the real world a lot more often!

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  • Jess
  • August 9, 2019 at 4:10 pm

  That’s REALLY interesting regarding solitary confinement. I’m an INTP and I’ve thought of this too…but in reverse: I’m confident I’d be good for quite some time in solitary (in fact, I’d probably come out having written a novel in my head or solved some of the world’s tough problems as I tend to shy away from self discipline unless it’s forced upon me lol) but I think about how demoralizing and defeating it would be to be in prison and to NEVER have that time alone to re-energize as I imagine there would be constant interaction/noise/lights/stimulation/etc. Fascinating.
  I’ve ALWAYS envied sensors (they’re just CAPABLE and PRESENT) a little bit but I’ve rarely envied feelers—although it IS hard to be a woman with high Ti at times (and I imagine high Te as well, for sure).
  Extroversion: I do at times def wish I could be less socially awkward/more normal during social interactions but not enough to want to change types.
  Judging: I can sometimes actually pass for a judging type when I really need to and I love my systems so this one is less applicable (although I am ALWAYS late and 99% of the time, I leave the planning to my INTJ).
  I sometimes imagine being a super competent INTJ or ISTP (I like to study ISTPs bc we both have Ti at the top but theirs is matched with SE which is sooo alien to me haha. And that high Ni-Te combo is so mysterious and exotic to my mind). I would never give up being an INTP though; it’s just really a lot of fun getting super exited over books and Science and having a canine for a best friend haha. This was very interesting, thanks.

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  • Amaya
  • August 7, 2019 at 8:42 pm

  I can see both sides here, between S.U. and Travis, my INTJ comrades. I’ve mostly been in the real world because my absolute distaste for arbitrary authority figures with no real competence makes me very unsuited for an environment in a University or some other highly political/heirarchical structure. This was especially a big problem when I was younger (think 18-25).

  In the “jungle”, I think my biggest problem is that if I am not constantly stimulated in a “normal” jungle job, I jump ship. I just get bored really easy—I need a intellectual/ambitious mountain to climb and conquer.

  I also think it’s harder for female INTJs because we are expected to be much more socially adapted than men. If a man has a super analytical mind, he can get away with more social faux pas, from my experience. If a woman has a super analytical mind, and she’s not very socially savvy, she’s called a know-it-all-expletive-that-starts-with-a-C. I had to learn the hard way how to get in with my supervisors and basically create an environment where I’m kind of cacooned and undisturbed to do my work.

  Ultimately though, I just had to work for myself. It’s both wonderful and horrible. Wonderful because I set up the structure, and people pay me to solve problems in the same manner. Horrible because I’m also responsible for very jungley things, like dealing with billing every month (uuugh money is a very uncomfortable and social trip-wirey topic).

  It’s probably the best balance—no arbitrary authority figures that will drive me up a wall with their inane nonsense, no incompetent peers getting in the way of efficiency, no stupid repetitive tasks that can easily be automated so I can spend my time doing things that actually matter… But I still have to exercise social skills, occasionally hire someone to help me out, and balancing “real world” Sensor responsibilities like bringing in new clients, showing my work, and billing my clients, because at the end of the day the buck stops with me.

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  • ISFJ
  • August 3, 2019 at 1:20 pm

  Hi, thank you for putting this blog. This is very relatable and I am gonna share it with my best friend she is also an ISFJ

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  • S.U.
  • August 2, 2019 at 12:41 am

  To Sensors: Ni-land is a nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live here. Its true if you are the best seed, planted in the right pot and in the right soil at a university undisturbed and safe you may grow to be happy there because they will never take away your water supply but in the real jungle if you dont find your place you can float like a feather in the sky forever. You may get a great perspective below you but you never really get to land. Or in other words if you are an INTJ with dominant Ni and smart enough to get to be a professor at a university where you cant get fired and are protected from the real world then you might be happy because Ni likes safe calm low pressure stable environments. Many INTJs though may not be that smart so they can struggle to fit in to society so they may feel like outsiders all the time observing but not participating. Be happy being a Sensor.