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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about developing thinking as an ISTJ, INTJ, ENTP, or ESTP.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Car Model article
- Car Model Podcast
- Why We Resist Developing The Co-Pilot In Our Personality
- INTJs & ISTJs copilot is Extraverted Thinking (Te)
- ENTPs & ESTPs copilot is Introverted Thinking (Ti)
- Driver process is perceiving. Open framed. Learning. Gathering info.
- Copilot is for judging the info and getting into action.
- INTJ/ISTJ
- ISTJs Driver is Introverted Sensing “Memory”
- INTJs Driver is Introverted Intuition “Perspectives”
- Copilot for both types is Extraverted Thinking “Effectiveness”
- ITJs may use Te in a single-minded focused way.
- There may seem to be more ROI with such single-minded focus, but it doesn’t help you learn all the skills that come with Te.
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Gifts Te gives ITJs:
- Set up a streamlined system
- Project mgmt
- Leadership skills
- Delegations skills
- Resource mgmt,
- talent scouting,
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Challenges:
- IJs hate to feel vulnerable
- Te is designed to metricize things in the outside world
- pass/fail metrics
- Thinking = failure points
- Te = failure points in the outer world. Between systems that are running.
- “How hard can I push on this until it breaks?”
- This is helpful in the long run because it allows ITJs to find failure points in all systems, even relationships.
- Tweak the system until it runs beautifully without continuous effort
- Feedback mechanisms Te relies on is a big sticking point for ITJs
- When developing our copilot the challenge is to not use copilot in service of 10 yr old.
- 10 yr old is the same attitude as the driver.
- 10 yr old needs to serve the copilot. Not the other way around.
- ITJs 10 yr old is Introverted Feeling Fi
- Fi is very tied to the ego. To how things make you feel.
- Exposing self to feedback may bring feedback that the system failed.
- Failure is painful to Fi.
- ITJ builds worlds where they want to feel good all the time.
- The ideal is that the ITJ become Addicted to metricized feedback. Even the bad feedback.
- Take ideas the ITJ gets from their driver and make them in the outside world to move the needle and get things done, then allow the 10 yr old to tell you when something you are doing is right.
- It isn’t about you. It is about the thing you just built.
- It is easy to allow the 10 yr old to convince you of your failure before you even try because you think you can see how it will fail.
- Don’t allow authenticity to be a failure point before you get started
- Don’t Self-sabotage
- Your assumptions may not be accurate
- Use Fi to provide artistic flair to the things you construct in the outside world.
- ITJs can create synthetic self-esteem and never truly challenge themselves – which means there is self-doubt mixed in with the artificial self-esteem
- Better to build your self-esteem on actual, measurable, tangible results. Then it’s real.
- When you figure out the failure points through real-world action, you can see more sophisticated systems layered on, like people systems.
- You can scale the effectiveness process the more you exercise and master it.
- You can be the leader you want to be
- You can also become more responsive to the challenges of life
- Introverts tend to put things off until they feel ready and/or comfortable
- Effectiveness reminds you to tether yourself to timelines in the real world
- To master the self-leadership of Te, do these exercises:
- (These are extraverted exercises because it is an extraverted function)
- Identify one area of your life you want to improve, like dropping 10 pounds.
- Set a realistic metricized goal with mile markers. Like 1.5 lbs per week.
- Put it into action by getting all the necessary tools. (Jogging shoes, gym membership, calorie counting app, etc. Must be intuitive and easy to use.)
- Find somebody to keep you accountable (trainer, friend, social media post – whatever is the most uncomfortable option)
- Put mile markers in front of you with a chart or an announcement on social media
- Weigh yourself every day and record it – on social media if it will keep you accountable.
- External engagement is absolutely necessary!
- Do things based on the metrics you’re getting rather than on how you’re feeling.
- “I’ve committed to this external marker. I have to stick to it.”
- Don’t deviate to adjust your feelings. Only deviate if you need to adjust your metrics.
- Check in with your feelings after you have succeeded, or failed.
- Get all the metrics in and adjust accordingly.
- Introverted Thinking (Ti) Copilot – ENTP & ESTP
- Ti – Accuracy
- Internal metrics and failure points in your ways of thinking
- Ti needs to be able to call bullshit on their inaccurate thoughts.
