PHQ | QUESTIONS: How To Develop Co-Pilot As An Introvert
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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how introverts can develop their extraverted co-pilot process without getting overwhelmed.
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I’ve returned to this podcast several times as an INFJ because I think this concept of energy management is so important. I’ve found myself recently feeling overwhelmed at a new job that focuses heavily on socializing and Si/Te activities like paperwork and scheduling. So, to add to the discussion, I think it’s important that we introverts make sure we have plenty of introverted time (that is dominant introvert function time) during the day prior to reaching out to that copilot process. Perhaps this is an INxJ thing more so, but I’ve found it challenging to get enough Ni time so that I’ll have energy to socialize and contribute to other demands from the day. I’m curious if anyone has found any hacks to increasing their Ni time during the day at work?
I’ve been jumping back and listening to many of the older podcast episodes, and this one stood out for me in particular because I am always open to ideas and ways to improve that co-pilot. Good insight! I am definitely realizing how important good energy management is for me, and not overextending myself in the outside/social world. I would say that watching particular movies or shows can be an excellent door into your Fi world though, especially the ones that maybe help you feel strong emotions, or something with really engaging storytelling. In my own experience as an Fi/Ne user, movies can also be a really strong trigger for Ne if it has an element of fascination to me… it’s not always immediate, but some stories (or elements of the story) will stick in my mind and really engage my extroverted intuition later on. The movies Inception and Pan’s Labyrinth are two of those that instantly come to mind! If you write stories or like to imagine and create them in your head, then cinema can really fuel that creative world-building, too. After all (and as they say) nothing is original; just a mashup of previous works. Or something like that.
I think we have to watch out for that we are not mixing up our co-pilot-stuff with the inferior-stuff. They take up the same space (sort of) and we can often mistake the one for the other. Which is part of the process of weeding this out. That is often exactly why we do not want to go there. For an INFP Ne and Te can be difficult to separate. But if you can find ways to go into Ne without touching Te (for now) to take care of your needs there it will help a lot. Baby Te is very exhausting to go into.
That was a really good one on how to develop co-pilot process especially for me as an INFP.
Things I’ve been trying to exercise my co-pilot exploration process: play genres of games that I don’t usually prefer, like RPG, shooting, obstacle and high adrenalin games.
Another major one I’m doing is scheduling my time differently. I am quite a fan of the book 7 habits of effective people, so I’ve been thinking about my different roles and the top few tasks to do per week in my scheduling, and because I work in spurts, I usually allocate about 20-25min blocks to the different tasks I am doing. I’m also more of a morning person than afternoon/night person; I can’t get anything done once I get home at night, or just basically when I’m in the house, and I do like to socialize quite a lot with friends though I am an introvert, so I leave evening time for time with friends, walking around the neighborhood and relaxing etc. This schedule has been serving me rather well for a number of years but I feel that I’ve reached a plateau in terms of managing my time and energy around it. So, really trying out different ways to schedule, and probably leaving it more flexible than fixed just to try things out for a bit.
This is great. Hey Charis, I am an INTP. It sounds like you are one too? I realized that as I get more in tune with my feeling and experiencing more and more flow experiences my VOICE starts to change. I don’t think it’s just me getting older ( I am 32. Artist/entrepreneur ), I realize whenever I am in my “ELEMENT” my voice gets lower……what is up with that? With my closest friends and my husband my voice can get SUPER deep as I get into my “THINKING” mode. Does that happen to other INTP/FPS?
Hi Wenwen! Actually, I am an INFJ. I used to think I was an INTP for a long time, though. I still show a preference for Ti, but it gets me into trouble when I use it over Fe.
As to your voice, Thinkers voices typically show less inflection than Feelers. And they will usually get more robotic in their speech as they try and get their point across. And by robotic, I mean flat, even tones, so the information comes across clearly.
I hope that answers your question. 🙂 Btw, I am flattered that you think I express myself like an INTP. I love INTPs!
