Personality Types & Self Awareness | Podcast 0457

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In this podcast Joel and Antonia talk about awareness from the perspectives of different personality types.

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Showing 13 comments
  • Brendi
    Reply

    I’m very far behind on the podcast and just started listening to this series. About 10 min in and I gotta say, Joel, that your description of self awareness and what it mean to you regarding other people not being self aware, and the consequences for you, and the reason others self awareness is a criteria for you, strikes me as having to do with Enneagram type. It screams social 6.

  • Heather
    Reply

    A few months ago I went through the Life Path Journal for my type (ENTJ). That experience increased my self awareness. Specifically, as part of the journal – defining my personal values, and separating from values I have taken on from others that are inauthentic to me, continues pay high dividends for me. I am seeing, when you define and articulate your own values it does something nigh unto magical inside of you. Suddenly you are able to make decisions with clarity. You are able to stop doing things that are disingenuous for you. You are able to stand on your own instead of propping yourself up on your perception of others’ opinions of you or on comparing your choices to others’ choices for their lives (which are probably disingenuous for them to a large extent anyway.) You greatly reduce the need to compete (largely in your mind) in order to give yourself value in your own eyes. I am repeatedly being surprised by the effect this is having on me.

    I think, until you really know what your values are, you continually live in a state of dissonance with your self and it causes problems all over the place. The way I have been saying it to myself is, “We are ineffective because we don’t know who we are. We are resentful because we let others tell us.” (When I say “we” I of course mean “I.”) When we don’t know who we are, and are trying to live according to others’ values coming from outside ourselves, we are ineffective because we don’t really know what we are doing or why. There is no vision. It results in a herky jerky dance through life trying to understand and respond to what others are thinking/doing. In addition, our hearts are not truly invested in the things we’ve built a life around. There is no energy. When you have vision and energy that are synergistic and are pointing in the same direction you suddenly have a way forward and can go at it apace. I believe a lot of resentment builds when we allow others to define us and “dictate” our view of ourselves/choices even though we are the ones making the choice to let them “dictate” all along; we just don’t know that’s what we are doing. It seems in that case we are continually working at crosswise purposes, even if unconsciously. This results in ineffectiveness and blame, and we lose (read “give away”) our agency which, by definition, makes it so we cannot solve the problem.

    I will say, this is not only requiring loads of courage from me, but is giving me courage at the same time. That said, it is a scary transition – to live out of one’s authentic self v.s. doing what will make others happy and approve of you.

    It is so great to have mentors and tools that can help increase one’s self awareness and lead one to one’s own true values (among other things) which, apparently, heals and bolsters one from the inside. It is truly amazing to watch the collateral beauty of the “simple” act of defining my own values. “Profound” is not too strong a word. Thank you PH!

  • E
    Reply

    Humility feels like a real marker of maturity for me— “observing the paradoxes within” as Antonia just said in the podcast— as well as knowing one’s own tics: your personal strengths and weaknesses in outer and inner worlds. I’m a big believer in taking responsibility for oneself (huge), but I’m an INFJ and through training, I feel this urgency to help. So the caveat is “*and* responsibility for oneself only,” as through hard lessons I’ve discovered that people need to learn their own lessons. So as a part of maturity, the equanimity to allow others space to grow and learn without applying judgment (or work on decreasing levels of it, anyway)— AND while still keeping self safe (!)] It’s a lot.

  • Ryan INFP
    Reply

    I have been thinking about it after listening to this podcast. All these years never tried to look at my self from an outside perspective I actually had a vivid full of meaning dream for the first time in years. I always considered myself to be nobody else is business. What Joel was saying at the start of the podcast is pretty much my feeling towards self awareness. I think its clear that it is mainly FE or FI Fe being concerned with others Fi not concerned with others when i say not concerned i mean in the view of other people. I would say this though i believe the way i think allows me to be impartial like Dario Nardi was saying trying not to have an agenda do not get me wrong i always put myself in other peoples shoes trying to figure out their motive or direction. I talking about everything with vey little self awareness almost like children. I had no external self awareness has a child. My dream was a massive confirmation that i do not trust people.

    • Ryan INFP
      Reply

      I read my comment back and realised their is more information in my head so that comment is very much a tiny fraction of what i want to say i just find it impossible to get it out of my head so it is readable lack of TI and not taking education seriously.

      • Antonia Dodge
        Reply

        I appreciate you sharing your thoughts even when it’s hard to fully express.

        -A-

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      Dreams are important. I know it’s difficult to communicate the full weight of how your dream impacted you, but I still appreciate you sharing your experience.

      -A-

  • Trevor (INTJ)
    Reply

    Interesting topic, I look forward to both of you diving into this topic further.

    About Antonia’s ending, it’s all good. I was impressed that you showed vulnerability and didn’t just edit the ending. Thank you for that.

  • Ron Anderson
    Reply

    Self awareness seems to be more highly developed in my type than in other types. For INTP self awareness is a continuous and unending preoccupation. Certainly for this INTP. However, my studies are only peripherally Western. I am interested in type but I have also been studying Tibetan Buddhism at a high level in the Gelugpa Tibetan Buddhist tradition – since 2005. The Western conception of self is problematic for me – I have come to accept that the self is illusory. Self awareness is useful, but ultimately that needs to underpin the realisation that perceptions of self are all a self deception. You may think this is woo-woo but that is where I am at.

    • Candace
      Reply

      When I think of self-awareness, I think of an informal choir experience I had in grad school. There was a song with a solo, and there was a girl determined to sing that solo. She was sure she sounded great, but she did not. Another girl in the group had professional voice training and sounded incredible. But even after tryouts, the first girl–still oozing confidence–was not about to back down.

      I remember being amazed at that first girl’s shocking lack of self-awareness. Not only did she not realize she could barely carry a tune, but she also did not pick up on the extreme awkwardness of her demands and claims, the discomfort of those of us watching and listening as things played out, or the talent of the girl who deserved the solo. When someone lacks self-awareness, it can be painful to be around. But the choir director made it worse by not immediately announcing who would sing the solo.

      So I think self-awareness has to involve internal metrics and external metrics. When either set of metrics gets skewed–for example, by abuse that keeps a person from feeling internally competent or by undeserved praise that convinces people they are more skilled than they really are–bad things happen. This is the danger of participation trophies and other artificial self-esteem forming experiences that don’t accurately reflect reality.

      We need enough internal awareness to hold on to our sense of value if the externals are skewed by a broken family or bad school system or whatever, but we need enough external awareness to recognize the value of others and appropriately assess ourselves and our limits in comparison to a standard that exists outside ourselves. That’s a tricky balance–tricky like balancing the voices in a choir, and just as damaged by a bad voice that slips in where it shouldn’t be.

      But going back to the choir story– In an unexpected twist, the choir director gave the solo to his son’s girlfriend–who hadn’t tried out and wasn’t part of the class. 🤣🤣🤣 What a mess.

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      Introverted Thinking (Accuracy) disassociates from the self, so it has an advantage in certain aspects of self-awareness. It can receive what others would consider painful feedback or self-assessment without getting triggered as easily. That said, it’s not the function to assess how things are making us feel, so us xxTP types can sometimes be painfully unaware of how we’re being impacted by things emotionally until they sneak up on us.

      Thanks for the comment!

      -A-

  • Immanuel
    Reply

    Listening to this increased my self-awareness

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