- ETPs can tend to weaponize this against others
- The biggest challenge is finding the logical inconsistencies in themselves
- Cognitive dissonance can be painful but being able to recognize it keeps them from living lives of quiet desperation
- “Are the actions I am taking logical? Should I be taking them?”
- Consequences come with actions but behaving in congruence with personal integrity you won’t trap yourself in painful situations.
- Dishonoring your truth = pain and cognitive dissonance
- Acting in alignment with integrity = you make decisions that lead to your happiness
- Ti gives you focus and mastery
- Hyperfocused
- People of this type become the world’s greatest athletes because they are hyperfocused on mastery
- ETPs like connecting with other people and can be tempted to get into trolling behavior
- Putting out a precision idea to get people riled
- Can also be used to attack other people’s flawed thinking
- Get clear with yourself first then add compassion to your truths, so they are easier to accept
- We tend to have our copilot serve our 10-year-old function
- ETPs can be so desperate for connection they may make fun of other people, become people pleasers, or drama creators.
- Ti can do mental aikido by out-arguing everyone else.
- People welcome complete truths
- Partial truths aren’t helpful
- Partial truths are only true part of the time. So they are limited.
- The complete truth is that some things are contradictory
- Complete truths are restful to people
- Remove the partial truths and share the complete truth with kindness by using Extraverted Feeling.
- Lots of comedians use humor to share their truths.
- Exercises for Ti:
- This is an Introverted exercise
- Go into your mind and look for thoughts and beliefs you haven’t been scrutinizing carefully
- Could be religious, political, familial, or thoughts about yourself
- If I look at this thought critically will it survive an honest analysis?
- Ask relevant questions:
- How do I know this to be true?
- Where did I pick this info up?
- What would happen if I stopped believing it?
- What else would I have to look at critically if I let this one go?
- You may not have to change your belief, but you need to get good at surgically looking at these beliefs.
- Then ask why it makes sense to you to hold on to such a thought.
- Is it attached to your ego?
- Or do you think it will damage relationships?
- Write down the results.
- Regardless of how others feel, what is your truth?
- Abandoning someone else’s beliefs isn’t betrayal.
- Redesign your life to be more ergonomic to your type. Most of us have not done this.
- Mastering your copilot will make changes to your life.
- Expose your deficiencies to the outside world and see if you are on the right track.
- These aren’t small changes which is why we avoid addressing them, but the rewards are real.
- Build real competency through your copilot and the self-doubt will go away.
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24 comments
Yup, as an ENTP, I came for the Ti, but what gave me chills was the description of Te, as a mom of a ENTJ son. His childhood was one long journey of watching and reacting to his tendency of ‘Constantly figuring out failure points (and doing so directly) with self, people, and things.’
That was quite an experience.
For me, I love using my Ne to discover and explore adopting Te routines, from Flylady to David Allen’s GTD.
Hey guys,
Nice podcast yet again. The thing I wanted to comment on was the part where you talked about the example about losing weight and I fully understand that you were using that example to illustrate what I should be doing as an INTJ or maybe an ISTJ to develop Te if I were to start the project of losing weight.
But my strategizing self noticed how the approach you mentioned was one of the approaches I tried but didn’t actually work in the long-run. As soon as that project ended I’d go back to old eating and living habits and I’d gain the weight right back.
So seeing how this was a chronic problem having to do with my lifestyle I had to make permanent changes to my lifestyle which was even more discouraging but this is where I did pay attention to the process and my feelings more than taking a projectwork approach.
But there was still a systematic approach to how I changed my life. I understood about myself that I hate working out and that I’d rather stay inside sitting all day while always eating only stuff that I really like as opposed to viewing food as nutrition that is turned into energy to keep my body operating.
So what I did was introduce work-out modules into my life little by little and then phasing out eating modules that were integrated into my eating habits.
The first work-out module was taking long walks, not only was that good cardio if the walks were long enough, I loved the process of walking and I loved the feeling afterwards -> because I had been productive that day.
