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INFJ-Personality-type In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.

In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:

  • This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
  • We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
  • INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
  • 2 important components to understand INFJs:
  1. Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
  2. INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
  • INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
  • The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
  • It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
  • INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
  • INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
  • Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
  • Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
  • INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
  • If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
    • You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
    • Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
    • When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
    • Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
    • Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
    • You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
    • Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.

Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:

Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)

The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)

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Deep dive podcast on the #INFJ personality type. #MBTI

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306 comments

  • Violet
    • Violet
    • October 7, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    What you’re missing is that the majority of so-called INFJs online actually have preferences for INFP, are mis-typed, and drown out those with true INFJ preferences. :-(

    C.G. Jung wrote, “[Introverted feeling] manifests itself for the most part negatively.… It comes out with negative judgments or assumes an air of profound indifference as a means of defense.… Their temperament is inclined to melancholy.”
    “Psychological Types,” p. 387

    When somebody is incessantly whining or griping about how misunderstood they are, or talking about how depressed they are, it’s a sign that INFJ is not a fit for their personality.

  • Sean
    • Sean
    • October 7, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    Thank you to you, both, for articulating my suffering. This particular podcast helped me take a few steps back from the edge of the cliff.

    The description of giving until depletion is my greatest obstacle to achieving my OWN personal dreams. I am coming on 45 years of living and no matter what I have tried I can’t seem to stop hitting the bottom of the pool. I allow people to suck me dry. Morever, the “victim” role moves in and I am fully depressed for days. Sometimes weeks. Then the cycle repeats itself. It is nonstop: everyone wants something from me. I can feel and identify when I am sinking with the emotional sandbags of others tied to my ankles, but I am AFRAID to remove myself and invest in me. Probably has to do with my childhood traumas.

    Anyway, thank you, again. I really appreciate your work.

  • Rose
    • Rose
    • October 7, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Wow. This podcast is shared on an Infj group in Facebook and I really loved it I had to comment you know!

    What resonated me the most is your advice on how not to be a jar of other people’s emotions and just be a conduit.

    I also loved ur advice about pampering yourself on a daily basis, working on your needs because as an InFJ, i think ive been thinking about other people’s needs all my life that I am forgetting myself… Feeling that it is fine for me to feel it when it’s not. Really.

    Thank you for this. Keep up the good work! _

  • Joel Mark Witt
    • Joel Mark Witt
    • October 7, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Thanks for the comment Thomas.

  • Joel Mark Witt
    • Joel Mark Witt
    • October 7, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Thanks for the comment Julian. Yes – we should probably do a podcast on INTJs at some point. And yes ENTJs do use “Perspectives” (technical name: Introverted Intuition) as their preferred learning style.

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