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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how introverts and extraverts deal with the COVID-19 quarantine brought on by the 2020 coronavirus.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Quarantine is tough on everyone.
- Judgers may be having struggles because the quarantine is throwing them out of their routines.
- Extraverted judging functions aren’t getting the nutrients they need from the external world.
- FJs need regular connection with people
- TJs can usually find projects to do around the house
- FJs can try a virtual happy hour with friends.
- IPs like freedom in the outer world so they can test out ideas and emotions.
- Some Perceivers may feel like they are living Groundhog’s Day
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Leverage point for Introverts quarantined by self:
- Get out of the house and go for walks
- Forest bathing
- Qigong
- Chakra meditation
- Energy platforms
- We don’t know when this quarantine is going to lift.
- EPs need variety, novelty, and freedom of movement
- Get to work on projects that have been languishing
- We are being forced to slow down
- When we don’t have distractions, we have to sit with the life we have made for ourselves.
- If you are quarantined by yourself, you may have emotions coming up that you have managed to distract yourself from until now.
- Old trauma
- Unprocessed emotions
- This quarantine is like an enforced vipassana retreat
- If stuff is coming up for you, this may be a gift
- Look at your life
- What are the leverage points of change?
- Get your priorities in line
- Why do I have this job?
- Why do I hang out with these people?
- This may require some of us to re-evaluate our finances
- How self-indulgent have you been?
- Extraverts trapped with people – the same people – no variety
- Earbuds are important
- Get up early or stay up late to get your alone time.
- Great time to reconnect with your family through group activities
- Someone on Twitter said divorces would likely go up after this
- Try to differentiate between the stress of a relationship that is complete and the stress of the situation.
- What is the source code of the explosion?
- Is it yours? Or are you overwhelmed by the emotions of others?
- Introverts trapped with people may already have coping mechanisms in place
- Isolated with kids can cause problems because a lot of parent’s systems are unavailable
- A lot of introverts may get their alone time on their commute or while their partner is working
- Grace goes a long way
- Apologize when needed
- Don’t be too hard on yourself or others.
- Grace allows us to let things go, and it is healthy for us.
- One of the ways we find connection is through social media
- There’s a lot of negativity in the news and on social media
- Curse: May you live in interesting times
- What are you feeding your mind?
- If you feel overly negative, check what you are feeding yourself.
- The news can dump toxins in us.
- Challenge: Micro gratitude expression
- Post on social media something that you are grateful for
- It will train you to start looking for things you can be thankful for
- It will change the trajectory of online messaging
- Caught in the Act: At dinner, everyone says something good about every member of the family
- One person can offset millions in terms of positive, energetic output
- Be a force for good in the world
- Make it your responsibility to counteract the negative energy around us.
- That means you can’t stay in a bad place.
- What is going on for you?
- What leverage points have you discovered in this experience?
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38 comments
I’m an INFJ and my husband is an ENFJ. In the first few minutes Joel expressed his empathy for NFJs in this time and I nearly just burst into tears because I felt so validated and understood. This has been a rough time and I’ve wondered a few times if I’m overreacting, because almost everyone else I know it much less impacted by it. Thank you for giving me that moment :-)
“As for me, I am fine as long as I don’t think about how long this will last.”
Exactly.
A
I’m an INFP. There are many things that I’m grateful for, such as the positive impact quarantine is having on the environment, the mass slowing down of modern societies that can give people a break from modern life which we probably all need for our health, the potential for huge perspective shifts both for individuals and collectively, and, the opportunity to process some stuff that’s coming up for me and shine a light on the fact that i’m not completely happy where I am right now.
I live with 2 ESTP’s males, an ESFP male, an ISFP male and an INTJ female. None of whom I share similar values with. When I moved into the house, this excited me because it’s important to me to be around people who have different values and opinions to me. It worked well because my work hours mean that i’m generally at work when others are at home, and i get to have the house all to myself for long periods while everyone else is at work. So at the moment it’s overwhelming. The Se around me is overwhelming. So much noise and movement. And i’m noticing every little thing that happens which goes against my values and feeling super (irrationally) irritated and hurt by it all.