I phased out the easiest of my bad eating habits and that was reducing my sugar-intake: no sodas, no extra sugar in tea, learning how to eat yoghurt plain, no milk or sugar in coffee etc. Of course not all at the same time, but as soon as I noticed that drinking water was going wel and I wasn’t craving sodas I’d move on to not putting sugar in my tea, if that went well I’d move on to the next. Even if I went back to drinking tea with sugar one time I’d sometimes not even like it or if I did like it I’d go: yeah this is a one time, let’s not put sugar into the tea next time. I’d be more accepting of my fall backs.
Next thing I introduced from my work-out module was doing simple ab workouts. I put a lot of conditions on this: I only work out on days I don’t work, I won’t push myself too hard if I don’t feel I can do it, tomorrow I’ll get another shot at it, and I won’t do this when I am menstruating. So this is the step I am at.
The next thing I am trying to change about my eating habits is trying to introduce slightly more protein and fruits because I tend to have easier access to carbonhydrates. So I eat apples more often, because that’s relatively easy or oranges. I like these fruits. The only reason I mind eating them is because my hands get sticky, but you know what I need to learn to stop being lazy and get up to wash my hands more often.
Getting more proteins by thinking ahead of time before cooking so thinking of taking out the meat like chicken or beef to let it thaw out or getting more meat-based stuff for on my sandwich during lunch at work.
So that’s how I have been losing fat (not weight, I’ll get to that in a second). Using the right metrics here is crucial. Usually when you just lose weight you lose a lot of liquid first but that’s not actual fat you’re losing which is ultimately your goal when you say weight loss for health purposes.
After that for me there was little progress in terms of losing weight. But after doing this for 6 months my clothes started to feel baggy and I actually wear clothes that are two sizes smaller than I used to wear. In terms of weight I haven’t changed a bit and that is because the amount of fat I lost is being replaced by muscle which is much heavier. So I am probably getting slimmer and smaller but my weight is exactly the same as 6 months ago. It is super frustrating if you weigh yourself every day.
But if you put the effort in with the realization that every little thing you invest into this is going to get you even better results down the road you’ll eventually notice change.
It’s really funny I weighed myself recently and got really bummed out that I’d be weighing the same as 6 months ago yet I am definitely wearing 2 sizes smaller than I used to. It’s like my body is going: I really like this weight, let’s keep it exactly as it is. Oh snap where’s all the fat going? Here let me add just enough muscle to maintain the same weight. Can’t have you lose too much! LOL.
Of course I realize that this is entirely because of my method and that I could be quicker but legitimately I cannot get any quicker if I do that next to my work and studies I start hyperventilating and developing anxiety and going back to burning myself out again. And realistically I think most people couldn’t maintain all this especially if they have a life next to all this.
And we have to take into consideration where everyone’s coming from. I was never athletic and early on in gym class I was always the slowest and the worst, so early on I was confronted at how bad I was at working out, of course I wouldn’t want to do it as an adult. That’s why I am still indulging my Fi where I am trying to be kind to myself in these terms: it’s fine, you’re bad at this, let’s learn this step by step.
Now I am finally at a stage where I can’t go without taking that long 8 km walk.
Hi again folks. Sorry for the late followup. I intend to follow this up but stuff busy and ordeals to do. First of all, thanks a whole lot to you folks of personalityhacker.com for making my life a blast! Been reading often times your articles and listening to your podcasts on INTJs. I’m an INTJ! Fraid I am out of context in posting, helping out Alexis here, I don’t know. I intend to help but perhaps it’s inappropriate, don’t know. Anyway, I felt that I need to clarify stuff here, if I may. I’ve experienced the GTD of David Allen. Just that, my decisions, behaviors, actions out of the system of Te would get resisted by others if my “way of being” isn’t right – the essence of the teachings of the books of Arbinger. Just said my unsolicited advice. Peace. And thanks a lot personalityhacker for a Super great job for helping me!!!
INTP here. As a Ti dominant, the answer to your question is an unequivocal ‘never.’ Why set yourself up for short term or even lifelong harm? The difference between you and I is that I will evaluate before I jump. It doesn’t drive anyone crazy because the gear changes happen in my mind before I act. My weakness is not exploring/taking risks as often as you do and yours is to evaluate when it could potentially be too late. I need to speed up. You need to slow down. Now where can I get myself an ENTP around these parts? :)
’Course can be used to develop Ti too and other stuff. Sorry too quick on typing.