Toxic Personality Traits (with Dr. Dario Nardi) | Podcast 0455

12 comments

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  • Eric
  • October 6, 2022 at 8:01 pm

  Would it be fair to say then, by your attachment & emotional association preferences back then, you “created a platform” for such people to express their narcissist tendencies?

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  • Zac
  • October 9, 2022 at 10:10 pm

  I really like when your guest uses his own bad habit of blaming others when things weren’t working, and linked it to a toxic personality having ten such bad habits and refusing (or being unable) to ever acknowledge them and be real.
  I grew up with an NPD parent and this was exactly his MO. Cycling through a series of bad habits and defence mechanisms, never owning up to them. Even “owning up” would be a ploy or game to turn the tables yet again.
  Anyhow, that example is extremely approachable and easy to communicate to others who don’t understand how such toxic people operate.

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  • Eric
  • October 5, 2022 at 7:32 pm

  I’m only 1/3rd through (or so) but after Antonia’s description of Fe’s “nucleus” I wanted to chime in as it’s a topic I’ve been diving deep into the past few months, being INTP, it’s highly personal (inferior function as part of the “Spine of the Self” in John Beebe’s model, is something I feel deeply)

  The analogy I thought of was the studies on PM2.5 (particulate matter, like smoke) and how microscopic particles you breathe can end up in your blood stream- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8316685/

  Bear with me here, NTP gone off the rails…

  Fe involves this sense of physical vibe, either physical or simulated (w/ online communication), that there is an “energy” coming from others behaviors and dynamic experience (we need to define this “psychic energy” further but maybe later) that can impregnate our bloodstream; their content enters through our Fe psychic “noses” and diffuses through our proverbial lungs and immediately impacts us, alters OUR experience, and our body constantly responds to this onslaught of psychic energy by raising our heartrate (literally in many cases), impinging upon unconscious psychic content and conscious psychic content, and Fe generally creates an ecosystem where other peoples’ energies play around in our own psychic ecosystem in a 2-way manner; we can “cough up” an immediate counter-vibe that others receive through their psychic “noses.”

  I have noticed before that, before I’ve become more conscious and intentional about my “vibe,” ESFJ types often evoke this feeling in me that I am naked—that they are already in my head, somehow. I’ve sat with this a bit and I think I have a hypothesis why.

  ESFJs, at least (ENFJs maybe too not sure) seem to have very “dynamic” facial body language- a great example on youtube is this INFJ and ESFJ talking, notice how animated the ESFJ lady on the right is – her facial language contorting constantly even when she’s listening and her INFJ friend is talking- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0kVFNFq72o

  I kind’ve think the “naked” feeling I get is the fact that these folks can read your feelings right off your face – and it’s immediately reflected in theirs. It’s unspoken, assumed, as such you’re probably reading it inaccurately on some level but it’s no matter – It’s a signal and it’s literally right in your face, any inaccuracies can be resolved with time and interaction/feedback. Everything else about Fe emerges from the implications of humans having this real-time connection with one another; we simulate its quality in online communication by trying to establish the shape of this psychic energy through “reading between the lines,” this is problematic for a lot of reasons but we do it anyway.

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  • Josh
  • October 6, 2022 at 4:03 pm

  whoops. I switched the volumes on channel metaphor. You get the point.

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  • Ryan INFP
  • October 5, 2022 at 2:22 pm

  I never realised so clearly until this podcast how everybody is the same its just all expression. Even as a tiny little kid we want people to behave like us and we fight back against anything that is the opposite Dario talking about FE i agree but what an explanation by Antonia i understand it now. My toxicity behaviour is the reason i got into all this in the first place so i love this podcast.