This was super helpful! I’ve been hesitant to really get into my copilot because it does seem so daunting as an introvert. Sometimes I think my driver Authenticity doesn’t get enough love, so I feel like I don’t have the energy to get into my Exploration. Journaling and creative expression sounds like a great thing that I’ve kind of fallen out of lately. I love the idea of practicing the extroverted function in your daily activities. I’m going to have to be extroverted at some point during the day, it might as well be Exploration. Very interesting. I’ll have to do that!
Hi CrystalOak! Thanks for your comment. The best way for an Ni user to recharge is through meditation and quiet times of contemplation. Journaling is good. Quiet walks in nature. Make sure you are getting uninterrupted alone time to allow your mind to drift.
In my experience, you can’t exercise your Harmony copilot virtually. You need to be able to interact with people’s energies and see and feel the benefits you are bringing to them. Virtual Harmony is pretty thankless and there is going to be more of a drain on your energies as you give and give and give and rarely receive the kind of positive feedback that is so necessary to INFJs.
We need to know we are helping people. Someone typing out “Thanks!” in a Facebook group and sending a happy face emoticon doesn’t feed our need to feel the difference we are making. I stay away from most Facebook groups because I find they are extremely disruptive to my mental and emotional state.
But that’s just my experience. How do you feel after spending a lot of time on FB? Do you feel intense love for the people you meet there? Or do you feel negative and drained? Ultimately, the path you choose for growth is up to you.
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate that.
I do love to allow my mind to wander and one of the best weekend days is for me to have the house to myself (my cats don’t count) and just “potter”, do the housework as I feel like doing it, take time to stand in the garden and look at my flowers, and just be. So that’s great that I am doing that.
I can also see what you are saying about online support groups. I used to offer face to face healing and ran a meditation group but my day job was draining me so much I didn’t have the energy to give to people in that environment. I gave up promoting my healing and cancelled my meditation group, and I must admit, I do feel pretty lost now. So I need to find a way to do that more. I’m guessing more of the “pottering” is needed somehow to recharge me enough to do the healing work.
In online groups where relationships are formed I do find I get enough feedback, and I enjoy blogging too, but I kind of kid myself that someone is reading it. Some groups really fire me up, some wear me out. I tend to leave the latter pretty fast.
Thank you for your insight, this has given me something to think about.
Have a great day!
This is a really great podcast like all the other content i have been binging on for the past 2 days here on this sight 🙂
I appreciate both Crystal’s comment and your feedback. It figures that one of us INFJ would have responded first on this 🙂
I particularly have a challenge understanding how to develop my co-pilot Fe in a way that makes sense to me and life. As Antonia said feelings are unreliable. Yet I am deeply invested in personal growth and development, interested in what is inspiring and unlimiting like my Ni affords me and what makes sense.
I have responsibilities and bills to pay. But if I fall into my Fe I may feel like doing nothing, I may be inconsistent, unreliable, and may show up as irresponsible and never accomplish anything.
Is this a legitimate concern or is this an indication that perhaps I am using my 10 year old Ti correctly. I think if I can get a real life example of the infj cognitive processes mapped to actual life activities and see how these fits together to create a sensible, sustainable, yet successful infj life it would be really helpful for my Ni to begin to run with.
Thank you 🙂
Thanks for the comment, L! To quote you:
“I have responsibilities and bills to pay. But if I fall into my Fe I may feel like doing nothing, I may be inconsistent, unreliable, and may show up as irresponsible and never accomplish anything.”
You aren’t describing Fe here. This doesn’t even sound much like tertiary Ti. It sounds like Tertiary or inferior Fi.
Hi… I’ve listened to the podcast and I love it, but I have a couple of questions.
I’m INFJ and it seems like you skipped over us in your examples. Can you give some examples on how I recharge using my introverted intuition?
Also, would spending time on fb support groups, offering healing and running spiritual groups be a good used of my copilot? Am I right in thinking if I am not so great at self care that would also be included?
Loved the podcast, just trying to work out, with my still limited understanding, how to apply it to my life.
Keep up the awesome work