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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how we can manage life changes during a disruptive event like the current global pandemic.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- NLP: Pattern interrupt
- We are experiencing a considerable pattern interrupt right now
- It’s shifting people – inside and out
- How do we make changes in this pressure-cooker environment?
- “The macro mirrors the micro, and the micro mirrors the macro.”
- The changes in entire societies can mirror what is happening to the individual, and vice versa.
- Electing a narcissistic leader shouldn’t be surprising in a narcissistic society.
- Pattern interrupts cause us to stop and pay attention to what is happening on autopilot.
- The universe throws us these pattern interrupts all the time.
- Stuff is bubbling to the surface in people’s lives right now.
- “What actually matters to me?”
- Pattern interrupts change how you see things.
- The pandemic is interrupting our external systems, which forces us to analyze our internal systems.
- If you haven’t looked at the programming of your GPS in awhile, this can be very destabilizing.
- Once you start cutting out noise, other signals begin to get in.
- If your go-to distraction is no longer available to you, the thoughts you’ve been avoiding will start to get through.
- People are making major life choices right now in a time when it seems like the worst possible time.
- People are getting their fill of distractions.
- Action follows significant changes.
- It’s easy to quit your job when everyone is out of work because there is no requirement of action in a quarantine.
- Or maybe the quarantine is giving us our space to think through the decisions we need to make.
- “No matter what happens, it is to my benefit.”
- Sometimes we don’t see the benefit of a situation until long afterward.
- This situation is pretty horrifying, but it can be to our benefit.
- Less anxiety. More grace. More space.
- Make peace with the changes.
- Self-care isn’t always a glass of wine with a bubble bath.
- Self-nourishment implies more depth.
- It’s our responsibility to own our triggers.
- Be responsible for your emotions.
- Don’t hand yourself over to your triggers.
- Your emotions aren’t the only show in town.
- 20 tokens per week. Each token represents 30 minutes on a device.
- They can’t be hoarded.
- No more than 2 hours on a weekday and 4 hours on weekends.
- They can turn in the tokens for money at the end of the week.
- This is happening for us, not to us.
- “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
- It’s time to be an adult.
- You are the decision point in your life.
- It is seductive to believe somebody else has got this.
- YOU are the person who has this. YOU overcome the obstacles.
- This is the basis for self-esteem.
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13 comments
Hello:)
I get annoyed as I feel I’m always playing catch up :D. My insights for 3 podcasts ago bleed into the most recent podcasts and I don’t want to leave a 1000 word comment.
It sounds like you guys are doing awesome! The morning Yoga and meditation sounds wonderful… and go Gunner! Can I swap with mine so you can train him too?
I enjoyed you’re thoughts around the Si skill development being a form of nourishment, Antonia. I feel the same way about my Se workout.
I have been kicking the situation with my son’s father down the road for quite some time.
Although we are no longer together, I have still allowed him to take alot of my energy.
He disappears from our sons life if I don’t give him the attention he wants and it means I get even less of a break than I normally do. I grew up without a father around and it really upsets me to think of that happening to him.
2 weeks ago, I told him that I wasn’t going carry on the way we were and he disappeared. It’s been hard on my heart when my son asks for his dad, and as i’m determined to keep this change I don’t know if and when he’ll be back.
I say this not because it’s causing me ongoing stress, it’s actually making me feel more capable of going it totally alone.
I have also been thinking about changing direction in regards to my vocation. I get pretty stuck on many things though. I didn’t finish secondary school (high school). While I went to college and university to study Art and I am pretty good at creative writing and critical analysis of art and culture, I lack alot of practical skills.
I love creating Art and I don’t want to stop, but it doesn’t feel like I’m making full use of myself. I do feel and know inside that I have value, I also know that I have helped many people. My lack of self esteem comes from not really knowing how to articulate what I do in a way that could make it a way to sustainain myself.
I know that supposedly INFJs make good Therapists/Counsellors/Coaches etc, I feel like I don’t have a huge bandwith. I feel at my best when I can go deep into my mind, it feels natural for me to do but this takes quite alot of time and energy and I couldn’t do this with many people at a time. I feel torn between bredth vs depth and which side I should develop.
I have taught many of my friends MBTI and they indulge me when I talk about weird stuff, they are interested to a certain extent (they are pretty much all sensors) but nowhere close to where I want to go:-D
You said a couple of podcasts ago about people maybe feeling embittered by systems failing them. I used to until I realized that everything is evolving all the time, I haven’t expected systems to have all the answers for a long time. How boring would that be!! There would be nothing left to learn:)
Thankyou as always for sharing yourselves!
