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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how introverts and extraverts deal with the COVID-19 quarantine brought on by the 2020 coronavirus.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Quarantine is tough on everyone.
- Judgers may be having struggles because the quarantine is throwing them out of their routines.
- Extraverted judging functions aren’t getting the nutrients they need from the external world.
- FJs need regular connection with people
- TJs can usually find projects to do around the house
- FJs can try a virtual happy hour with friends.
- IPs like freedom in the outer world so they can test out ideas and emotions.
- Some Perceivers may feel like they are living Groundhog’s Day
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Leverage point for Introverts quarantined by self:
- Get out of the house and go for walks
- Forest bathing
- Qigong
- Chakra meditation
- Energy platforms
- We don’t know when this quarantine is going to lift.
- EPs need variety, novelty, and freedom of movement
- Get to work on projects that have been languishing
- We are being forced to slow down
- When we don’t have distractions, we have to sit with the life we have made for ourselves.
- If you are quarantined by yourself, you may have emotions coming up that you have managed to distract yourself from until now.
- Old trauma
- Unprocessed emotions
- This quarantine is like an enforced vipassana retreat
- If stuff is coming up for you, this may be a gift
- Look at your life
- What are the leverage points of change?
- Get your priorities in line
- Why do I have this job?
- Why do I hang out with these people?
- This may require some of us to re-evaluate our finances
- How self-indulgent have you been?
- Extraverts trapped with people – the same people – no variety
- Earbuds are important
- Get up early or stay up late to get your alone time.
- Great time to reconnect with your family through group activities
- Someone on Twitter said divorces would likely go up after this
- Try to differentiate between the stress of a relationship that is complete and the stress of the situation.
- What is the source code of the explosion?
- Is it yours? Or are you overwhelmed by the emotions of others?
- Introverts trapped with people may already have coping mechanisms in place
- Isolated with kids can cause problems because a lot of parent’s systems are unavailable
- A lot of introverts may get their alone time on their commute or while their partner is working
- Grace goes a long way
- Apologize when needed
- Don’t be too hard on yourself or others.
- Grace allows us to let things go, and it is healthy for us.
- One of the ways we find connection is through social media
- There’s a lot of negativity in the news and on social media
- Curse: May you live in interesting times
- What are you feeding your mind?
- If you feel overly negative, check what you are feeding yourself.
- The news can dump toxins in us.
- Challenge: Micro gratitude expression
- Post on social media something that you are grateful for
- It will train you to start looking for things you can be thankful for
- It will change the trajectory of online messaging
- Caught in the Act: At dinner, everyone says something good about every member of the family
- One person can offset millions in terms of positive, energetic output
- Be a force for good in the world
- Make it your responsibility to counteract the negative energy around us.
- That means you can’t stay in a bad place.
- What is going on for you?
- What leverage points have you discovered in this experience?
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38 comments
I’ve felt the same way, (I’m also an INFP) Being sent so many funny and unfunny videos daily has felt like a lot of social pressure. As I’m now doing a lot of working from home, I’ve discretely let people know that I’m only checking my phone from time to time, and don’t have time to watch everything.
I’m an INFJ at home with my husband (ENFJ) and two sons (1 and 4). And I felt so validated by the sympathy in this episode, I almost cried while walking my dog. I have really been struggling with this silent expectation that I should be able to do as much childcare as my husband does (we’re both trying to maintain our full-time jobs remotely), and I just can’t. I get overwhelmed and need to be alone. I have needed for some time to work on listening to my signals and taking a few minutes before I feel like imploding, so I have the opportunity to do that work. And lots of other work. The dog walks and early-morning alone time are saving all our bacon right now! It’s a difficult time for my husband too, in different ways, but knowing that it’s OK for me to be having a hard time, that I’m not a bad mother for having a short fuse right now, feels so incredible. I’m so grateful. Thank you.
Is it wierd that I am enjoying the challenge of quarantine and social isolation? I have discovered that I can in fact cook all my meals and not eat out. Money saved and healthier food being consumed. Also I have discovered that I only need to go to town once every 2 to 3 weeks for errands. How much time have I wasted in the past driving to and from town to pick up this or that? Not to mention the environmental impact. I am calling my mother more (she lives alone) which is better for both of us. I’m not shopping at all except for necessities and I am now planting a veggie garden! I am loving this slow living life:). I am an ixfp living with her husband and dog. I have discovered that I do in fact miss socializing but I feel an odd sense of relief that no one expects me to go out visiting. While I am stressed about what is going on out there in the world I actually feel lighter having had my daily to do list reduced and social expectations lifted. I have learned that less is in fact more and that I will go looking for social contact after a certain threshold of alone time is reached. I feel that I have developed a better understanding of what kind of a lifestyle makes me happiest and that I can balance social interaction in such a way as to make it something I genuinely crave. Stay safe out there!
Thank you for the great content!
I’m relatively new to MBTI, but your website and podcast gave it a lot more depth than my first encounter with MBTI (16personalities.com).
I’m an INFP, living with my INFJ wife and 2 kids, in lockdown in Belgium (week 7). Lockdown in Belgium is rather a mild version of lockdown in other parts of the world I think.
We can still go out for a walk, but you shouldn’t go somewhere when it’s not necessary.
Visits to other people are not allowed. Most of the shops are closed. Remote working is the standard.
You mention that introverts living with other people can have a difficult time (second hardest, after extraverts living alone).
Although the situation in general is bad of course, I really enjoy being at home with the people I love.
I’m very happy with the choices I made leading to the live I currently have (referring to “When we don’t have distractions, we have to sit with the life we have made for ourselves”). So far, this situation has no negative impact on me or my family. Staying inside is not a burden.
I have my desk at the attic, third floor, far away from noise. I guess the introvert in myself is getting its energy from spending some hours alone (or with virtual colleagues) on the attic. It feels like I have a lot more (mental) energy.
I started a small project in my home town, which taps into my “Exploration” co-pilot function (if I understand it correctly), called “door snapshots”. In this project, I photograph people and families in front of their front door, as a way to document where and with whom they get through this period. (“deurkiekjes” on Instagram)
It is a way for me to get out, explore the neighbourhood and get to know the wonderful people who live in my vicinity.
Love that you did an episode on this! I just started a podcast called Family Personalities where we look at Personality Type specifically in the parenting/family setting and this was the first topic we went into. Being an introvert parent is so difficult right now. It makes sense what you guys said about Introverts probably already having things in place to get themselves alone time and so they can lean on those skills now, whereas Extraverts might not have the tools yet to get what they need in this kind of scenario. However, for me, the main thing I had in place to get my alone time was to SEND MY KIDS TO SCHOOL. Sigh.