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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how introverts and extraverts deal with the COVID-19 quarantine brought on by the 2020 coronavirus.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Quarantine is tough on everyone.
- Judgers may be having struggles because the quarantine is throwing them out of their routines.
- Extraverted judging functions aren’t getting the nutrients they need from the external world.
- FJs need regular connection with people
- TJs can usually find projects to do around the house
- FJs can try a virtual happy hour with friends.
- IPs like freedom in the outer world so they can test out ideas and emotions.
- Some Perceivers may feel like they are living Groundhog’s Day
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Leverage point for Introverts quarantined by self:
- Get out of the house and go for walks
- Forest bathing
- Qigong
- Chakra meditation
- Energy platforms
- We don’t know when this quarantine is going to lift.
- EPs need variety, novelty, and freedom of movement
- Get to work on projects that have been languishing
- We are being forced to slow down
- When we don’t have distractions, we have to sit with the life we have made for ourselves.
- If you are quarantined by yourself, you may have emotions coming up that you have managed to distract yourself from until now.
- Old trauma
- Unprocessed emotions
- This quarantine is like an enforced vipassana retreat
- If stuff is coming up for you, this may be a gift
- Look at your life
- What are the leverage points of change?
- Get your priorities in line
- Why do I have this job?
- Why do I hang out with these people?
- This may require some of us to re-evaluate our finances
- How self-indulgent have you been?
- Extraverts trapped with people – the same people – no variety
- Earbuds are important
- Get up early or stay up late to get your alone time.
- Great time to reconnect with your family through group activities
- Someone on Twitter said divorces would likely go up after this
- Try to differentiate between the stress of a relationship that is complete and the stress of the situation.
- What is the source code of the explosion?
- Is it yours? Or are you overwhelmed by the emotions of others?
- Introverts trapped with people may already have coping mechanisms in place
- Isolated with kids can cause problems because a lot of parent’s systems are unavailable
- A lot of introverts may get their alone time on their commute or while their partner is working
- Grace goes a long way
- Apologize when needed
- Don’t be too hard on yourself or others.
- Grace allows us to let things go, and it is healthy for us.
- One of the ways we find connection is through social media
- There’s a lot of negativity in the news and on social media
- Curse: May you live in interesting times
- What are you feeding your mind?
- If you feel overly negative, check what you are feeding yourself.
- The news can dump toxins in us.
- Challenge: Micro gratitude expression
- Post on social media something that you are grateful for
- It will train you to start looking for things you can be thankful for
- It will change the trajectory of online messaging
- Caught in the Act: At dinner, everyone says something good about every member of the family
- One person can offset millions in terms of positive, energetic output
- Be a force for good in the world
- Make it your responsibility to counteract the negative energy around us.
- That means you can’t stay in a bad place.
- What is going on for you?
- What leverage points have you discovered in this experience?
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38 comments
Hi Antonia,
Thank you so much for your reply. I think I was being a bit dramatic with the capitalisation of ‘exact’ in the hopes you would be more likely to read it ? It means a lot to get your reply and wise words re defending myself against the collective darkness – I definitely do personalise the feelings and situations I encounter so it is good to be reminded that it’s ok not to take it all on and it’s ok to protect myself. Best wishes x
Hi!
ESTJ here :) really enjoyed listening to your podcast from The Netherlands :). We have a lockdown similar to other countries the US I think.
I really liked the podcast as it explained so much abput the different experiences that I hear from friends and colleagues so thank you for that!
Of course, this is a horrible crisis.. people getting sick, and dying.. seeing horrible reports on whats going on all over the world.. I really hope we can fight corona effectively..!
For me personally though, I do really see an opportunity! I work in data so my work is pretty much the same. Before is crisis
I’ve been working on a project for which is was very hard for me to find the time. Also meditating just 15 minutes was hard to schedule as I also do a lot with friends, going to the gym etc. But now, I have a lot more time and it feels like I can timebox everything so so well! Taking a walk, work, home workout, project, friend call and mealplanning… everything fits in my daily life now. So thats something that I really enjoy now that I actually can benefit from timeboxing.
There is also a flip side, because I also notice that it pulls me to the extreme of control. So in the supermarket I can get very aggetated when people are getting to close or don’t follow “the rules”. So I do also practise a lot with small sentences in my head that pull be out of the frustration. Also I practise the loving-kindness meditation daily, it really helps me to act from a place of kindness :)
Thanks so much for your podcast, I really enjoy listening and learn so much from it again and again.
Stay healthy & stay safe
Lotte
INFJ here.