Best Wishes
hi joel and antonia
it’s so nice whenever you talk about NLP !!
i got awaken the giant within by tony robbins because of your recommendation—the pattern interruption idea is very helpful.
i also love this idea about there being no one in a board room planning out our life path. it’s empowering.
i actually recently wrote a short story about the concept. in it i use the committee as a metaphor for what the character’s psychological defenses are about.
also.. self esteem= the ability to overcome obstacles and being able to rest into one self as a result .. AMAZING. concise, smart, useful. thank you!
there are several interesting concepts in this episode and i’m just naming a few! you two are amazing. thank you for everything you’re doing to make the world a better place to be! !!
Hi Joel and Antonia,
Thanks for doing an episode on this! I just saw a family in our neighbourhood moving yesterday, in fact, and i think i see a 50/50 divide of people “locking things down” and people making earth-shaking life changes.
A significant thing i’ve noticed is people being extraordinarily immature. It might be due to the fact that i’m 18 years old and most of my friends are still 17 or a little younger (mostly 2002 kids), and teenagers are not pinnacles of maturity. A lot of my friends have started picking random fights and throwing tantrums, which makes me and our other friends feel terrible. Thus, i’ve been staying off social media and talking to only trusted friends who i know will not dump their messes onto my head every day.
My type is ESTP, for reference. A lot of my friends are Ne or Fe dominant types. The ones who throw fits tend to be Fi types, whether dominant or auxiliary. My friendships with xNFPs tend to be hit or miss…but i won’t even begin to describe what an unhealthy, teenaged Fi-type looks like in quarantine. Oh my goodness XD
And what you said about realizing that we’re the adults of our lives and we’re responsible really hit home. I do live with my parents (praying that i can move out to university in September) but i’ve been realizing the last few years that they can’t fix my messes, even if they partake in creating the messes in my life. My mom (ISTJ) has some serious issues with being “triggered”, as Antonia mentioned, and has a lot of trouble handling the children’s reactions – she always, always gets mad. She is a master chef and cooks meals for 6 people every day, so i have to give her credit for being a mom that way, but i feel like i have to be a mom emotionally. An Enneagram 1 who can’t bear not being true to her word (even though it contradicts principles that should be clear to any parent, in my opinion), my mother has my 8-year-old sister (ExFJ) watching TV at 9:30pm because she “promised” my sister TV time earlier in the day and forgot about it. When i told my mom that kids shouldn’t be watching TV that late, and that night screen time disrupts sleep, she just got angry at me for challenging her parenting. Challenging her for being inconsistent with her rules also leads to temper tantrums.
There are also times my dad (INTJ) got frustrated at me because work was tough on him, but my mom has just been an absolute emotional child. I guess teenagers make for good emotional punching bags, eh? I mean, i handle it smoothly enough because i’m used to my mom throwing fits, but my air of calmness and groundedness just makes her more triggered. Oh well, i just talk to my sister one-on-one sometimes to teach her stuff. It just hits hard nowadays because i have to learn to manage school, job search in the summer, learn to live by myself (learning to cook a lot of dishes right now), and partially raise my sister while actually taking care of her health.
A lot of my friends are asking me for math help, because i love math and i’m going for a math major in university starting September. But i just can’t feel bothered all the time. I do try to help when i’m able to, but i’m really trying to set boundaries and put my own health/development first, and people are sincerely making it difficult, and i don’t appreciate it. Well, i’ve gone through worse than this pandemic (personally), so i’ve just got to take these challenges in my stride and learn from them. Character building in difficult times is everything. I just wanted to share my side of the story, i guess.
In terms of relationships, i haven’t heard about any breakups. My boyfriend of 3 years (ENFP) and i had a few fights, and those were hard and emotionally draining, but we got through them and set new personal development goals afterwards. Since then, he’s been nothing short of amazing towards me – supportive, mature, understanding, FUN, and honest. I’ve also been doing my best to support him too. However, we’re going to play Minecraft together soon, and i have a lot of secret evil plans to troll him in our survival world!
Thanks for reading my story, and thanks again for sharing yours. You are definitely making a difference! I’ll be sharing your podcast with those trusted, non-triggered friends of mine.
I hope the rest of quarantine goes well for you!
Jess :)