Toxic Personality Traits (with Dr. Dario Nardi) | Podcast 0455

12 comments

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  • Josh
  • October 6, 2022 at 4:02 pm

  Hey all, INFJ here.

  I’ve heard you guys talk a few times about INFJs seeing narcissists everywhere. You’re probably right that there’s a bit of bias going on there, or maybe, like Dario was saying, that Ni/Fe lends itself to high standards of empathy. I thought I’d add another angle. I actually have way lower standards in many cases, because my little “everyday superpower” is making excuses for people.

  Just to preface this, I’m 40 now, and this was in my 20s, so I really don’t have any strong emotions tied to “tales of woe” anymore or anything. But I had a string of partners and friends in my life who glommed onto me to for reasons ranging from making others jealous, to getting free room and board, and in one case, as an elaborate practical joke. I would default to having the volume way down on the “aw, they’re a poor thing who had XYZ happen to them” channel, and the volume way up on the “are you f—ing kidding me? they’re clearly terrible” channel. Rather than seeing sociopaths and/or narcissists in every shadow, I was routinely averting my eyes from them.

  The lesson I had to learn was actually to stop inviting and excusing that kind of behavior – things got way easier for me when I switched the volumes on those two channels and kept them there.

  I do think I’ve had an oversampling of ASPD and NPD traits among people I’ve associated with, with the caveat that a lot of it was due to the worm-on-a-hook energy that I was putting out there. To put it simply, for a long time I was really easy to screw with. Someone like me was a shiny, dangly object for people with those tendencies.

  But with that said, I kinda stick to my guns on the oversampling of toxic people in my life, back in the day anyway.

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  • Ryan INFP
  • October 5, 2022 at 2:00 pm

  ENFPs INFPs what i reckon about the conman is these two types feel like this is what gives them the upper hand in life being able to alter tinker with other peoples perspective. FI is strong it deals with everything what do you mean you cant cope. What is up with you.