I can tell my overwhelmed mood is impact on the 10yo Fe in the house :( who are doubling down in trying to connect with me because they can sense that I’m struggling but can’t pick up that i need space. This is easily fixable with a conversation :) Just an interesting dynamic to point out.
I am definitely the odd one out in the house because they connect with video games, war hammer and banter. I’m not getting enough deep and meaningful’s, and feeling drained by all of the banter. I realise that I have created a similar situation to the one i grew up in.. being the outsider and having different values. So that’s a positive thing, to have this realisation :)
Also excited to be working through some of my enneagram 4 issues. I (irrationally) feel abandoned my close female friends who all have partners who they are quarantining with. And so i’m working through the 4 wounding of never feeling like i’ll get my emotional needs met.
I hope this hasn’t been too bleak! It’s very helpful to share :) The podcast episode was so great. I’m sure many people felt seen, heard and understood. Thank you!
I’m an introvert and am currently living with one other person in the house (significant other). Socially I’m doing pretty well – I do have occasional contact with other friends or family (remotely only, of course). I feel very comfortable with my current levels of social interaction, and I don’t anticipate any change in my outlook on this, atleast in the short term.
I do still get frustrated being stuck in the house all the time. A lot of the outdoor areas where I could go to get out of the house (e.g. parks) have closed, but some a few are still open, so I am still able to go out a bit. However, if I were completely stuck in the house (e.g. the house arrest case that Joel described), I don’t think I would handle that too well.
I appreciate Joel’s and Antonia’s description of an extrovert in their life appearing visibly drained during the current circumstances. Ever since hearing that introverts feel drained when hanging out with people for too long (which is certainly something I experience), I had wondered if the opposite were true for extroverts.
Unfortunately there’s not much I can do to ease the suffering of any extrovert (or introvert for that matter) that’s struggling in this situation, but at the very least, I can recognize the struggle, and encourage you not to blame yourself, as Joel and Antonia mention in this talk.
I certainly agree with the advice given here, that this is a great (if forced) opportunity to slow down, introspect, meditate, etc. That said, I’m an INTJ, so I’m very, very biased in this regard.
In any case, good advice in this podcast, thank you for sharing!
ENFP in quarantine with ESFJ mother and ISTP father. Though my dad is an essential worker, so he’s gone quite a bit.
As an ISTP, my dad will be fine as long as he can still go outside in nature. ESFJ mom is very anxious and a bit too attached to the news, but I think she’s handling it well by spending time sorting through family photos and working on genealogy. So, it’s turned into quality Si time.
As for me, I am fine as long as I don’t think about how long this will last. I’m working on my senior thesis now, so there’s a lot to keep me busy. I tend to isolate when doing schoolwork anyway. Plus, I love reading. I’m an extrovert, but I’ve always been great at entertaining myself. We’ll see how long this lasts. I’m not really sure where the breaking point is.
I’ve also been honoring my Si a lot more by revisiting old photographs, watching tv shows and movies I’ve loved for years, etc.
I think before this, I would have probably said I could do 7 days in complete isolation. But now, no, I’m way too extroverted for that. I would go nuts so quickly. I’d probably end the week angry at everyone, but I’d go with the constant social interaction for a week.
My main strategy is spending time just tuning everything out. I’ve limited my news intake to an hour a day at most (some in the morning and some in the evening). The negative anxiety from the world is really palpable, but I find that I can keep a measure of distance to keep myself sane.
One of my best friends is quarantined with her boyfriend and his parents. She’s an ESFJ, and she’s taking this extremely hard. I sent her a message reminding her to take care of herself since I suspected she has not been. I get a response, “I’m not good at that.” Yes, I know, that’s why I’m telling you. For her, the problem is that she just has lost interest in most things that kept her occupied and doesn’t want to even take a nap. On top of that, she feels physically ill (which clued me into the fact that she probably isn’t drinking enough water, eating well, sleeping enough, or a mixture).
We’re all dealing differently. Since this whole thing has started, another friend told me that she has only had one good night’s sleep. That would be torture. So, I think I’m handling it fairly well. Though if I entertain how long this could last, I want to just start screaming and never stop.