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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about ways to get past your personality and discover who you are underneath.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Recent program on Enneagram with Dr. Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes.
- How the Enneagram system talks about Personality.
- What does it mean to be ‘in personality’?
- The willingness to see the self as having unhealthy patterns.
- How the ‘I am the type of person that…’ statements keep us stuck.
- The example of doubling down on introversion.
- The role of ego in protecting us from criticism.
- Maturity defined as = not needing to be lied to.
- The metaphor of playing hide and seek with your child, and how maturity changes the rules of the game.
- Is our hypersensitivity caused by the rejection of dark parts within ourselves?
- Fighting what emerges from the unconscious: a personal share from Joel as a Social 6 in the Enneagram.
- “Personality is who you are not, but who are you without it?”
- How can we use ‘getting offended’ as an arrow pointing back at the self?
- Oneness and why the other is ultimately a representation of you.
- What is it that I am protecting myself from seeing because I don’t think I can handle it?
- The fear of losing the ‘good parts’ of ourselves.
- Going from creating new pathways to taking responsibility for all your mental wiring and your world-view.
- Turning yourself into an action, a verb beyond the labels.
- Philosopher Ken Wilber, work on spiral dynamics, axiom: wake up, grow up, clean up, show up.
- Defining what it means to ‘grow up’ and ‘clean up’.
- Uranio Paes: “Psychological work without spiritual work is incomplete, spiritual work without psychological work is dangerous.”
- How the world is waking up and showing up, and why the ‘clean up’ part is the hardest of all.
- How has the notion of ‘growing up’ evolved over the years?
- Start with cleaning your room – Jordan Peterson – 12 Rules for Life
- What does ‘doing the work’ of moving into your true essence look like?
- Projection illustrated – INFJs and narcissists, and how every type struggles with some form of projection.
- Applying these concepts to Myers Briggs – how type can lead to one-sidedness.
- Making the ‘unconscious conscious’ when it comes to your Myers Briggs type.
- Where have you become one-sided?
- Where you fixed/stuck in your personality?
- Owning your triggers.
- Share your stories below!
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16 comments
Great episode. It made me feel very fortunate that I discovered all of this in my established adult life to middle age. That foundation of maturity has already been laid. Or maybe I am deluding myself. :-D
Disclosure or disclaimer: I identify with ENFP and largely express 7-ness.
I was surprised at the single focus of this podcast, unless I missed something, on “growth as fixing”. Clearly, this is the Shadowwork that is so very productive, necessary and healing, and must not be denied. However, throughout the podcast, I found myself anticipating but not hearing a parallel of “Growth as increasing” (or something like that)
I admit that I am perhaps in the pre-conscious state of effective denial (a marvelous and addictive La-La Land of false comfort and delight, I must say), but I kept seeing a different way, that growth is more of wholeness increasing in its capacity for more, greater, broader Wholeness. The Falsities of which you spoke often simply flee in the Light of more wholeness, being Shadows that they are. As I walk out of a sense of actual and internal completeness forward into the expanded and expanding Completeness, I am, maybe, I think, perhaps, at least sometimes, outpacing the Shadowman without turning around and pointing my finger in his face. I’ve used a lot of mixed metaphor, so it could well be that I’m not exceedingly clear in this. I’d love some questions and comments!
Hi Monica, you are very fortunate to have not ever met a narcissist. You can google “What is a Narcissist?” and come up with a huge number of descriptions.
I believe I’ve had some people with some narcissistic behaviors in my life. My mother, my husband, and a couple of bosses come to mind, as well as some young men I dated back in college.
I don’t believe there has been an explosion of narcissism. People with some narcissistic behaviors have always been around. Those of us with Ni dominant probably see a pattern of behaviors in some people, have been hurt by them, google these (hurtful) behaviors, the term “narcissist” comes up, and we go “Aha! Now we have a name for this!” And, they (we) gather in online groups and the term explodes.
I’m an INTJ woman, and in one online group I belong to, a member stated she believed most, if not all men, were borderline narcissists. Wow! My first reaction was to agree, until I heard this podcast. As Antonia mentioned, there is a little bit of narcissist in all of us, so some of it may be a projection, not a full, official, professional diagnosis. It’s something to explore inside ourselves, and I have some work to do.
Monica, if you ever meet a real narcissist, be careful. They are not easy to recognize until after the fact, many times.
Antonia hang it there! So many of us listeners really love and appreciate all that you and Joel do. Good luck with this trial or dark night of the soul that you’re going through.
I am INFJ I never met a narcissist in my life. I am really curious about narcissists I ask around a lot “have you ever met a narcissist in your life? What are they like?” I wish I can meet at least one narcissist to complete my life experience on this planet called EARTH.