The aspects of quarantine that have been challenging for me have revolved around productivity, social comparison, and personal growth.
I have much more time on my hands, and I use that time to better myself through learning and achieving new things, and developing my co-pilot (Fe: healthy boundaries, working on the martyr/guilting complex, reframing victim talk into creator talk). I’m finding that I’m putting the value of my self-worth on achieving my goals instead of honoring the process. While I have very few responsibilities right now, I feel as though I need to conquer the world at this time, and anything short of that is unacceptable.
While others appear to be telling me what they’re doing for pure conversation, I can’t help but think that when I do it I’m trying to prove myself or validate my self-worth.
I’ve been taking time to step back into my heart, and be less defensive. However, it’s challenging when I don’t feel as though I have much to offer.
I find that social connection grounds me, and now that I’m lacking it I’ve been finding ways to take responsibility for my own emotions and feelings. While it’s a difficult lesson to learn, it’s an important one.
While I’m not thankful for the mass tragedy that’s occuring around the world, I feel as though COVID-19 represents this wise old sage teaching us what we need to learn the most at this time…and I’m thankful for that.
I’m an ENFP quarantined with my ISTJ husband and our just turned 3 year old and soon to be 2 year old!!! Not a whole lot has changed for me since I am typically a stay at home mom during the day; however, I am a singer/songwriter who does shows at least twice a week this time of year, so it feels so heavy to me even if it isn’t super different during the daytime. I related to using this time to do things we haven’t gotten around to, because I have finally utilized some time to go live with some solo shows playing guitar for myself rather than always relying on my duo partner at our live shows. My husband has been helpful to keep the girls entertained when I am able to schedule this as often as possible without my feeling too guilty for disappearing in the house. This is an issue as I have devoted and continue to devote so much of my life to my girls, it is hard for me to feel like I can use this time to spend on myself. Especially when I feel like I am always surrounded.
My family though is having the most fun on days we get to spend the more time outside whether it is in our yard or going for walks. It is definitely as helpful as you say it is! My husband is working from home though, so he is getting all sorts of alone time in his office and then does an insanity call with co-workers where they play a game and hang out for a bit. I am trying to figure out a way to be more organized and proactive with schedules and such but typically my expectations for these things gets knocked right out of the window by the toddlers…Lol So projects and priorities feel really tough to handle when my girls need so much of my attention. It is rough not getting the break during play dates or dropping them off with good friends so that I can focus on some me time. And FaceTime chats with family almost always involve the girls fighting over who will hit the end button or hold the ipad so it is almost more stressful for me to include that in our day to day life. But sometimes I buckle my youngest at least and set it far enough away and propped so they can see Nanny and she talks with them while I try to get something done…Lol and of course when my youngest is asleep, my 3 year old does quiet time and sometimes continues to interrupt what I am trying to accomplish..so it’s just all a lot…
This is all weighing on my internal thought process of where my husband and I are at also but my goodness he is so sweet and tries to understand how complicated I am with all of my feelings and need for change, but he just doesn’t get it. I am so thankful though that I can continue my therapy sessions through video chat and that it encourages me to stay consistent with meditation and journal entries because it truly helps me process things in a better light. But goodness I struggle with consistency if I weren’t held accountable. I am also thankful that I get to start most of my days with Camp Gladiator doing community workouts with a trainer through Zoom!! It has been a saving grace for sure. I am curious though, since I am an ENFP like you Joel, what would you suggest I focus on working on the most if through my life, I have always felt insecure or shot down like my ideas or thoughts don’t make any sense? Because of this, I find the part of me that is supposed to be good at coming up with ideas is completely terrified and suppressed into thinking that I don’t have any anymore. I often feel inferior to my husband or like he is going to think I’m outlandish if I offer up any ideas. I feel like this is a crucial time for me to be working through these things and find a way to improve my personal development and how he and I understand and love each other for who we are. Because as you can see by our types, we are super different! Like how many times I used the word “feel” there? Lol
I love my family so much and we do have some really special moments with all of this time together, but I will be so thankful when my husband and I can have a date night out or I can take the girls to friends just so I can go walk around the mall or something…anything! Lol
Thank you guys for what you do! I enjoy and appreciate your podcast so very much! :) Sorry for the book!
“If you either of you dear personality hackers do read this, it would mean a lot to me at this EXACT point in time with all the disconnection etc if you could drop a quick word to say you have received my comment. Thank you!”
I’m unsure when that exact point in time was, but I fully read and appreciate your comment. Take extra care to defend yourself against darkness in the collective unconscious.
A