Download Episode Here – right click link and select “Save Link As…”
In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with guest host Bruce Muzik about the tools to overcome childhood traumas that are showing up in your relationships.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Bruce Muzik of Love at First Fight.
-
What are ACEs Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) (cdc.gov)>, and how are they affecting our relationships?
- The huge impact our childhoods have on our lives.
- Why there is a direct link that predicts disease in our adult life.
- What is affecting our potential relationship satisfaction.
- What a low vs high ACE score means.
- Why certain ACE scores are tied to alcoholism, chronic depression, smoking, autoimmune diseases and more.
- How many ACEs did Joel and Antonia have?
-
So you have ACEs…now what?
- Why healing from trauma is possible and faster than you think.
- How these particular trauma therapies are changing lives.
- Why this time period in history is set for healing trauma.
- The burgeoning science of healing trauma.
- Why talk therapy isn’t the best option to deal with trauma.
- Where our trauma is actually stored.
- Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score.
- The real thing that is most damaging to people beyond the actual trauma.
- What our emotions actually need to do.
-
How is trauma affecting our relationships?
- Which couples struggle the most in their relationships?
- What Bruce experienced in his marriage.
- What safety in our relationship really means.
- When we have cortisol pumping in our veins consistently.
- Why kissing your wife goodbye in the morning is such a big deal.
-
Why we all actually have trauma.
- Capital “T” Trauma vs lowercase “t” trauma.
- The one thing we all have to do.
- How attachment styles tie in with trauma. (Check out this episode with Bruce on attachment theory )
-
Where to get help.
- What is complex trauma?
- Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.
- The Crappy Childhood Fairy (Anna Runkle).
- Finding EMDR and trauma therapists at www.trauma.info
-
What do we do to handle trauma in others?
- When is challenge vs gentleness appropriate?
- Why personal growth leaders need to understand trauma.
- The model Bruce uses to grow through what we’ve gone through.
- What men need more vs what women need.
- Bruce’s experience of how to support and yet challenge.
-
Why labeling our partners can cause more problems than help.
- When blaming stops our progress.
- What focusing on the self does for you and your relationship.
- This important thing you need to learn.
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Subscribe with iTunes
Non-iTunes Link
Soundcloud
Stitcher
Google Play
Spotify
Radio Public
PlayerFM
Listen Notes
If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!
Want to learn more?
Discover Your Personal Genius
We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…
Share:
Podcast - Episode 0373 - How To Use Your Romantic Relationship For Personal Growth
Podcast - Episode 0375 - Beyond Stereotypes To Healthy Personality Types
25 comments
With 5 aces I could also have ended up doing something stupid, but the part of my personality DNA kept me sane enough to grow learn and overcome. It probably changed my personality into what I am now. INFJ which I see as a huge positive. What do you think?
This is, in my opinion, the deepest podcasts I’ve heard. Within 15min, jaw was on the floor, and from around the 1/2-way point to the end I was in tears. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this.
I have 5 aces, guess if I was in Vegas I’d be getting beat up and kicked out of the casino for cheating.
I was able to heal and overcome my past trauma by using the NLP Swish technique, which has been modified by the Human Given’s Group into the Rewind Technique.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiMsOzw8uPvAhVsMVkFHVXRCd4QFjAAegQIAxAD&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.hgi.org.uk%2Fhuman-givens%2Fintroduction%2Fwhat-are-human-givens&usg=AOvVaw2g7tJ1FwGeH1_vfKWPT23p
I don’t agree with the assessment that I would turn into a person that commits domestic violence. I have been domestically violated but I take no joy in hurting others, nor do I raise my hand to anyone, unless I was defending myself. I’d rather walk away then hurt someone.
I don’t do any drugs, or drink alcohol in excessive quantities either. I’m a cheap date, two and I’m done, carry me home. I may drink alcohol once per year likely cider for thanksgiving.
I’m thinking cognitive functions play a role in how we interpret the past and how we deal with trauma and the present.
Thank you. Great discussion. You dealt with a serious subject with the appropriate depth and sensitivity. I would add a standard ACE question not included on your guest’s list is the loss of a parent thru death or abandonment. That capitol T trauma often affects attachment style and adult relationships.
Thank you for this Pod Cast. I think there are a lot of adults including myself walking through life broken as I am learning myself. I scored 6 on the ACE test. I have been clinically depressed, on anti depressants, alcohol dependent, had a brush with cancer, Gluten & food sensitivity with thyroid problems, divorced. The link appears real. I can happily say I have it all under control now. Been working on it over the past 11 years.
I’m an INFJ, I am naturally suspicious of people anyway as I see their cloaked secrets, all the time. However seeing my blind spot will take the hyper sensitivity out of the equation.
I have used the Johari window to help open up and work on my blind spot. This only comes from others feed back, as you can’t see your blind spot, but you need to be open to receive this info to grow.